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I Ain’t Afraid Of No Ghosts

5 Dec

December 5, 2013

The Walking Dead is a great show, no doubt. But seriously, why are zombies so scary? They are slow so you outwalk them. They are easily beaten with a blow to the head. They are not stealthy, they are not sneaky, they are not silent. You can see them coming a mile away and you can just walk in the other direction. Even The Walking Dead focuses more on human threats than zombies.

Zombies have two things going for them. 1- There are a zillion of them and their ranks keep growing. 2- If you die you become one of them.

But that really only goes for the modern Romero zombies, the ones that George Romero created in Night of the Living Dead. I prefer the old White Zombie-type zombies (the old film with Bela Lugosi) or the kind in Hammer’s old Plague of the Zombies. Before Romero, zombies were generally animated corpses under the spell of a voodoo master. Even today in Haiti that’s a prevalent belief. There may be no creepier scene in filmdom than the sugar mill scene in White Zombie.

1:02 to 1:07 is my favorite part of the film.

If I had to be menaced by a supernatural horror, zombies are my pick. Werewolves are scarier- they are animals who can outrun and outhunt you, and tear you into bits with their claws and teeth. Imagine trying to fight a pack of rabid wolves. Can’t be done.

Vampires are badass too. (Not your shitty Twilight vampires, thank you very much.) They are smart and cunning, with animal instincts and deceptive human appearance. Depending on your preferred mythology, they can turn into bats or rats, or fog. They can control “base creatures” and hypnotize humans. True, like werewolves, they can’t come out during the day (sorry folks, they can’t) but the damage they can do at night is enough. The only thing in your advantage is that vampires are solitary. They have no real desire to create more vampires. Why? That’s just more competition. Vampires are smart.

Ghosts? Big deal. They can’t touch you. Poltergeists (literally translated as “rock throwing ghosts”) on the other hand, now that’s scary.

But zombies? I was a high school teacher. I saw enough of them zoned out in my classes.

zombie rebuttal

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11 Responses to “I Ain’t Afraid Of No Ghosts”

  1. zathra December 5, 2013 at 2:37 am #

    Also, zombies have no sense of personal hygiene & controlling BO. Not unlike the French. 🙂
    The term ” zombie ” is also used to refer to a mind – controlled person. Someone compared the Borg of Star Trek TNG to ” techno – zombies “.

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    • bmj2k December 5, 2013 at 9:15 am #

      Exactly, which is what the Haitian voodoo type pf zombies are- controlled by another with no will of their own.

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      • zathra December 5, 2013 at 9:29 am #

        They are, however, still technically alive, though. I’ve never been able to wrap my mind around how a dead person can be brought back to life PHYSICALLY, except – perhaps – by the use of ( tah, dah ! ) nanites / nano – technology. I’m not even going to bring the theological / philosophical aspects into it.

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        • bmj2k December 5, 2013 at 9:31 am #

          I find these much more interesting than Romero zombies because there is so much more mythology around them, like how they can be brought out of their trance by eating salt IIRC.

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          • zathra December 5, 2013 at 9:42 am #

            BTW, I read up on vampire lore – Early European, Germanic, Central European – & vampires, zombies & werewolves weren’t too different from each other. Vampires could wander about during the day, & prey upon the living, zombie – style, & they could change into wolves & other wild creatures. Just sayin’.

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            • bmj2k December 5, 2013 at 11:02 am #

              The unused first chapter of Dracula, “Dracula’s Guest,” has Dracula changing into a wolf. Some people mistake it for a werewolf story but it is Dracula who is the big wolf.

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              • zathra December 5, 2013 at 1:00 pm #

                I think it was awfully economical to consolidate the zombie, werewolf & vampire legends in folklore. Only with Bela Lugosi did we get sexy vampires. 🙂 No sexy zombies, though. 🙂

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                • bmj2k December 5, 2013 at 3:54 pm #

                  Hmm. Some weirdo necrophiliacs may disagree with you. 🙂

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                  • zathra December 5, 2013 at 4:17 pm #

                    Funny – I saw a youtube video from ” The Walking Dead ” series. They cast an extra – I think she was a model – as a ” walker ” & even in ” walker ” make – up, the lady was HOT ! I ** love ** that series. They’re not afraid to take risks.

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                    • bmj2k December 5, 2013 at 10:58 pm #

                      I am about 4 weeks behind, as usual.

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                    • zathra December 6, 2013 at 2:18 am #

                      The appearance of the ” hot zombie ” was in the 1st season or 2. I wonder how that looked on her resume’ ? 🙂

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