Tag Archives: Them!

Imponderable #120: The Sewers of Lawton, Oklahoma

20 Mar

March 20, 2014

In these tough economic times, every penny counts. And if that penny happens to be a 20 dollar bill, then it counts 2000 times. So when a man in Lawton, Oklahoma, dropped $20, it was entirely logical that he would want to get it back, even if it meant that he had to climb down a storm drain to get it. That’s where the story starts to get good.

sewer

I’ve never been in a storm drain. In fact, ever since I saw Pennywise in It (when you’re dead you’ll float!) I make sure to stay far, far away from sewer drains. My other experience regarding sewers comes from the movie Them!

 

So if I dropped $20 into a storm drain, would I go after it? No way, Jose. The water in those drainage pipes? It isn’t exactly clean. There’s a reason that Lawton man came out of water-filled sewer system disoriented and dehydrated. If that was the NYC sewer system, he’d also be covered in boils and CHUD bites.

If you dropped $20 into a storm drain, what would you do?

 

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Oh Man, They Netflixed Me Again! (Netflix 4)

11 Aug

August 11, 2011

Time for another round of “what the heck is Netflix thinking?” This is the game show where we try to find the often incomprehensible links between movie suggestions that Netflix has for me. The prize is usually nothing more than a headache.

Let’s begin.

I certainly enjoyed Terror of Mechagodzilla, and Gojira is a logical suggestion. Problem is, this is “The Original Japanese Masterpiece” and only the recut American version of the film features Raymond Burr as reporter “Steve Martin.” He adds little to the movie but I always get a laugh when someone calls him “Steve Martin.” Halloween is stretching it a bit, but since they both fall, broadly speaking, in the horror genre I can see it. But The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly? Other than Godzilla being both bad and ugly, and in later films turning good, I don’t see it. One is a Japanese Kaiju and the other is a Spaghetti Western. One stars a man in a rubber suit and one stars Clint Eastwood as The Man with No Name. Hmm. Both are genre pictures, both have famous characters in the lead. That’s it? They may as well have suggested Steamboat Willie with Mickey Mouse.

Gunsmoke because I watched Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home? Well, Gunsmoke is a western TV series, and Star Trek IV is based on a TV series that was pitched as “Wagon Train to the stars.” See how simple this is? And by “simple” I really mean “silly.”

I can see the link between The Twilight Zone and Back to the Future, but what do those have in common with Cheers? Broadly speaking, Cheers and Twilight Zone are both TV shows, but that would be like suggesting Sex and the City to a fan of Leave it to Beaver (if you could find one.) And Rocky? Rocky is set in Philadelphia, Cheers is set in Boston, both are historic East Coast cities. Why wouldn’t Rocky fans love Cheers? They have so much else in common, right? Right? But Back to the Future and Cheers? Bif Tannen is as dumb as Woody Boyd. Hey, that’s the best I can do.

So what’s the link between The Creature from the Black Lagoon, Them!, Gunsmoke, and The Odd Couple? Before you scream “absolutely nothing,” notice they were all suggested because I enjoyed Dirty Harry. Dirty Harry and Gunsmoke I can see, and Harry himself, Clint Eastwood, had a bit part in the Creature sequel flick, Revenge of the Creature. As for Them, all I can say is that they shoot a lot guns at the ants. But The Odd Couple? The best I can do is that one of their poker buddies is a cop named Murray and Dirty Harry is a cop. And honestly, I’m feeling pretty good that I came up with anything, even something as tiny and meaningless as that.

Eventually I’ll be back with another round of “what the heck is Netflix thinking?” Hopefully by then I’ll have a printable answer for this:

For more Netflix oddness, check out

I’ve Been Netflixed!

They’ve Netflixed Me Again!

The Tepid Zombie: What Am Netflix Thinking?

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