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Archive | 9:10 pm

American Chopper: Senior vs. Junior: Free Rick

7 Nov

November  7, 2011

DISCLAIMER! Until yesterday, Discovery said this was going to be the Cadillac Build-Off Part 2 airing tonight. However, when I checked their website yesterday, they suddenly had a listing for a new episode. I have no clue why the mixup, but rather than post a repeat blog of the Cadillac Build-Off, here is the description of what may or may not be the next new episode. Feel free to talk about the dueling 9/11 bikes instead of the rerun.

FREE RICK
Nov. 7, 2011
Junior lands the biggest job of his  career when he is asked to build a bike inspired by the restoration of Ground  Zero in NYC. Senior secures a build for a wealthy foreigner and rumors fly at  both shops over Rick’s assumed discontent at OCC.

First things first. I already showed you the pics of the PJD 9/11 bike weeks ago right here.

OCC builds a 9/11 bike, then PJD builds one. Coincidence? No. We’ve seen this over and over and over. They do the same type of bike and get the same type of clients.  There is very little “reality” here. We’ve already seen both bikes so before this even begins I am saying that Paulie’s is far, far better. The OCC bike had no connection to 9/11 except for part of the paint job. Paulie’s works the whole memorial into the theme. OCC made a nice bike, but as a 9/11 tribute? No way. Hands down, Paulie wins.

This is the difference between a desinger and a, well, whatever Jason Pohl is. Paint over the rear and this could be a bike for anything. In fact, if you google OCC 9/11 bike (or anything like that) the fire bike comes up most, not this. Sure, that bike has been around longer, but it is still a far better tribute than this black bike.

Secondly, is Rick leaving? Draw your own conclusions. This is from his page on the OCC website: “Petko now resides in Stroudsburg, PA, where he built himself a workshop to work on projects of his own.” That’s a long commute to work.

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A New York Legend (3)

7 Nov

November 7, 2011

No, I don't know her

If you listen to conventional wisdom, and shame on you, the sewers of New York are in habited by alligators. And not just regular alligators, but a race of blind mutant albino alligators. Why not?

So being a lover of all things dark and mysterious, I put on my Carl Kolchak hat and set out to discover the truth. My first stop was the sewer. Sorry, I mean the internet. Same thing.

Stories of sewer gators go back to at least 1927 and no less a source than the venerable (meaning way past its prime) New York Times published stories of killer reptiles roaming the sewer tunnels all throughout the years.

The story goes that “years ago”- and you can’t see it but I was using air quotes- note to self- video blog- “years ago” a family returned from a vacation in Florida with a little more than they left with, a baby alligator. Really, you can’t get a better pet for your young child than an alligator, right? They only grow to like 12 feet. So time passed, as time often does in this dimension, and the alligator grew and grew and at some point the family must have realized that a small New York apartment is no place for a large apex predator. Obviously this story doesn’t take place in the Bronx.

Anyway, the poor little guy, meaning the alligator, not the child, ended up flushed down the toilet, no better than a dead goldfish or your car keys at the hands of a two-year old. Now before you start yelling “animal cruelty,” put yourself in the alligator’s shoes. So to speak. Lots of water to lurk in, dark, plenty of food- like rats, CHUDs, the occasional sewer worker- and did I say rats? Lots and lots of rats. I have to figure that if there was really a race of mutant alligators in the sewers there would be a lot less rats.

And that’s the point. According to snopes.com, it is totally false. No alligators live in the New York sewers. But hasn’t stopped several city-funded expeditions over the years. From time to time city officials have sent teams of men into the sewers to capture or kill the non-existent reptiles. Think about it. Loads of underpaid city workers wandering the sewers with high-powered rifles blundering around in the dark hunting invisible prey. If that isn’t a metaphor for New York City politics I don’t know what is.

And speaking of sewers, wikipedia (their motto: We Am Accurate) says that the New York sewer system stretches over 6,600 miles. It also says that New York has anywhere from 8 to 32 million rats. Those alligators don’t stand a chance.

This has been your New York Minute, and that’s one to grow on.

An audio version of this legend first appeared just last week in the amazing FlashPulp website. Check them out for awesomeness and goodies!

You can find the previous New York Legends here (The Invisible Bridge) and here (The Giant Turntable).

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