Tag Archives: probe

Target: Me

7 Feb

February 7, 2014

According to the news, the government has been using the IRS to target it’s enemies, nearly of all of which have committed the crime of not drinking the President’s Kool-Aid. Well, I’m not sure what I did wrong. Made one too many Obamacare jokes? Offended some IRS official who looks like The Fat Guy eating a cheeseburger and took it personally? I don’t know but I was just audited. ME! Mr. Blog! Who could be less of a threat to our nation than I am? I am the Teddy Bear of Bloggers©.

auditOk, well, it wasn’t the IRS and it wasn’t the Federal Gov’t, it was the NY State Department of Taxation. (But I still blame Obama! It’s easy and trendy!) I got a thick letter in the mail telling me I owe them $81 from 2010. It was about 8 pages, 5 of which were nearly incomprehensible and 2 of which were totally incomprehensible. The other page had my name and address, which they got right. So how did they calculate that I owe $81 dollars? I have no idea. There is a chart which shows my 2008 information (consisting of amount owed:$0, amount paid:$0, penalty:$5, and balance:$0) and compared it to my 2010 information, which seemed to be filled with random numbers and Greek characters, and the final box said balance:$81. So somehow, by a seemingly random confluence of my 2008 taxes, my 2010 taxes (what happened to 2009? No idea.) and a lot of Justin Bieber’s pot, NY State figures I owe then some money.

Mayor DiBlasio made a campaign pledge to “tax the hell out of the rich for no reason” and it sure looks like he’s keeping it. (It is generally known that I am among the richest 1% of bloggers.)

I’d love to contest this but that would mean finding my 20o8 and 2010 tax returns and actually trying to read them, so maybe it’ll be easier to just pay up. The letter came with a friendly threat that I have about 10 days to pay. It would have been 30 days but the date on the letter was almost 3 weeks old. (I’m sure the Post Office was in on it too.)

So thanks a lot New York! (And you too Obama! I know your hand is in this somewhere!)  This is just another reason to move out of this overtaxed and pothole-filled working man’s nightmare.

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Space Jammed

17 Jul

July 17, 2013

Former New York Knicks player Baron Davis was abducted by aliens a few weeks ago. I’ll let him tell it in his own words.

“I was, um, on my way from Vegas here to L.A., I’m a little tired and s— and I see this light and I think it’s a big-a– truck. Then next thing you know, dude, like, I was in this f—— steel thing.”

It didn’t end there. In many abduction stories, there is a period of blackout and often the victim’s next memory would be heading home some hours later. Not so Davis. He recalls meeting “these f—— crazy-looking people” who were “half-human, half, like, f—–, ugly motherf——.”

In fact, Baron has some clear recollections of that evening. “Dude, they were poking me on my nose and s—. They were poking me on my nose and they were, like, looking me in my eyes. They had my hands like, tied up and the next thing you know, I was f—— in Montebello, dude, burning rubber on the way back to L.A. It was like four o’clock in the morning.”

Davis later recanted the story, claiming it was all a joke.

(http://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/baron-davis-abducted-aliens-article-1.1397660)

Judging from his outfit, I tend to believe it.

baron13n-2-web

 

 

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