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Kittens! Adorable fuzzy kittens!

9 Jul

 July 9, 2012

Did that title get your attention? Here is Allan Keyes and this time around I had to insert my own comments for balance.

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Kittens! Adorable fuzzy kittens! Everybody loves ‘em! Every time  I see a kewte kitten I just have to run over and pet it and play with it and dangle a piece of yarn in front of it (why yes I carry yarn with me, doesn’t everyone?)

Even Mr. Blog himself loves kittens. Why half of his hard drive is devoted to his favorite: THE LOLCATS:

MR. BTR: I HATE THE LOLCATS! I CAN’T STAND THEM! I AM DEVOTING TOMORROW’S BLOG TO HOW MUCH I HATE THEM! These are NOT from my hard drive!

(TAKEN FROM MR. BLOG’S PRIVATE  STASH:)

MR BTR: GAH! I HATE YOU ALLAN KEYES FOR PUTTING THIS CRAP ON MY SITE!

 (and NO, I’m not throwing the pic of the fat guy eating the cheeseburger up here either!)

MR. BTR: Don’t worry, I’ll take care of that for you.

Aren’t these the most adorable things you ever saw? The kitties are talking like people! (Related Simpsons quote: “”Look at Branford II! Isn’t that cute? He thinks he’s one of the Models, Inc.!”. There’s a Simpsons’ quote for everything, except maybe a colostomy)

MR. BTR: I looked. He’s right. That’s more of a South Park thing.

So for Mr. B’s birthday, I’m going to give him a gift:  Presenting the BLOCATS:

MR. BTR: This is NOT my birthday. For the record, I share my birthday with a notroious 18th Century British barrister.

FUN WITH TEH INTERNETS:   UGLY KITTENS

5:

Hmmm…..you dye this bad boy green and he looks like the Hulk:

 (Alternate line: “You neuter me. I claw out your jugular vein

4:

This one is a shame, because he’s ALMOST cute. He’s like Frank Stallone – almost legit, but not quite:

Consider the caption for this one to be a reader submission contest. Mr B. will pick the winner.

 MR. BTR: Thanks for the extra work, pal.

3:

“I can never haz luv because I look like lemur”   The one on the right is just scary. Look at those eyes. Imagine if you awoke at 5 in the morning to see that sitting on your chest, staring at you. Two words: “thunderclap coronary”

MR. BTR: You could have posted the exact same comment under the Stallone picture.

2:

“I haz no front teef because cats can’t use toofpaste”

I actually kind of like this little guy, because he puts me in mind of my FAVORITE tag team EVER, Demolition:

Classic Axe and Smash! No Crush allowed.

MR. BTR: The one on the left went on be The Repo Man.

Sigh.

I’m not joking either. These two were the first thing I thought of when I saw that pic. I lead a sad life…

And the #1 picture for UGLY KITTEN IS……………

“When I grow up, I can haz be on To Catch a Predator?”

 HAPPY BIRTHDAY MR. B!!!!

MR. BTR: You guys miss the Fat Guy this week? Don’t worry, I have your back. I present to you, the lolfatz!

The Saturday Comics: Alley Oop (2012)

7 Jul

July 7, 2012

The last time I checked in on Alley Oop I was convinced that he was ripping me off and I still stand by that ridiculous and utterly indefensible position. Check for yourself, I have complete proof that I came up with the concept of Caveman Astronaut long before it appeared in print. CLICK HERE TO SEE PROOF PERFECT THAT I AM THE CREATIVE FORCE HERE.

Meanwhile, let’s see what the poseur is up to now:

What the??? I will never complain about a slow-moving strip again. (Not until next week when I check in on Apt. 3G again. That strip is just plain weird. Come back next week, you’ll see.)

Sooo, what is going on here? “Home planet?” Isn’t it enough that these strangely hairless cavemen are wandering around the 21st Century (with 21st Century relationship issues) without dragging aliens into it too? And just when I got to the point of wondering when they would Wonmug or get off the pot, some other storyline in some other place and what I am assuming some other time starts up.

What the?

While I do understand that some readers have been with Alley Oop for years and we have popped into the middle of an ongoing story, but I also feel that there needs to be some accessibility for new readers.

Alley Oop? See you next year.