Tag Archives: horses

American Chopper: Senior vs. Junior: Free Rick (for real this week)

14 Nov

November  7, 2011

The Discovery website is a mess. They are one week out of sync. So once again, here is the description of Free Rick.

Nov. 14, 2011
Junior lands the biggest job of his  career when he is asked to build a bike inspired by the restoration of Ground  Zero in NYC. Senior secures a build for a wealthy foreigner and rumors fly at  both shops over Rick’s assumed discontent at OCC.


And now on with the new.

As we see in the opening, Mikey is cashing in with some Free Rick t-shirts and they look like he vomited paint on them. The picture looks like 20% Rick and 80% a drunken clown. Or Mikey. Who can tell?

Senior takes a call from an anonymous rich Middle Easterner who wants a custom bike with a horse theme. They are calling this the Arabian Horse Bike. With absolutely no evidence I am going to call this the al-Qaeda bike.

About 9 minutes in we get a glimpse of Jason’s design with a tank shaped like a horse’s head. I hope that changes because it looks totally stupid.

Nope, at 24 minutes in we see that it has not. It looks ridiculous. They are using horse shoes around the tires for the fender and it just looks cheesy.

Paulie and PJD visit Ground Zero and tour the (agonizingly slow) construction. They are going to build the 9/11 Memorial Bike which you can see above. Just as an aside, I see the Freedom Tower from my office, very close by. No matter what you feel about it or 9/11, ten years later and still no completed tower is a disgrace. Paulie was amazed by the view from halfway up the Freedom Tower. The original WTC was more impressive. OK, end of my soapbox.

Paulie is building some sort of new, never before seen frame for the Memorial Bike, so original that the frame builder had to be on site. They are bending and building a square-shaped tube for the frame, not round. It is also half the weight of a normal frame. The designer says he will never build a frame like that again, that it will remain totally unique. (We’ll see.)

And hey! Senior is making a funky frame this week too! What are the odds of that?

As I said with the OCC 9/11 (lawyer) bike, Senior did nothing to tie the bike’s theme into a memorial. Sure, it had some tribute painted on the rear, but that’s it. Paulie is working the buildings and the transportation hub into the design. You can debate how much or how little you like the final design, but clearly they put more effort and thought into it than OCC. And say what you will about Paulie being lazy in the past, he put a ton of hands-on work into this build.

But the big deal this week is that Senior pulls in Rick to talk about him possibly leaving and working for “someone else.” He’s heard the rumors of Rick being unhappy and wants to know what is going on. Nothing is going on.

“I work here. Things are good.”

End of story. Seriously, did anyone really think Rick was leaving? Was there ever a chance? No, there was not.

Mikey unveils his newest “art,” free Rick t-shirts. Not only do they look like crap, but in the background his art looks like third-grade finger paintings. Seriously. That is no joke. The shirts “seemed to be a really big hit with Vinnie and Paulie.” Ya think?
People on the street seemed to like them too. But of course, they were on camera and the shirts were free. What else would they say? Mikey also mumbled something about the money for the shirts going to charity. He didn’t seem that well thought out.

Senior, who claims to not care about what Paulie does, sits down to watch a video from PJD and amazingly, he doesn’t totally run it down. And much as he says what Paulie does doesn’t matter to his business, he decides to make his own video.

Oh, I mean Discovery showed Senior Paulie’s video and told Senior to make his own video. Sorry about that. Got it right this time.

And later on, he actually said “PJD builds a good bike.” OK, something is off here.

And for you Cody fans, it has been 10 years since he first started at OCC. Wow. Paulie offerd him a full-time job and before the words were out of Paulie’s mouth – seriously, I mean it- Cody said “sure!’

Do any of you know what is happening with V-Force? Cody had been working with Vinnie. Is that business still happening?


Nov. 14, 2011
A three-way build-off is announced  and contender Jesse James throws down the gauntlet by sending vulgar cakes to  OCC and PJD. OCC works on two bikes and Junior unveils the biggest build of his  career at Ground Zero in NYC.

Jesse James. Another guy with a sterling reputation. I guess being a jerk is a bike builder thing.

February News Roundup- Animal Edition

23 Feb

February 23, 2011



Mr. Blog to Mock Animal Headlines Worldwide


I find this very prudent on the side of Australia. Much like atomic testing awakened Godzilla, and an erupting volcano brought Rodan out of hibernation, Cyclone Yasi could potentially bring a flock of giant birds to terrorize Australia. The death and horror would be devastating, and who would dare walk under a tree again?  However, experts warn that the effects upon the country’s statues and parked cars could be far, far worse.


There are times in the writing of this blog when I simply step back and wonder if I am the last sane man. This is one of those times. Never in my life have I linked the words “sexy” and “animals.” Not only do I have to wonder about what type of person would, and not only do I worry about the person who thought to put them together in an exhibit, but I think I would stay far, far away from anyone who would go to see a “sexy animal exhibit.” OK, I like my cat as much as the next guy (as long as the next guy is not going to that sexy animal exhibit) and I think my cat is cute, but that is as far as it goes. I don’t imagine my little Fluffy giving me a come-hither look, nor do I interpret her licking of herself as anything but an attempt to get clean.

On the other hand, I am sure that the writer of that headline has a great sense of humor. “Gorilla Stud”? Inspired.


It seems like gorillas are not the only simians with smoldering sex appeal. It looks like someone finally snagged that longtime bachelor, Dr. Zaius. What else would you expect? He has power and influence, and owns most of the vast banana plantations around Ape City.

The happy couple met online through J-Date, the Jewish singles dating website. According to his profile, Dr. Zaius likes long walks in the park, sunny days, scientific suppression, and keeping holy secrets. His dislikes include smokers and talking humans.

Mrs. Zaius (nee Yetta Bronstein) likes bananas and playing on her tire swing.

Dr. Zaius in his J-Date profile picture.


This is what happens when you start with a sexy animals exhibit. Things just get out of control. I was always suspicious about what went on between Wilbur and Mr. Ed, especially the shows where Mr. Ed would wear a wig.


Now the preceding story makes sense.

What makes an animal unattractive to other animals? Why are these poor creatures left out of the sexy animals exhibition? Alligators are not by any stretch one of nature’s cuter animals, so what makes one less attractive than another? Is there an alligator equivalent of the Miss America contest? Do the alligators wear one-piece swimsuits and blather about how they would end world hunger while showing off their juggling talents?

All that headline proves is that the animal kingdom is no better than us. Ugly guys do not marry the prom queen.

Sorry boys, she’s taken.


Yes, of course, because not only do sharks hear exactly the way humans hear, and not only does the water do nothing at all to distort the music, but it is a proven scientific fact that creatures of the sea are powerless against the tones of Barry White. This is why Steven Spielberg is a lousy moviemaker. Had Roy Schieder simply played “I am Qualified to Satisfy You” the shark would have headed out to sea to find another shark and Jaws would have had a happy ending. As would the shark.


Now this makes perfect sense. Just release some mice in the airports and the terrorists would be so scared they’d jump up on the chairs, lift their skirts like 1950’s TV housewives and thus expose the bombs they had hidden under their clothes. Perfect! This puts homeland security in a whole new light. Why muck about with full-body scanners, radiation detectors, and all those security guards when a short trip to the pet shop would be so much simpler and cheaper? Someone call the FAA because I think those scientists are on to something.

%d bloggers like this: