Archive | August, 2022

The Office Continued

27 Aug

August 27, 2022

Full Disclosure: The following is an actual dream I had, told almost exactly as it happened. The only edit I am making is that at one point in the dream, I became a character but I am leaving myself out. My addition in the story did not change the narrative at all, so nothing is missing.

This was a very vivid dream, and in it, I was watching a new television show, a continuation of The Office. In fact, in my dream, I could see the outline of the television screen around the action. There was one part of the dream where something shocking happened (you’ll read it below) and I said, audibly “Holy f**king shit!” so loudly I partially woke myself up.

The dream wasn’t completely in order and I won’t change the way the dream happened, but it does give a complete, though unfinished, narrative of my dream version of the return of The Office. You’ll notice that certain characters are missing, and I am certain that had my dream continued for more “episodes,” more would have been introduced.

The episode begins about five years after the end of the series and ignores much of what happens there. Dunder Mifflin is now based in lower Manhattan (the area between the S.I. ferry terminal and South Street Seaport, if you know lower Manhattan.) They are on the first floor of a building and have a large glass window looking out onto the street.

Something ominous is happening. Outside the window people are rushing about, not in a panic, but with a sense of urgency. The Dunder Mifflin staff are going to the basement for protection from whatever is going on outside. (Oscar and Meredith can be seen going down the stairs in the background.) However, David Wallace walks into frame and stands silhouetted against the windows. To no one in particular, he says “I need to be out there.” and prepares to go outside.

Jim Halpert grabs his jacket and tells him he can’t go out there. Wallace shakes him off but refuses to be stopped. He goes outside and Jim runs behind him, begging him to come back inside and still trying to grab him. Wallace and Jim walk down the block, still arguing. The documentary crew refuses to go outside and instead films them from the office entrance. As Jim and Wallace reach the street corner, the situation outside, still unexplained, seems to get worse and people huddle for cover. Through a crowd, the documentary crew manages to film a glimpse of Jim and Wallace as they duck inside a building.

Then the building collapses on them.

The next scene in my dream takes place five years after the deaths of Jim and Wallace. A caption on the screen places the action in South America. Pam is sitting behind a large desk in a large and expensive office, though it is barren of personal decorations. She is busy talking on a phone, with another ringing on the desk. Dunder Mifflin is now a newspaper, employing hundreds of employees, and is dedicated to finding out what was behind the event that happened back in New York. Pam is the boss.

The next scene, which is out of order, is set in the aftermath of the first scene, Pam, her children, now older than when last seen on The Office, and other cast members (Phyllis, Oscar, Creed) are in the main room of Dunder Mifflin, at their desks, in shock, processing the whole tragedy, in particular the deaths of Wallace and Jim. Sitting between Pam and her kids, unseen, is the ghostly form of Jim, looking horribly mangled, and if there was any doubt he was really dead, this settles it.

The next scene takes place later, and in Los Angeles. Darryl, bearded, is angrily talking to Roy on a street corned across from a very modern office building where Dunder Mifflin is now located. Darryl angrily, but choosing his words carefully, tells Roy that if he’s allowed back at Dunder Mifflin he’ll have to change his ways and toe the line. Also standing there is Dwight, bearded and in a flannel shirt, looking nothing like he used to and exuding confidence. He’s also been away from Dunder Mifflin and has become a very successful investigative reporter, although his methods have been questionable. Dwight takes it all in with a grain of salt and a superior grin.

A ghostly Jim is there, looking at Dwight with a smile. Jim looks normal and not gruesome now.

The following scene is brief, at Jim and Wallace’s memorial service, where some mourners faint from grief.

Still Los Angeles, Kevin is looking for Angela. L.A. has had some changes, including a modern monorail system that stops right at a hospital entrance, on the third floor. At the desk, he finds her registered under the last name Martin, although she had married Dwight and become Angela Schrute at the end of the series. The security guard gives him a paper with a very South American sounding name on it and directs Kevin down the hall.

As Kevin is pondering the odd name, he comes to the area to which he was directed, and on the wall is a plaque with the South American name, declaring it to be dedicated to those who died in the Spanish-American War. It is an open ward, with a nurse’s station and four or six beds. Angela is walking around the ward wearing a robe, speaking to no one, looking straight ahead. She does not acknowledge Kevin.

As Oscar watches Angela, he wonders who is paying her hospital bills, and then realizes that it must be Oscar, who is somehow now very wealthy.

Angela walks over to one of the hospital beds and uses the controls to lift it about four feet in the air. She looks at a young patient who is also in the ward, and asks him if he minds. “No,” he replies, with a look on his face that shows that he has been through this with her before.

And that is where I woke up.

Amos Has Retired

16 Aug

August 16, 2022

Yes, it is true. Top Investigator Amos has retired. As he put it, “I think maybe I can put away my rolodex.”

Amos does not take bad news well. He takes everything personally. We have been telling him for months that we had no work to give him, and he only had a few old cases he was still working on. The truth is, we had no work that we were able to give him. We were asked by most clients not to use him on their cases.

“A Crackerjack like me should be in demand.”

He tended to yell at and berate the people he was supposed to be helping. This is the text of an actual letter (not an email or text, a letter) that he sent to someone whose cooperation he needed sometime last year.

Dear (name redacted) !

I have called you twice and you have not given me the simple courtesy of a reply! I will travel to your house on Wednesday to one more time meet you so you can sign your affidavit. Please do research and go on The Google first to see where a notary is so we don’t waste any more time!

Amos was in the office about a month ago. He comes in once a week without fail to “report.” This is not a job requirement. No one else does that. His reports usually start with a recap of whatever movie he saw over the weekend and news of his “ladyfriend,” and the less said about that the better.

On this particular day he had arrived early and decided to sit in my office and wait for me there, as opposed to the absolutely anywhere else that would have been more appropriate. Being a “Top Investigator” and a “Crackerjack” apparently means that closed doors do not apply to him. On my desk was a list I keep of all my investigators and their assignments. While everyone else had from 6 to 8 assignments, Amos had only 1. Amos had rested a brochure for herbal supplements on it.

Amos told me that he was leaving us due to lack of work, lamented that someone with his skills wasn’t better utilized, and then, went to speak with the owner of the company, who has known Amos for at least 25 years.

Their goodbye lasted a minute and a half.

So long Amos, and good luck on the next chapter of your storied career.

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