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Imponderable #120: The Sewers of Lawton, Oklahoma

20 Mar

March 20, 2014

In these tough economic times, every penny counts. And if that penny happens to be a 20 dollar bill, then it counts 2000 times. So when a man in Lawton, Oklahoma, dropped $20, it was entirely logical that he would want to get it back, even if it meant that he had to climb down a storm drain to get it. That’s where the story starts to get good.

sewer

I’ve never been in a storm drain. In fact, ever since I saw Pennywise in It (when you’re dead you’ll float!) I make sure to stay far, far away from sewer drains. My other experience regarding sewers comes from the movie Them!

 

So if I dropped $20 into a storm drain, would I go after it? No way, Jose. The water in those drainage pipes? It isn’t exactly clean. There’s a reason that Lawton man came out of water-filled sewer system disoriented and dehydrated. If that was the NYC sewer system, he’d also be covered in boils and CHUD bites.

If you dropped $20 into a storm drain, what would you do?

 

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What Will I Do With All That Money?

9 Feb

February 9, 2014

I’m going to have surgery next week.

What does this mean to you?

  • Possibly less blogs
  • Possibly better blogs due to influence of painkillers
  • Probably same old same old. Sorry, fans. Maybe even more.

What does this mean to me?

  • Possibly less blogging
  • Possibly less angry letters from irate readers who love Allan Keyes
  • Lego

Lego! Yes, Lego! I decided that during my 2-3 weeks of recovery, I am going to jump into the world of Lego and build things. I’m going to start with The Palace Cinema.

pc1

pc3

Looks great, huh? I’ll be sure to post pictures of my final build, missing pieces, broken Legos and all.

But where to buy it? I am medically not allowed to drive for the next month so going to the Lego store is out of the question. I have no choice but to shop online and contribute to the collapse of brick and mortar stores. And where does America go to destroy Mom and Pop stores? Amazon. Here’s what they charge:

lego

Four cents? “You Save: $0.04”? REALLY? That’s it? FOUR CENTS? What the heck am I going to do with four freakin’ cents?

I could:

  • Uh
  • Um
  • Yeah….

So I figured I’d check out Lego.com. It is their product, their site, less overhead, so maybe I can get a better price.

pc2

Nope. Not a penny cheaper. In fact, there goes my four cents. I guess it comes down to shipping. With Amazon Prime I get free shipping. Let’s see what they charge for shipping here.

pc4

Hey, not bad!

So here’s what it comes down to:

Order from Amazon: Save 4 cents, get it faster with 2-day shipping.

Order from Lego: Pay 4 more cents, get it a couple of days later, get a free Lego.

There is no choice here: I’m ordering from Lego. Since for a couple of days after the operation I’ll be in a pain-killer fog, the extra days don’t matter. And a free Lego? Totally worth the 4 cents.

Sorry Amazon. My 2 cents says that your 4 cents isn’t enough to get me to order from you.

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