Tag Archives: al-Qaeda bike

American Chopper: Senior vs. Junior: Old Rivals

21 Nov

November  21, 2011

The next big made-up event starts this week as motorcycle builder and noted dirtbag Jesse James “challenges” both OCC and PJD. Jesse James must have a good agent. Lord knows he doesn’t have a good therapist. He’ll fit right in.

As has been covered extensively on this site for the last few weeks, PJD continues the 9/11 bike. For those of you who may have missed it, here it is again.

The build continues on the 9/11 bike throughout the show, but I feel like we all know how it comes out so forgive me if I skip the details.

OCC continues the al-Qaeda bike, also known as the Arabian Horse Bike. I haven’t seen anything this silly since Chavo Guerrero’s little stick pony.

This is what the "Arabian Horse Bike" reminds me of.

While OCC waits for parts for the horsey bike, they go to Grainger, a tool company, to get free stuff, shill for them, and plug. I mean get ideas for a bike. Noticeably absent on a trip to see the clients and get ideas for their bike is Jason Pohl, the OCC “drawer.” Hey, why would the guy who designs the bikes need to meet the clients and see what they sell?

Senior: “It is a complicated bike because Jason has pipes criss-crossing each other, and you can’t have pipes crossing each other because the bike will never run.” So Mike had to come up with a work-around. JEEZ JASON, learn something about bike building! It is your career!

Jason: “Hey I’m a horse! And I’m a gas tank!” Yeah, he said that at the unveil. The tank looks like a horse with a spike running through its head.

Enter Jesse James. He related some strange, curse-filled dream about him and Paul Senior fishing or something, it made no sense. Oh man, this guy is a wreck. He makes Mikey sound smart.

He compared the Teutuls to cake designers. They don’t make the batter, or mix the mix, they just decorate the cakes, the bikes. Yeah, a lot of people have said that, but look at this episode and say that about Paulie’s bike. You can’t. So of course Jesse James decided to send them pornographic cakes. If the effect he wanted was to make himself look like a tool,  he achieved his goal.

Is he still sober?

He said a lot of other things about Paulie and Senior, and a little of it made sense, and a lot of it sounded like he was stupid or high or both. I won’t comment on his bikes until I see the one he makes for the build-off, but I hope he builds better than he talks.

The producers had nothing important for Mikey to do this week so he conducted an investigation into the cake.

(Right about this point, I have to ask myself what happened to the show I used to love? Lousy horsey bikes? Jesse James and porno cakes? And more Jason Pohl? Where did this show go wrong?)

If you ever need a funny sound bite, get the clip of Mayor Bloomberg talking motorcycles.

 

NEXT WEEK
Get ready!
You won’t believe what’s coming!
It’s…..

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.

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…another clip show.
Seriously? Another one already? This is getting near bait and switch territory.

BEST PRANKS Nov. 28, 2011
Dummies come to life, spitballs fly and air horns blast in this behind-the-scenes special. But what’s a workplace without air-gun war, scooter jousting and helicopter drops?

American Chopper: Senior vs. Junior: Free Rick (for real this week)

14 Nov

November  7, 2011

The Discovery website is a mess. They are one week out of sync. So once again, here is the description of Free Rick.

FREE RICK
Nov. 14, 2011
Junior lands the biggest job of his  career when he is asked to build a bike inspired by the restoration of Ground  Zero in NYC. Senior secures a build for a wealthy foreigner and rumors fly at  both shops over Rick’s assumed discontent at OCC.

CLICK HERE TO SEE LAST WEEK’S COMMENTS ABOUT “FREE RICK.”

And now on with the new.

As we see in the opening, Mikey is cashing in with some Free Rick t-shirts and they look like he vomited paint on them. The picture looks like 20% Rick and 80% a drunken clown. Or Mikey. Who can tell?

Senior takes a call from an anonymous rich Middle Easterner who wants a custom bike with a horse theme. They are calling this the Arabian Horse Bike. With absolutely no evidence I am going to call this the al-Qaeda bike.

About 9 minutes in we get a glimpse of Jason’s design with a tank shaped like a horse’s head. I hope that changes because it looks totally stupid.

Nope, at 24 minutes in we see that it has not. It looks ridiculous. They are using horse shoes around the tires for the fender and it just looks cheesy.

Paulie and PJD visit Ground Zero and tour the (agonizingly slow) construction. They are going to build the 9/11 Memorial Bike which you can see above. Just as an aside, I see the Freedom Tower from my office, very close by. No matter what you feel about it or 9/11, ten years later and still no completed tower is a disgrace. Paulie was amazed by the view from halfway up the Freedom Tower. The original WTC was more impressive. OK, end of my soapbox.

Paulie is building some sort of new, never before seen frame for the Memorial Bike, so original that the frame builder had to be on site. They are bending and building a square-shaped tube for the frame, not round. It is also half the weight of a normal frame. The designer says he will never build a frame like that again, that it will remain totally unique. (We’ll see.)

And hey! Senior is making a funky frame this week too! What are the odds of that?

As I said with the OCC 9/11 (lawyer) bike, Senior did nothing to tie the bike’s theme into a memorial. Sure, it had some tribute painted on the rear, but that’s it. Paulie is working the buildings and the transportation hub into the design. You can debate how much or how little you like the final design, but clearly they put more effort and thought into it than OCC. And say what you will about Paulie being lazy in the past, he put a ton of hands-on work into this build.

But the big deal this week is that Senior pulls in Rick to talk about him possibly leaving and working for “someone else.” He’s heard the rumors of Rick being unhappy and wants to know what is going on. Nothing is going on.

“I work here. Things are good.”

End of story. Seriously, did anyone really think Rick was leaving? Was there ever a chance? No, there was not.

Mikey unveils his newest “art,” free Rick t-shirts. Not only do they look like crap, but in the background his art looks like third-grade finger paintings. Seriously. That is no joke. The shirts “seemed to be a really big hit with Vinnie and Paulie.” Ya think?
People on the street seemed to like them too. But of course, they were on camera and the shirts were free. What else would they say? Mikey also mumbled something about the money for the shirts going to charity. He didn’t seem that well thought out.

Senior, who claims to not care about what Paulie does, sits down to watch a video from PJD and amazingly, he doesn’t totally run it down. And much as he says what Paulie does doesn’t matter to his business, he decides to make his own video.

Oh, I mean Discovery showed Senior Paulie’s video and told Senior to make his own video. Sorry about that. Got it right this time.

And later on, he actually said “PJD builds a good bike.” OK, something is off here.

And for you Cody fans, it has been 10 years since he first started at OCC. Wow. Paulie offerd him a full-time job and before the words were out of Paulie’s mouth – seriously, I mean it- Cody said “sure!’

Do any of you know what is happening with V-Force? Cody had been working with Vinnie. Is that business still happening?

NEXT WEEK:

OLD RIVALS
Nov. 14, 2011
A three-way build-off is announced  and contender Jesse James throws down the gauntlet by sending vulgar cakes to  OCC and PJD. OCC works on two bikes and Junior unveils the biggest build of his  career at Ground Zero in NYC.

Jesse James. Another guy with a sterling reputation. I guess being a jerk is a bike builder thing.

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