Archive | October, 2011

The Saturday Comics: O.J. Simpson

22 Oct

October 22, 2011

I think we all know what OJ Simpson is famous for.

His shoes.

That’s right, long before he killed his wife and her boyfriend – OOPS! I mean some other guy killed them- OJ had a pretty lucrative gig endorsing footwear. Sure, we know him now for gloves (“If the gloves don’t fit you must ignore all the clear evidence of his obvious guilt and acquit.” That was the famous quote, right?) but there was a time when The Juice’s feet landed him on the back pages of every comic in America.

For the record, I don’t think I ever saw those shoes in any store.

I think OJ might have partial to golf shoes. After all, he spent a lot of time on the golf course- OOPS! I mean looking for the real killer- in between trials. But he was always fond of footwear and I remember this next ad from countless comics.

I really wish “OJ Dingo” had caught on. That would have been sweet.

But look at the second panel. What are those kids doing in the locker room, and what exactly is OJ doing? What kind of pose is that? Is he flexing for those kids? And how did he get dressed in the span of one panel? Did he just throw that shirt on over his pads? He must stink! Or did OJ stop to shower before dressing? So were those kids just waiting around while OJ showered? Did Jeph Loeb write this crappy comic?

When I was a kid, around the time that ad came out. I owned and wore a pair of cowboy boots, I am ashamed to say, but I have no idea if they were Dingos. And putting on my Mr. Grammar hat for a quick second, can someone explain to me the reason for the apostrophe in “Dingo’s”?

But that wasn’t the Dingo Kids’ only brush with fame.

All these ads put me in mind of one more. It doesn’t feature OJ but it has some athletes who didn’t murder their wives- OOPS! I mean athletes who also had great careers and it seemed to be on the back of every comic book from when I was five years old until I was about 18. To me this is the archetypical comic book ad. While The Insult that Made a Man Out of Mac is a true classic, and who can forget Sea Monkeys and cardboard submarines, this is what I think of when I think of comic books.

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Imponderable #22: Heber City Utah

21 Oct

October 21. 2011

This may just be a legal term but he was booked for “investigation of failure to stop.” What is there to investigate? Isn’t he being booked for “failure to stop”? He isn’t being booked for an investigation, is he? This is why I hate lawyers.

Anyway, this story just bugs me. It is pretty funny on the face of it, but that quote by the Deputy Sheriff sits wrong with me. “He’d had a bad morning and wasn’t stopping for the cops. It was nothing more than that.”

I suppose he means that the driver wasn’t fleeing the scene of a crime, that there was no bank robbery in progress, no one got murdered, etc, and this is just no big deal.

Here is how I see it. A man has a bad morning, is in a bad mood, and speeds way over the limit. He ignores the police’s order to pull over, keeps going, and gets so angry that he calls the police department to tell them to leave him alone, and then his father to complain about the cops. He is not well thought out. So the angry and distraught driver is speeding and making calls on his cell phone and ignoring the police and this is no big deal?

Would Deputy Sheriff Rigby feel the same way if the driver plowed into his daughter’s car? This driver was distraught, distracted, and speeding. OK, I get that this is not a case for the Major Crimes Unit, but if I were driving on the road with that guy it would be a big deal to me. Take it a little more seriously, Wasatch County PD.

But there is on thing missing from the article.

Why isn’t this man undergoing psychiatric evaluation?

The question is Imponderable.

But maybe they are just more laid back in Utah.

And feel free to add your own “was he driving a white Bronco?” joke.

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