A New York Legend (2)

29 Sep

September 29, 2011

This New York Legend is fat-packed with semi-scientific suppositions and imaginary engineering.

Beneath New York City, far below the sewers, underneath even the roaring subway, runs a series of water tunnels stretching from the Hudson River to the west to the East river on the opposite shore. These man-made subterranean waterways were constructed almost 100 years ago. They radiate into and out of a large chamber nearly a full block in width, located directly below a particular building on 5th avenue.

The water rushing into the chamber is harnessed to create hydroelectric power, which is used to operate a massive turntable. This piece of engineering is aligned perfectly with the building’s central axis and is stabilized by and synchronized to three 100-foot gyroscopes, ensuring that the turntable is attuned to the Earth’s rotation.

The entire system is accessible only at one point, through a an ordinary looking and unmarked door at the end of a long but unremarkable corridor just off the building’s main lobby.

Most people can’t tell you what the purpose of the gyroscope is, and in fact nearly no one but a very elite few know of its existence, but if you find yourself in mid-town Manhattan at 4am on a particular morning in early May, you just might notice that a certain tall building seems to have slightly rotated in its foundation by exactly 4.675 degrees. And if you direct your gaze upward, you might notice that the building’s antenna lines up perfectly with a certain celestial object.

Can you say it isn’t true?

Keep watching the sky!

This New York Legend is another one from New York radio legend Long John Nebel’s back catalogue, with confabulation and obfuscation by yours truly.

An audio version of this legend first appeared just last week in the amazing FlashPulp website. Check them out for awesomeness and goodies!

5 Responses to “A New York Legend (2)”

  1. Thomas Stazyk September 29, 2011 at 4:05 am #

    I’ve heard that there are a lot of tunnels under Manhattan but have no idea what this is all about.

    Like

    • bmj2k September 29, 2011 at 6:18 am #

      It is about 1% true and 99% BS, like the glass bridge story last week. Part of the legends series that appeared on the NY Minute Flash Cast segment. Those two were based on old Long John Nebel stories.

      Like

  2. Thomas Stazyk September 29, 2011 at 5:17 pm #

    Just saw this in our news and thought it might interest you–they’re everywhere!

    http://nz.news.yahoo.com/a/-/top-stories/10373111/fake-batman-goes-to-christchurch-police/

    Like

    • bmj2k September 29, 2011 at 6:31 pm #

      That is a great story! I have such a funny mental image of that scene.

      Like

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