Tag Archives: zombies

This Has To Be It! My Amazing Comic Book Idea

2 Jun

June 2, 2015

OK, I admit that I’ve had a, um, spotty track record in finding the Next Big Thing. I had no idea it would this hard to become the next Hollywood superstar producer/writer/director.

Let’s look back at my previous attempts at fame and glory but more importantly, fortune.

  • The sci-fi family epic Hamsterus! To this day I am not allowed within 100 feet of DreamWorks studios. What’s wrong with a touching film about the love between a young boy and his giant radioactive hamster? The last 35 times I asked Steven Spielberg all he said was “I have a restraining order against you!”
  • President Hobo. Wouldn’t a show about a homeless President be perfect for prime time? Even BET turned that one down.
  • Murderchimp. That was something or other about some kind of chimpanzee assassin. I’m not really sure what that was all about, but I did manage to get a rejection slip from every publisher in the English speaking world. And that includes even the self-publishing places. Here’s a direct quote from Kindle Self-Publishing: “Screw you and your stupid monkey.” For the record, Kindle Self-Publishing, Murderchimp isn’t a monkey, he is a chimp.
  • El Kabong was my idea to revive old time radio. It starred an invisible crime fighter who smashed guitars over criminal’s heads. Nobody was willing to buy it. No wonder radio is dying.

Well, that just leaves comic books, and I think that I have the perfect idea for a killer comic. And I plan to both write and draw it, despite having little talent at one and no talent at the other.

Here’s my pitch for…..

Dr. Ghost Zombie!

Doctor Bruin Z. Othello was your typical brain surgeon. He had money, fame, women, fancy jets, expensive cars, designer clothes, mansions in every city, his own fleet of ships, a pair of airlines, a pet puma and even a permanent apartment in the White House. Then one day as he was walking home from a charity Faberge Egg painting contest, he was fatally gunned down when he tried to stop a robbery in a bodega on the wrong side of the tracks.

Not wanting to go to Heaven, he stayed on Earth and fought crime as a poltergeist. However, one day, his arch-nemesis, The Doom Vulture, resurrected Doctor Bruin Z. Othello’s body as a zombie. Ghost Othello battled his own undead body until he was able to possess it and reclaim his physical form.

Now reunited and back among the living, sort of, Dr. Othello fights crime as the 2-in-1 crime fighter. When necessary, he can leave his body and fight as both a ghost and a zombie. The only drawback is that his body is still rotting, but the brilliant doctor is working on a cure.

There it is. What do you think? I am going to be famous!

ghost zombie 1

I Ain’t Afraid Of No Ghosts

5 Dec

December 5, 2013

The Walking Dead is a great show, no doubt. But seriously, why are zombies so scary? They are slow so you outwalk them. They are easily beaten with a blow to the head. They are not stealthy, they are not sneaky, they are not silent. You can see them coming a mile away and you can just walk in the other direction. Even The Walking Dead focuses more on human threats than zombies.

Zombies have two things going for them. 1- There are a zillion of them and their ranks keep growing. 2- If you die you become one of them.

But that really only goes for the modern Romero zombies, the ones that George Romero created in Night of the Living Dead. I prefer the old White Zombie-type zombies (the old film with Bela Lugosi) or the kind in Hammer’s old Plague of the Zombies. Before Romero, zombies were generally animated corpses under the spell of a voodoo master. Even today in Haiti that’s a prevalent belief. There may be no creepier scene in filmdom than the sugar mill scene in White Zombie.

1:02 to 1:07 is my favorite part of the film.

If I had to be menaced by a supernatural horror, zombies are my pick. Werewolves are scarier- they are animals who can outrun and outhunt you, and tear you into bits with their claws and teeth. Imagine trying to fight a pack of rabid wolves. Can’t be done.

Vampires are badass too. (Not your shitty Twilight vampires, thank you very much.) They are smart and cunning, with animal instincts and deceptive human appearance. Depending on your preferred mythology, they can turn into bats or rats, or fog. They can control “base creatures” and hypnotize humans. True, like werewolves, they can’t come out during the day (sorry folks, they can’t) but the damage they can do at night is enough. The only thing in your advantage is that vampires are solitary. They have no real desire to create more vampires. Why? That’s just more competition. Vampires are smart.

Ghosts? Big deal. They can’t touch you. Poltergeists (literally translated as “rock throwing ghosts”) on the other hand, now that’s scary.

But zombies? I was a high school teacher. I saw enough of them zoned out in my classes.

zombie rebuttal

%d bloggers like this: