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In Honor of the Great State of Virginia

9 Feb

February 10, 2019

It seems like the state of Virginia is in a state of chaos nowadays.

First, Governor Ralph Northam was found to have posed in blackface in his med school yearbook.

Next, his Lt. Governor, Justin Fairfax, has been accused of sexual assault and rape.

Then, Attorney General Mark Herring, third in line for Governor, admitted that he too had appeared in blackface at a party in the 80’s.

WTF is up with Virginia Democrats?

Allan Keyes was way ahead of the curve. In this post from 2016, Allan takes us back to a time when Archie Bunker appeared in blackface. And as big a racist as he was, even Archie Bunker was embarrassed to wear blackface. 

Thus proving that Virginia Democrats are bigger racists than Archie Bunker. QED.  

From November 19, 2016

keyes
Hey, I’m back!
Now I know, after reading that sentence, several questions come to mind:
-Where ya been?
-Who are you again?
-How quickly till you go away?

Anyway, the other day, Baby Girl Keyes (NOTE: Not her real name) was dressed very fashionably in an outfit that featured pants covered with all of the Disney princesses.

Disney Princesses

Awww…

She was her usual self, racing around as fast as her hands and feet could carry her, yelling like a lunatic (LIKE FATHER LIKE DAUGHTER!) when she went very calm and still. Which is never a good sign with her. Well now…turns out the kid took one of those diaper-bursting monster dumps that went all the way up her back and down her legs. But as I help her up to run her to the changing table (read: cardboard box covered in newspapers) the only thing I could really notice was all the faces of those Disney princesses were slowly turning brown.

Ewww...

Ewww…

It was hilarious – all these princesses starting to look like Archie Bunker in blackface putting on a minstrel show. (All in the Family season 6 episodes 14 and 15, Birth of The Baby parts 1 and 2. What, you thought I made that up?) In that episode, his friends at the lodge decided that it would be a great! Really Great! Idea to put on a mistral show.

Archie Bunker, noted racist, archenemy of George Jefferson, he who thought George Washington Carver was our first President’s butcher, even HE knew that putting on a minstrel show and wearing blackface was a bad idea. He was forced to do it or get kicked out of the lodge. And of course, this was the very night that his daughter went into labor so he showed up in the hospital painted and wearing a ridiculous sparkly suit even the Temptations wouldn’t wear. 

 

archie-1

archie-3

archie-4

fat-guy-in-whie-face-reverse-archie-with-balloon

archie-the-fat-black-rapist

blackface-bunker-disapproves

NOTE: These images are, of course, ridiculous, and if anyone is offended, just remember that this is Archie Bunker and if anyone was not a role model and didn’t deserve to emulated, it was him.

Plus, this is a post about baby poop and stains. Don’t look for political or racial discourse here.

But if you do, here’s your takeaway: Archie Bunker is now qualified to be Governor of Virginia.

 

 

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My Review of Star Wars: Tarkin, by James Luceno

25 Jan

January 25, 2019

In Star Wars, Grand Moff Tarkin was played by Peter Cushing. He’s easily my favorite character, more villainous in the film than Darth Vader. He’s also played by one of my favorite actors, so when this book came out I went against my better judgement and read a Star Wars novel. I’m glad I did.

I give Tarkin 5 stars, but bear in mind, this 5 star rating is not the same 5 stars I give Flowers for Algernon. This is 5 stars as far as Star Wars books go, a totally different scale. Flowers for Algernon is a triumph of literature. This is a good read.

I generally dislike Star Wars novels. This one, though, breaks the mold. It is more sci-fi than fantasy, ignoring all the Jedi mumbo-jumbo nonsense that other books get bogged down in. In fact, being from the bad guy’s point of view, this has a nicely negative view of the Jedi. It reads more like the old Alan Dean Foster novels, like Splinter of the Mind’s Eye or the original Han Solo novels. It bridges the gap to the New Hope era, disposing of The Clone Wars and entering the better era of Star Wars. If  you need a movie reference point, consider this as happening just before Rogue One.

Peter Cushing

Some reviewers don’t care for the plot, which they dismiss as Tarkin and Vader chasing around some random disposable rebels. They miss the point. This book is all about the backstory. You learn a lot about Tarkin and what molded and motivates him. You also learn a bit about The Emperor and Vader too. The main plot is really just the skeleton that the meat of the backstory hangs on. This is a character study / biography of Grand Moff Tarkin, and as such it works. The novel also explores the relationship between Tarkin and Vader, and for all those who wonder why Vader would take orders from anyone besides the Emperor, let alone someone who isn’t even a force user, this book explains.

The writing is also well done. In fact, just compare it to the two excerpts of novels by other authors that follow it in the paperback edition. Not only is neither the least bit interesting or original, but their writing is clearly not as good. James Luceno may be the only Star Wars writer today worth reading.

 

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