Archive | April, 2013

How I Earned My Geek Card

24 Apr

April 24, 2013

May 1977. I remember it like it was yesterday.

It was a Sunday, around noon. Little me, not quite six and a half years old, was laying on the carpet in the living room of our small apartment with the New York Daily News Sunday comics spread out before me. The carpet was turn-signal green.  The bedroom carpet was turn-signal red. Hey, it was the 70’s.

Dad asked me and my little brother if we wanted to go to the movies. I suspect this had less to do with wanting to take is to the movies than it did with Mom wanting us all out of her hair. With me and my little brother, not quite four and a half years old, we were a handful. And my Dad could be, well, you had to know him. So my Mom would really appreciate a Sunday without us around.

It was a sunny day and the TV was on, although I am not sure what it was playing. I distinctly remember that it was shaping up to be a lazy day. I’d probably end up driving Mom nuts with getting underfoot, hence Dad wanting to get us all out of the house.

I’m pretty sure I was pretty ambivalent about the whole thing. “What’s playing?”

Dad was flipping through the movie section of the paper. When Mom picked the movie we’d end up seeing Victor Victoria or Kramer vs. Kramer. When Dad picked the movie I tended to enjoy them a little more. A couple of years later, little eight year old me would enjoy Roger Moore in Moonraker with him. (I enjoy that film a bit less today.)

After a few seconds of selection, Dad said “Star Wars is supposed to be good.”

I was not impressed.

“Nah, it’ll be boring like Star Trek. Let’s see something else.”

trek_tv_guide_adAt that time, WPIX channel 11 aired Star Trek on the weekends, two episodes sometime between, I think, 3 and 7. During the week Star Trek aired at midnight. As I said, I was not impressed. Little six and a half year old me said “all they do is talk.” (Ironically, that is one of my current complaints about The Next Generation.)

Dad was a sci-fi fan. Most of my early sci-fi books, by people like Harry Harrison and Frederick Pohl, came straight out of his collection. I read The Dragonriders of Pern because of him, as well as The Elfstones of Shannara. My collection today still features his 1977 hardcover copies of Star Wars and Han Solo at Star’s End from the Book of the Month club. So his wanting to see Star Wars was no surprise.

Well, Dad wanted to go, so we went. And I loved it. So much so that when I got home I turned on the TV to watch Star Trek and I not only sat through it, I loved it. I was hooked.

Oddly enough, it was Star Wars that made me a Star Trek fan.

Star Wars must have struck that right chord of action and aliens that made me want to sit through the Spock and McCoy bickering until the Enterprise encountered the Klingons. Today of course, I realize that the Spock and McCoy bickering is just an example of the type of characterization that makes Star Trek work.

old-star-wars-posterDad took us to see Star Wars five times. We could not get enough, and he went just to see what he missed the other times. Two little kids always want something. Dad was always getting up for popcorn, or soda, or more popcorn, or candy, or more soda, and he said that he saw the same film five times but never saw the same parts twice.

So I became a fan of both series and even though it wasn’t long until Star Trek: The Motion Picture came out, I never did see it in the theaters, probably due to the bad reviews. (Unlike me, Dad had standards.) And looking back, it is a good thing I didn’t see it because if I once thought that Star Trek on TV was talky, I would have been bored to tears by that movie. That was one boring movie.

But when Star Trek II came out, I had already cut out the newspaper ads and pasted them all over the house so there was no missing that movie.

What puts me in mind of this tale is that although I earned my geek card in 1977, I think 2013 is the year I give it back. The new Star Trek franchise is not Star Trek. I see the trailer for the new film and nothing about it feels like Trek. George Lucas of course ruined Star Wars many years ago, and with Disney planning to put out a move a year starting in 2015, this may be the time to bail out before it gets worse. I’ve already torn my geek card nearly in half. Back when DC rebooted in 2011 I decided to get out of comics entirely and, other than a pair of back issues from the late 70’s, I have not bought a single comic book from any company since. So with all due love and respect to Dad, who got me into both comics and sci-fi, I think the ride is over.

timeline-1969-startrek

South Africa May Want To Rethink That Commercial

23 Apr

April 23, 2013

I was watching The Apprentice on Sunday and the contestants had to create an ad for South African tourism. Lil Jon was excited because he wanted to do something exciting about safaris. After all, that is what most people think of when they consider going on a vacation to South Africa. However, the South African Tourism people did not want to focus on that. They wanted to focus on things people don’t immediately think of, like vineyards and golf.

Personally I think that is a mistake. If I want a wine and golf vacation I can stay in the United States and skip the twelve-hour international flight. I can also skip the jet lag, the language barrier, the twelve-hour international flight home, the jet lag on the trip home, the lost luggage, etc, etc, etc.

And there is this: During The Apprentice, Gary Busey repeated ( and repeated and repeated) to the South African executives how years ago, when he was shooting a film in Johannesburg,  he heard some people being murdered right behind his hotel.

That did not go over well with anyone.
sa logo

South Africa has been spending a lot of money lately to promote their part of the world. Here in NYC, they sponsor the traffic reports on the all-news station I listen to during my drive to work. However, I am not their target audience. They are aiming at an upscale (and specifically white) demographic that has never considered traveling to South Africa. The attractions they focus on are:

– Golf
-Wine
-The Nelson Mandela Museum
-Beautiful sunsets
– Street festivals

Take out the Mandela museum, and what is on that list that I can’t do in almost any other country of the world? To be fair, one of the people in the radio ad does say there is nothing like hearing a lion roar up close, but on the other hand, I heard lions roar in The Bronx Zoo, The London Zoo, and The San Diego Zoo. And what is a nature preserve in Africa but a bigger zoo?

However, although I think their focus may be misguided, there is a particular part of the radio ad that I truly believe the South African tourism board really needs to rethink. I can’t find it online, and I have not managed to make a recording of it, so I’ll have to describe it to you as best I can.

The premise of the ad is that a man and a woman are describing their recent South African vacation, but there was so much to do that they only have time to talk about their top five favorite things. The couple’s voices and their interests are very, very, stereotypically white. You just know they are the kind of people whose idea of rocking out is to put on some James Taylor and then fall asleep to his sonorous tones. (I’ve seen fire, I’ve seen rain….sssnnnnnzzzzzz.) For an exciting evening they drink an extra glass of wine, watch John Stewart, and phone in a donation to PBS. They may even read a ribald article in The New Yorker.

Anyway, they list the first few things they loved: golf, wine, sunsets, The Mandela Museum. You know, all the stuff people want to see in South Africa, not the wild animals or nature preserves. Not the savannah or native villages. You know, stuff like golf, which I can do right here at home, and wine, which I can get right here at home, and sunsets, which I can see right here at home (or anywhere else in the world- they have the sun in the North Pole too, just not every day.)

I do admit that I can only see The Nelson Mandela Museum in South Africa, but truth be told, I wouldn’t go there anyway. There are plenty of museums in NYC I haven’t been to either.

(And just as an aside, did you see there is a reality show about Nelson Mandela’s family?  What a way to honor your family legacy, Mandelas. You should be so proud. They fight and argue and act stupid like every other stupid reality show. One granddaughter says “when I spend money it has my grandfather’s picture on it!” Ladies and gentlemen, brains like that do not come around every day.)

being_mandela_nelson_mandela_reality_tv

But to get back to the radio commercial, there is still one highlight to go. I’ll try to recreate it as best I can.

VERY WHITE SOUNDING MAN: You know, you really impressed me when you joined the Soweto Street Party and learned the latest local dances.
VERY WHITE SOUNDING WOMAN: You weren’t so bad yourself. I didn’t know you had moves like that.
VERY WHITE SOUNDING MAN: You didn’t know you married a Zulu Warrior, did you?
BOTH: HA HA HA HA HA!

Does anyone else see a problem here? Did you catch it?

Go back and reread it.

And now I will rephrase it for you.

WHITE WOMAN: You weren’t so bad yourself. I didn’t know you could dance so well.
WHITE MAN: You didn’t know you married a black man, did you?

Get it? When she compliments his dancing and his rhythm, he compares himself to a black man.

And never mind the fact that the proud history of the Zulu Nation has been dumbed down to them simply being great dancers.

BTW- until I googled it for this post, I was sure he said “Sweater” Street Party.

This could all be attributed to some dumb USA ad agency at work. God knows they create enough dumb ads, but as seen on The Apprentice, the people in charge of the tourism board are a pair of South African women. They really ought to have known better.

Donald Trump with the brains behind South African Tourism.

Donald Trump with the brains behind South African Tourism.