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Imponderable#122: The Driveways of Harris County

18 May

May 18, 2014

This is a story of one man’s dedication. It is a testament to determination and the human spirit. It is also, as one woman is quoted in the article, a tale of a creep-crapper and revenge poop.

serial

Harris County has an interesting definition of “terrorizing.” If only Al-Qaeda had stuck to pooping on lawns, this world would be a very different place.

This should be a slam dunk for the police. This guy is leaving tons of DNA evidence at the scene of every crime.

Meanwhile, based on the description of an older, balding Mexican with a mustache, I think the police should haul the Frito Bandito in for questioning ASAP.

frito bandito

After all, if he’s eating all those Fritos, I’m not surprised he’s been pooping on driveways. Heck, he’s probably pooping all over town with all those salty corn chips in his system.

How could a human being do this? (Unless he’s drunk. Then I totally get it.)
The question is Imponderable.

 

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Imponderable #121: A Parking Lot in Yelm, Washington

22 Apr

April 22, 2014

 

In the Spring a young man’s fancy lightly turns to thoughts of love. – Alfred Lord Tennyson 

All human males were as fascinated with cars as they were with breasts. – Anita Clenney 

You don’t know the half of it. – Mr. Blog.

 

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*Sigh*  Aren’t you glad you subscribe to this blog?

Anyway, this really is a touching story, somehow, I think. Consider other tales of man/car love: Michael Knight and KITT, Al Bundy and his Dodge, the Duke boys and the General Lee. In not one of those cases did the car reciprocate. Bo and Luke never got flowers from their car, no matter how nicely they polished the bumpers. But this guy? “When I hold Vanilla [his special lovemobile] in my arms there’s a powerful energy that comes from her in response to that…” Really? Somehow I doubt that. Personally, I think he’s inhaled too much exhaust.

How will Cinnamon and Splash, his spurned lovers, deal with this?
The question is Imponderable.

 

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