Archive | November, 2013

Stupid? Yes. Insensitive? Yes. Racist? No.

12 Nov

November 12, 2013

You may have seen some headlines like this recently:

headline

The controversy swirls around a tweet sent out by Home Depot, a large nationwide hardware chain. Here is the original, since deleted post:

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It is stupid on a lot of levels, not the least of which is how it somehow is meant to promote either Home Depot or College Gameday, which it sponsors. It is just a vain attempt to create a viral video and get their name out there. Again, it promotes neither hardware or college football, but I guess the name of the game is simply getting your name out there for any reason at all.

It really is a stupid picture, and the knee jerk reaction is to call it racist. I get it. Two black men and a gorilla. The racist symbolism is clear and obvious. Plus, looking at the “gorilla’s” hands, it is clear that the man in the suit is white. If one of the other guys put on the suit, the picture would show one white man, one black man, and a gorilla, which, while still stupid, might have avoided some of the racism claims. (Although you would still have the issue of a black man dressed as a gorilla, which some could still take offense at.)

But is this racist? Sure, it evokes racism, it even abuts racism. It brings the issue of racism immediately to mind.

But it is not racist. To be racist, it would have to equate the black men with the gorilla. It does not. The caption clearly reads “which drummer is not like the others?” It is not equating the black men with the gorilla.

The tweet is clearly stupid, and it is insensitive for so obviously bringing the specter of a racist stereotype image into what is meant to be a funny picture. But it is not racist. It is not insulting the people in the picture or people of any race. To immediately call this racist is a knee-jerk, though understandable, reaction.

Home Depot is guilty of being insensitive, and of being oblivious to what they are posting, but I think Home Depot stops a bit short of being racist.

 

Choose Your Own Allan Keyes Adventure

11 Nov

November 11, 2013

keyes1.jpg

I’m taking a creative writing class. It’s part of my self-improvement kick, and since I refuse to give up my rage, xenophobia or binge-eating, this was the least difficult option for me.

That said, since I’m a lazy man and this class is still in fact, too difficult for me, I’m going to try an experiment and crowd-source my short story. If you help me, I promise at some later date to actually show you the finished product.  So imagine yourself as a sophisticated reader (which you naturally are, you’re visiting this blog after all!) and tell us what you think….

Preferred Name for the Hero:

-Slickjack Bohannon

-Razor Horowitz

-Arnold Stallone

-Malvin van Brocklingham, III, Esq.

 

Preferred Name for the Villain:

-Rodney TechNine Johnson

-Cordova Montelban

-Whitey Supremacist

-Yakuza Shinobi

 

Preferred Name for the Love Interest:

-Dances on Poles (an American Indian gal)

-Electra Mankiller

-Pouty Busterton

-Sister Carlotta Savio Vega de la Renta de la Paz

– Gertrude Winklevitz

-Roger Manlove

snoopy-good-writing-is-hard-work 

Where The Story Takes Place:

-Peoria

-The slums of Greenwich, Connecticut

-A broom closet in a janitor’s storage room on the 46th floor of a skyscraper on Memorial Day

-An electrolysis shop on the wrong side of the tracks

-The first kosher hot dog stand in Saigon

-An endless void

 

What the Story is About:

-A touching love story of redemption between an aspiring Plushie and a Donnie Most imitator

-The world’s smartest bird travels back in time to learn the identity of the true inventor of “The Aristocrats” routine

-One desperate network executive tries to save his job by making a News Radio reunion happen, while a rival tries to prevent it – with murderous results

-A suave pig rancher pursues his dream of joining the most prestigious mariachi band in his hometown – Los Dudes Guapos

-An young orphan boy in Guandong Province grows up to be the most famous scat singer since Mel Torme, but faces the rejection of the local noodle wench

-Nothing. What did you do this morning? Ate breakfast and read a book. That’s what happens.

 

Supporting Characters (Pick any 5):

-A jaded prostitute with a heart of gold

-A gruff but secretly paternal Police Captain

-A chainsmoking conspiracy theorist

-A drunken bumbling sidekick that always saves the day

-A deadly rival – who becomes the hero’s best friend

-An overprotective mother

-An under-protective father

-An older male friend – who turns out to be the hero’s long lost daddy

-A disabled war buddy from the Grenada invasion

-Twin circus clowns (counts as three picks)

-An old mentor who’s lost his way

-The Ghost of President Warren G. Harding

-A Friendly Italian whale

 Writingishard

Surprise Plot Twist:

-Evil Twin!

-The butler didn’t do it……the maid did!

-The doctor was the patient’s mother

-The President turns out to be on the Mafia’s payroll

-Darth Vader already got to Bespin first (Hey, it worked for Lucas….)

-Zombie haberdashers

-Accidentally betrayed by those closest to him

-NWO SwerveTM

 

Proposed Titles:

-Full Moons and Pressed Hams

– Esta Historia es Increíblemente Estúpido

-Analstorm: The Bloodening

-The Whimsical Rampage of Dr. Horatio Neublizer

-Lil’ Penny the Cutest Brutalizer

-Star Wars Episode VII