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Not-So-Imponderable #1: The [CENSORED] From China

29 Jun

June 29, 2014

Before we begin, a notice from The Editors and Staff of Mr. Blog’s Tepid Ride:

nsfw

I often get on Japan for being, let’s face it, totally weird. Sexbots, sexbots, sexbots everywhere! Now before you hop on a jet to the Land of The Rising C-, no, no I won’t go there, beware! The following product was invented across the sea in China.

TADA!

Hey, baby. Come here often?

Hey, baby. Come here often?

This, ladies and gentlemen (but mostly gentlemen), is the world’s first fully automatic hands free sperm extractor.

Or as I call it, the Roboblow. And yes, it does just what you think it does.

The effortless machine features a massage pipe that can be adjusted to suit the height of the user. All the gentleman has to do is plug in the frequency, amplitude and temperature and off they go. It’s also fitted with a small screen for those feeling uninspired.
The reason this is not an Imponderable is that this was inevitable. Sure so far it is only installed in hospitals, but can you think of a better machine to put in a bar? This will totally change the dating scene forever.

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Locally Single, Globally Pathetic

23 Jun

June 23, 2014

Pity the local single guy. He tries, oh he tries. But not hard enough. His car is not up to speed, his clothes are not quite as clean as they could be, and his choice of music not the most romantic. Is it any wonder this man is still single? Here’s another batch of local single guy tweets.

lsg

A rose on The Bachelorette? He’d be lucky sit on a stool on Bar Rescue.

But like I said, he tries. It is even possible his pants won’t have any ketchup stains this week. After all, he thinks he might do the laundry.

Follow the tweets on this site in the sidebar or @ bmj2k on twitter.