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The Celebrity Apprentice: Week Four

11 Mar

March 11, 2012

Last week, the men lost a decorating challenge, George Takei was beamed out of the boardroom and Dee Snyder returned after surgery to fix his finger. 

And now, week four. Dee said that Trump fired the wrong guy. For whatever reason, he and his team don’t see Lou Ferrigno as a strong teammate. However, in the boardroom, he is a very strong player. I do not yet know, but I’d guess that this is Lou’s week to step up and be project manager.

THE TASK: Design a ten minute presentation and a ten minute Q+A for the Buick Verano.
MEN’S PROJECT MANAGER: Adam Carolla (Ok, I guessed wrong).

The stakes are high. Buick is tossing in another thirty thousand to the winning charity, meaning they are playing for $50,000.

“I don’t think  any of them wold have a creative bone in their body to continue on without me.” – Aubrey, once again thinking way too highly of herself. Once again, she thinks she is running the show.

The women were split into two teams. Here is how Aubrey described them: “I’ve always been in the cool group. This is the creative cool van. The other van is the leftovers.” Will anyone like her when this is over?

On the men’s side, Adam was reminded by Clay that they had Michael freakin’ Andretti on their team and if they were doing a car presentation, he’d better be on stage. Early on, Arsenio had doubts that Adam was right to be on center stage during the presentation. He’s a comedian working for a company whose representatives show zero sense of humor and even actively resist humor.

Michael, who has yet to show anything special in the tasks, said that Lou only worried about Lou. Dee told Lou point-blank that he had to step up. Ok, Lou’s idea to paint himself green and become the Hulk was goofy but what has Andretti done? Even Ivanka told him that the task seemed like a natural for him. Why didn’t he step up?

Adam, Paul Sr., and Michael went to test drive the Verano and those were clearly the right guys. Adam was the host of the USA version of Top Gear, Paul Sr. owns dozens of classic and current cars, and Michael Andretti? ‘Nuff said. The problem was, the rest of them back in the office had no clue what to do. Adam gave them the task of writing a presentation where the guys would be hecklers in the audience. No one liked it but they followed the leader. They tried to tell him it was a bad move to yell “you suck” and go for low-brow laughs but he was stubborn about it.

“Of the twenty-minute show, Adam was responsible for nineteen and a half.” – Penn, and read between the lines. If the men lose, Adam is gone.

On the women’s side, Tia pitched some ideas but felt marginalized and stepped back. Don Junior thought that Debbie needed to crack the whip and get the team moving. Dayan felt the same way. With 12 hours to go, no one really knew what was going to happen. Aubrey was angry/jealous that Debbie was going to sing. Why? Because Aubrey was not going to sing. She is so shallow and full of herself. But Debbie got the last laugh because during the presentation Aubrey got the name of the car wrong. Twice. (Trump later said that could be a fireable offense.)

The women went on, despite no one, not even the project manager, knowing exactly what they were going to do. The idea was that Tia was conducting a casting call for a Verano spokesperson and the other women would “audition.” Debbie and Lisa were pretty good, but Aubrey? Ugh. She told a story about her mother dying in a car accident. If her mother were driving a Verano she would have lived. SERIOUSLY?

“I totally lied. I thought I did amazing. I was like a pastor at church, feeding on my disciples.” Yeah, week in and week out Aubrey makes herself look worse and worse. And she does it all herself, no help from anyone.

The audience got to ask questions. The first was a technical question and Tia was totally unprepared to discuss safety ratings. At the end, the Buick reps said it was fun. We’ll see if fun=good.

And then the men came out and Adam for whatever reason was nervous.  He did know what he was talking about though, he knew all the car’s specs. Michael Andretti came out and endorsed the car. “His last name is Andretti and he likes the car. Good enough for me.” -Adam.

Then the heckling began and it actually seemed to work because the heckling was all car-related. Penn questioned if a guy his size would fit in the car and they even fit him in the trunk. However, they missed a big opportunity. He is a magician so he should have disappeared.

Best part of the heckling? Paul Sr. yelling to Adam “you suck!”  It didn’t seem to go over so well but for the first time we got a glimpse of the angry Paul we see on Monday nights.

The boardroom starts at 10:05 and my guess? The men won. Easily.

Team Trump got in Michael for not stepping up and taking control of the task. Clearly, his stock has gone down in their eyes. I think that while he is of course a car expert, this task need a presenter, which he clearly is not.

What did Lou do? Not much, he said, just whatever he was asked. “I think I should be utilized more.” I’ll say it again, he needs to be the next project manager. Then we will see how good he is.

Trump: “I think you should have used him.”

Penn, in a preemptive strike, told Trump that he thought there should have been less humor, and Dee backed him up.

Who will Adam bring back if they lose? No one. If they lose he deserves to get fired, he said. Good on him for character. And honestly, there could be no one else brought in. They all did what Adam asked as well as they could.  

On the women’s side, the team supported Debbie but the support was lukewarm. Tepid, if you will. Trump pointed out, correctly, that Tia has been going under the radar so far and that is usually a clue that it is time to step up. Will we see Tia as PM next week?

Who will Debbie bring back if they lose? Tia and Teresa. “They haven’t gotten to show all they can do.” Team Trump took that theme and rode with it, attacking Teresa for holding back. Trump compared Debbie Gibson to Derek Jeter, in that they both put the team first. I think that was a bit of a stretch. However, Trump’s tactic worked and Tia and Teresa started to attack Debbie, which is what he wanted in the first place.

THE WINNER: The women. Yes, you read that right, the women. HOW? They got the name wrong, the didn’ t know the technical aspects, HOW?

At the 10:33 commercial break, I am thinking that this will be the easiest boardroom ever. Bye bye Adam Carolla. Who else? Will he try to say it was Lou’s fault for not stepping up? This task was all him, 100%, and he already said everyone did what he asked them to, and more to the point, he said he should be fired if they lost!

And then I remembered that the commercial teased two firings this week.

In the boardroom, the men were in total shock. As was I.

Paul, who was the weakest player on your team? Lou.
Lou: “I agree but it was because I did what I was given.”
Lou, who was the weakest link? Michael, for all the reasons already given.

If Adam somehow skates, Micheal will be the one fired because the Trumps were adamant that he should have stepped up and been project manager. Adam, again to his credit, defended Michael.

Arsenio, who would you fire? Lou. “We are having a hard time placing Lou.” Is that Lou’s fault? Trump: “Maybe Lou should be the project manager next time if you make it.” 

At 10:43, I am leaning toward an Andretti firing, though the team wants Lou gone.

Dee, who is the weakest player? Lou. Who should be fired? “Adam, it was his show.” Dee hit it right on the head.

GOING TO THE BOARDROOM: Adam. No one else. Ten out of ten for character, but this is for charity and he should fight.

Trump then decided that he was firing two people and no, he gave no indication that Adam would be one of them. could it be both Lou and Michael going?

SAFE: Penn, Dee, Paul Sr., Clay, and Arsenio.
IN DANGER: Adam, Michael, and Lou. My guesses have been pretty evenly split right or wrong, but for what it is worth, I see Micheal Andretti being the easy fire. I also see Lou being given the shot to lead next week, and Adam taking the hit for the team loss. When the team loses and no one can be singled out who did a lousy job, the project manager always takes the hit.

And that is just how it played out. If Adam brought Micheal back with him, Adam would still be here.

This NEVER should have happened. The men did a FAR better job than the women.

NEXT WEEK: The teams do mop infomercials.

Sneak Peek of the Week of March 11th, 2012

11 Mar

March 11, 2012

Sherlock Holmes (and much as I love Sherlock, that guy above is the real deal) is looking for a clue about what’s coming up. Too bad there was no internet back then.

This week, the usual made-for-TV drama of The Celebrity Apprentice and American Chopper will start the week. In the middle of the week I will ruin another fairy tale with My Memories of Snow White and the New York Minute returns with some real life skewed New York history. The week ends with The Imponderable asking a pertinent medical question, and The Saturday Comics will ask the question, did you read that? All this, a refreshing milkshake, and more, this week on Mr. Blog’s Tepid Ride.

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