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Offline and Off Target

9 Dec

December 9, 2013

The House of Blog is in disarray.

No, I don’t mean there is any political intrigue going on between the Editors and Staff of Mr. Blog’s Tepid Ride, I mean that literally: My house is a mess.

I need some furniture. Target is not where I would normally go to look for a dresser, but it had a couple of things going for it: 1- it was cheap and 2- it was cheap. Now I know that when most people think of cheap furniture they think Ikea, but want a dresser whose name I can pronounce in case I need to call up customer service.

“Hello, Ikea? Hi, I bought a dresser the other day and it was missing some parts. I need a drawer, the top, and one of the sides.”
“Right ma’am.”
“Sir. I’m a sir.”
“Thank you ma’am. What model dresser did you buy?”
“Umm, it says ‘schnoor, um, flargeen, something,’ there’s a ‘o’ with a line through it, an umlaut…, er…..”

So Target was the way to go. In addition to cheap I am also lazy so I went online. There’s nothing like buying a piece of furniture you have to assemble yourself from a small picture online. This is what I found.


Currently unavailable online.
Not sold in stores.

Do these dressers exist? What are they doing here? I thought the point of Target’s website was to sell merchandise, not tempt and tease you with things you can’t buy.

And one of the phantom dressers has a price so secret they won’t even tell you what it is.

C’mon Target. Shape up.

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