Archive | 11:40 am

The Three Stooges in Twerk Jerks

10 Dec

December 11, 2013

Oh, how I wish I could travel back in time. Because if I could, I would totally make this Three Stooges short. Moe, Larry, Curley… and Miley???

Twerk Jerks

Picture it. The Stooges are sitting in their room (bedroom/living room/kitchen) gathered around the radio. Wrecking Ball by Miley Cyrus comes on.

Moe: “Hey, it’s that Miley Cyrus dame.”
Curly: “Ever see her dance? Hubba hubba!”
Moe: “You said it, skinhead.”
Larry: “Ah, she ain’t nothin’. I can dance like her.”
Moe: “Shut up porcupine. I can’t hear the music.”

Larry stands up and starts waving his butt in the air. “Hey Moe! I’m twerking! I’m twerking!”
Moe: I’ll show you twerking!”

Moe hits Larry on the top of the head. Larry, who had his tongue sticking out of his mouth like Miley, bites his tongue and screams. Moe grabs Larry by the belt, from behind, and hangs him from a hook on the wall.
Moe: “Let’s see you twerk your way out of that!”

Curly: “You call that twerking? Watch this! Nyuck nyuck!”
Curly stands up and starts waving his butt around, while moving backwards in circles around the room. Moe, caught behind Curly, has to run to avoid him.
Curly: “Woooo! Woo woo woo! Wooooooo!”

Moe jumps on the bed. He reaches out and opens the door. Curly twerks out the door into the hall. Suddenly, a loud crash is heard. Moe runs out the door. Larry takes of his belt and falls off the hook. He runs after Moe, holding up his pants.

Moe and Larry see Curly with his butt stuck halfway through a door. He twerked into the door and smashed it. They pull Curly out of the door and they go back inside.

Moe: “Sit down you mental midgets. I’ll show you how it’s done.”

Moe plays a single note on a harmonica, smiles, and starts a very sedate, deliberate twerk.
Moe: “See boys? That’s how it’s done and no one gets hurt.”

Larry: “Ahh, you don’t know nothin’. C’mon Curly, let’s twerk!

Fade out on The Stooges twerking.


Ok, it’s a little short, but you get it. Gold! It’s gold! The Three Stooges in Twerk Jerks. If you ever see it, you’ll know my time travel experiments paid off.

Writer’s Block #8: Poetry Time

10 Dec


December 10, 2013

It is time once again to resort to  the list of oddball writer’s prompts used by “colleges and universities” around the country and the pickings are getting mighty slim. Today’s prompt: Write a haiku, limerick, or short poem that best represents you (NYU, 2009). This is bad, mighty bad. I am not a poet and I know it. The last time I posted some poetry on this blog was February of 2011. Here it is, in case you have somehow blotted it from your memory:

The Burger King wears a crown.
It is made out of paper.
His face is a waxen mask

Always smiling
“Have it your way.”
My way? But aren’t you the King?

Profound, no? Ok, no. But it has to be better than whatever I am about to come up with.

Writer’s Block #8: Write a haiku, limerick, or short poem that best represents you

This is me.
I have a blog

Hmm. Well, while it fits the description, it frankly sucks. Let’s try that again.

There once was a man from Nantucket, whoseWHOA, whoa, give that another shot.

Rose petal
summer spray

Better, more poetic, but it doesn’t represent me at all.

Oh well, I filled a blog page, so I give up.
And that represents me best of all.


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