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Allan Keyes: Gamer Without Game

10 Feb

February 10, 2014

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So I wanted to do some blogging about some gaming that seemed to have become a thing: http://www.theregister.co.uk/2014/01/31/eve_online_erects_mashedup_memorial_to_biggest_space_fight_in_history/

A single missed micropayment sparked off an epic interstellar battle on EVE Online that was so costly the developers have decided to erect a permanent monument to the conflict.

CCP Games, the Icelandic firm behind the massively multiplayer online role-playing game that has over 500,000 subscribers, said the battle in the B-R5RB sector of the Immensea game-space region had dwarfed anything seen in the game’s 11-year history. Ships valued at $330,000 have been destroyed in a 21-hour battle in which 7,548 gamers destroyed assets that had taken years to accumulate.

I say I WANTED to do a blog, because this is so effing tiring just reading it. 7,500 gamers participated in a 21-hour battle????  And here I thought that the time me and my two best (only) friends had that 3 hour ColecoVision blowout while my parents went shopping for my orthopedic shoes was EPIC.  What the hell do I know I suppose??? Not that I know about these online games – I’m strictly a console fanboy, living on the Gears of War/Call of Duty highway.

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I have to give some of these guys credit – in this game, it seems that it takes months/years to build up your coalition, control your territory, build all those ships. And then to basically have it ALL flushed away if you’re on the losing side….have to say it, these guys had some set of brass balls. I mean, what do you think the losers did? Hang themselves? Quit the game? I mean, I barely had the patience to level up on the Intellivision version of Burger Time, and when I died, I threw a huge glass of Hi-C at the TV.

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Or maybe it was the collective “ah, fuck this – I’m getting bored” of thousands? I mean, who hasn’t spent lots of time building something up and then just tearing it down to shit because you finally, irrevocably lost interest in it?

But what I really want to know – 21 hours? DUDE.  Who lasted the entire battle and what did you do when it was time to go to the bathroom????

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Target: Me

7 Feb

February 7, 2014

According to the news, the government has been using the IRS to target it’s enemies, nearly of all of which have committed the crime of not drinking the President’s Kool-Aid. Well, I’m not sure what I did wrong. Made one too many Obamacare jokes? Offended some IRS official who looks like The Fat Guy eating a cheeseburger and took it personally? I don’t know but I was just audited. ME! Mr. Blog! Who could be less of a threat to our nation than I am? I am the Teddy Bear of Bloggers©.

auditOk, well, it wasn’t the IRS and it wasn’t the Federal Gov’t, it was the NY State Department of Taxation. (But I still blame Obama! It’s easy and trendy!) I got a thick letter in the mail telling me I owe them $81 from 2010. It was about 8 pages, 5 of which were nearly incomprehensible and 2 of which were totally incomprehensible. The other page had my name and address, which they got right. So how did they calculate that I owe $81 dollars? I have no idea. There is a chart which shows my 2008 information (consisting of amount owed:$0, amount paid:$0, penalty:$5, and balance:$0) and compared it to my 2010 information, which seemed to be filled with random numbers and Greek characters, and the final box said balance:$81. So somehow, by a seemingly random confluence of my 2008 taxes, my 2010 taxes (what happened to 2009? No idea.) and a lot of Justin Bieber’s pot, NY State figures I owe then some money.

Mayor DiBlasio made a campaign pledge to “tax the hell out of the rich for no reason” and it sure looks like he’s keeping it. (It is generally known that I am among the richest 1% of bloggers.)

I’d love to contest this but that would mean finding my 20o8 and 2010 tax returns and actually trying to read them, so maybe it’ll be easier to just pay up. The letter came with a friendly threat that I have about 10 days to pay. It would have been 30 days but the date on the letter was almost 3 weeks old. (I’m sure the Post Office was in on it too.)

So thanks a lot New York! (And you too Obama! I know your hand is in this somewhere!)  This is just another reason to move out of this overtaxed and pothole-filled working man’s nightmare.

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