Tag Archives: Pennywise

Imponderable #120: The Sewers of Lawton, Oklahoma

20 Mar

March 20, 2014

In these tough economic times, every penny counts. And if that penny happens to be a 20 dollar bill, then it counts 2000 times. So when a man in Lawton, Oklahoma, dropped $20, it was entirely logical that he would want to get it back, even if it meant that he had to climb down a storm drain to get it. That’s where the story starts to get good.


I’ve never been in a storm drain. In fact, ever since I saw Pennywise in It (when you’re dead you’ll float!) I make sure to stay far, far away from sewer drains. My other experience regarding sewers comes from the movie Them!


So if I dropped $20 into a storm drain, would I go after it? No way, Jose. The water in those drainage pipes? It isn’t exactly clean. There’s a reason that Lawton man came out of water-filled sewer system disoriented and dehydrated. If that was the NYC sewer system, he’d also be covered in boils and CHUD bites.

If you dropped $20 into a storm drain, what would you do?





April News Roundup

15 Apr

April 15, 2011



Mr. Blog to Mock Headlines Nationwide


That is cool. I should try that sometime. No more of this “Mister” stuff, I’d be Commissioner Blog. Wow! That does wonders for the ego. “Commissioner Blog’s Tepid”- no, “Commissioner Blog’s Wild Ride.” Yeah, that’s what an empty title and no responsibility can do for a man.


Was a comment really necessary? I’d rather leave it to my imagination.

I imagine that he is wearing that mask to hide the burns and scars from the fire that took the lives of his family, yet he chose an evil clown mask as an ironic commentary on the innocence of the circus, an innocence that was hideously ripped away from his children. It both hides and expresses the pain he feels within.

Yeah, that’s it.

Actual picture of James Maynard


From the “The Correction Is Funnier than the Original Article” Department:


Our Readers Write In.

Normally I’d have taken out the name of the writer, but since she intended it for publication it is fair game.

I think, maybe, possibly, this is intended as a joke. Be that as it may, may I present it with an award?

Linda Goldstein, I hereby present to you,


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