Today’s Imponderable comes from the world of news radio. This was heard on the venerable 1010 WINS of New York.
This is a legitimate story about research that shows that losing weight is linked to an improvement in memory. That’s all well and good, but a little research of my own brought me to articles as old as 2011, leading me to wonder what 1010 WINS defines as “breaking news.” I expect them to break in with a special report on the capture of the Unibomber any time now.
But my real problem isn’t with the news, it is on the reporting. They quoted unnamed “researchers” as saying
“how can people lose weight if they don’t remember that they’ve eaten?”
At this point, I would like tell you the totally true fact that about seven years ago I looked into getting a job at 1010 WINS as a news writer and I was told that not only were there no openings, they only had one writer. I know I could have done a much better job than the guy who wrote this story.
Is weight gain due to the fact that people simply forget that they’ve eaten? Is that why I ate two Thanksgiving dinners last year, I simply forgot the first meal of turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, and gravy so I had a second one because I was worried that I hadn’t had dinner yet? And that must explain why I binge ate a whole bag of Oreos last week. After I ate each cookie, I simply forgot that I ate it, so by the time I got to the end of the bag I was convinced that I only ate one cookie and was totally flummoxed about how a brand new bag could be empty after only one Oreo.
Is being overweight simply due to “food amnesia”? No.
Does 1010 WINS have a clue about reporting? The question is Imponderable.
And yes, I am totally coining the phrase “food amnesia.”
From the celebrity wing of Mr. Blog’s Tepid Ride, I present this Classic Repost in honor of Bruce Vilanch. Some may wonder why I chose February 27th to honor Mr. Vilanch. To them I respond, there is no bad time to honor Bruce Vilanch.
Sasquatch. Yeti. Abominable Snowman. Skunk Ape. Bruce Vilanch.. Legends of unknown and unexplained tall and hairy ape-like hominids have been reported around the world. Even a short list is a lot to type:
Could this be the Canadian Nuk-luk?
Almas – Mongolia Amomongo – Philippines Ban-manush – Bangladesh Barmanou – Afghanistan and Pakistan Batutut – Vietnam Bigfoot – North America Chuchunya – Siberia Fear liath – Scotland Fouke Monster – America Grassman – America Hibagon – Japan Mande Barung – India Mapinguari – South America Momo the Monster – America Nuk-luk – Canada Orang Mawas – Malaysia Orang Pendek – Indonesia Skunk ape – America Yeren – China Yowie – Australia
Frankly, that’s too much territory. We’ll focus on Sasquatch. Why? Because I live in North America and that makes us neighbors. It would be very embarrassing if the Sasquatch decided to drop by unexpectedly, even more so if he didn’t exist.
Habitat
Native American lore is full of stories about creatures resembling descriptions of Sasquatch across the country. These giant ape-like people were supposedly here before the arrival of the Indians. They lived as one with nature. The Indians traded with them and respected their areas. Some even regarded the Sasquatch as gods. However, by the time the Europeans arrived, there was no trace of the Sasquatch. No explanation has yet been found for the Sasquatch’s disappearance, but it is worth noting that the in the native Hekawi language, “sasquatch” means “burgers.”
Sasquatch, or Bigfoot, can be found almost anywhere in the United States and Canada. They usually stay in remote wooded areas, though when around humans they try to blend into their surroundings. This Bigfoot was found at a monster truck rally.
However, not all Sasquatch are as patriotic and most do not display the flag.
Proponents of Sasquatch point to what they call the overwhelming proof: footprints, photos, films, audio recordings, and eyewitness accounts. Skeptics point to the facts that no one has captured a living Sasquatch, found a dead Sasquatch or the remains of a Sasquatch, and all the photos seem to be pretty bad fakes. Pro-Sasquatch supporters retort that we’ve yet to see the change President Obama promised but many still believe in that too.
The Patterson Film.
This is the most famous evidence of the Sasquatch. According to Roger Patterson, he was walking through the woods near his home in California when he saw what he believed to be a female Sasquatch walking through the growth. Grabbing his movie camera, he shot some of the most well known images of Bigfoot. The short film, less than two minutes in duration, has been analyzed more times than the Erin Andrews peephole video. Although most agree that the film was untouched, scientists were split. Some said the film was undoctored and showed a Sasquatch. Others said it was undoctored but showed a man in an ape suit. In 2006 a consensus was reached that film was real and untouched, but did not show either a Bigfoot or a man in an ape suit. It was Michael Moore.
Of course, the bigger mystery is, why was Roger Patterson stalking Michael Moore? Conspiracy theories abound, the most likely of which is that Patterson just became sick of Moore’s wacko nonsense.
What else do we know about the Sasquatch?
The Bigfoot is often misidentified. Commonly mistaken for it are bears, Chewbacca, and professional wrestlers.
Perhaps a potentially plausible primitive primate possibility?
Gigantopithecus
This was a giant primate that lived in China thousands of years ago. Somehow, it spread throughout the world and has become the basis of the Yeti, Sasquatch, Vilanch, etc legends. How did it do this without being seen? Beats me.
A final word.
Prof. Hubert J. Farnsworth: Bunk! Bunk, I say! Bring me a bag full of Bigfoot’s droppings or shut up! RangerPark: I have the droppings of someone who saw Bigfoot. (Futurama)
That sums up the Sasquatch debate as neatly as anything else I’ve heard.
Mr. Blog's Tepid Ride 
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