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The Celebrity Apprentice: Week Nine

15 Apr

April 15, 2012

For those of you keeping score at home, afterLou’s firing last week these are the remaining eight contestants: Teresa, Paul, Clay, Aubrey, and Arsenio on one side, and Lisa, Dayana, and Penn on the other.

Here are my thoughts on each one’s chances of winning.

Teresa: She has not distinguished herself but despite being called out in the boardroom fairly often has not really done badly. Probably not a contender.

Paul: Everyone loves him and he gets done whatever is asked of him. Unbelievably, other than when he was project manager the first week, he has been quiet and low-key. I think if he steps up and wins another task he has a great shot at winning.

Clay: Not afraid to speak his mind and stand up for himself and his team, I think Clay is the frontrunner right now.

Aubrey: No.

Arsenio: A contender too but like Paul he needs to step up a little more and really make himself stand out.

Lisa: If you listen to her she has done every single task by herself. So logically she is also to blame since her teams have lost the majority of their tasks. Plus she is nasty and confrontational and not the type of person Trump picks. I won’t say she has no chance only because so many of her team members support her.

Dayana: She is just there, neither good nor bad. It is not all her fault because she isn’t usually given much to do. So far, unless things change, little to no chance of winning.

Penn: What a huge disappointment he has been. HUGE. I expected him to win it all and now I am wondering what he is doing here. He missed the majority of two tasks and added little to any of them. He admitted to checking out mentally and after the debacle of the Blue Man Group tossing money to the wind I can see no reason for him to stick around any longer. Sorry Penn, but you have shown no leadership or creativity.

And now on with the show.

The show began with Lisa attacking Clay, and Aubrey talking about how much she hates Clay. Where did that come from? He has been nothing but a pro. Oh, wait, he called her out in the boardroom. Aubrey is so obvious. This show was taped long ago. I wonder how Aubrey feels sitting at home watching her performance? Probably loves it, that idiot. “I usually impress myself so I am not worried.” Sheesh.

THE TASK: A live puppet show for adults with an original puppet character.

But first, time to even the teams and guess what? Clay moved over to Lisa’s team. I would not have even the teams. One perk of winning is that you get an advantage over the other team in terms of personnel. If you are going to even out the terms that takes away on of the perks of winning.

Paul, BTW, was credited on-screen as “Star of American Chopper,” which of course is true, but not as “Owner of Orange County Choppers.” Not a big deal I guess but interesting.

Aubrey: “Maybe Arsenio has experience as a comedic performer…”  she can’t take a breath without insulting someone! But Lisa is no better. Last week she grudgingly complimented Dayana  but right away she was insulting her again. “She thinks she can do what we do.”

Meanwhile, I must admit that Aubrey stepped back and let the leader lead. Ok, she said she was going to do that  and yes it was a calculated move, but still it was a nice change.

Lisa was getting offensive making fun of Dayana’s accent and her Spanish language. If she loses she will look bad in the boardroom.

Paul was managing just the way he does at OCC, sitting back and letting everyone do the work. H even admitted “I felt no pressure because I was just sitting on the sidelines.” To be fair, he had extreme back issues that prevented him even lifting his arms.

Aubrey was being Aubrey, complaining about everyone else. “Teresa’s trying her best, which probably isn’t going to be good enough.”

So far, the teams, with the assistance of Jim Henson’s son Brian, have been building Muppets puppets that they will be voicing and performing with. Neither team has yet settled on what the show will but Lisa knows who will, or more importantly who won’t be performing. Much as I hate Aubrey, Lisa has been creeping up higher and higher on my can’t-stand-her list.

Going into the performance, Paul is on the line as the other three members all agree he did almost nothing on this task. On the other side, it is all on Lisa again, as she (she will claim) did everything. Lisa will blame Dayana for doing nothing but once again, Lisa gave her nothing to do. And then Lisa dove into a profanity-laced tirade towards Dayana. “I had to create out of my ass something for you to do!” And that was one of the tamer ones. So Dayana is looking for work and Lisa gives her none but in the boardroom Lisa will blast Dayana for not doing anything. So whose fault is that? Lisa then yelled at Penn and Clay “why do I have to manage her every week? Why can’t one of you step up?” BECAUSE YOU ARE THE PROJECT MANAGER THIS WEEK, that’s why.

Lisa’s team did their show and it seems to go over very well. If they lose, Clay is safe because of his performance.

Paul’s team? Let’s say Teresa… needed work. The following performance was better:

The puppet pros said she broke every rule of improv.

10:25. The Boardroom.

Lisa attacked Dayana for wanting to be on stage. Dayana simply wanted to be involved in some capacity. Lisa gave her nothing to do, and worse, said that her accent hurt her.

Lisa if you lose who will you bring back? “I may just bring myself in. I am not going to be a villan because I have strong opinions.” The preceding was said through tears and sobs.

Paul, who was your weak player? Teresa. “It takes her a long time to make up her mind.”

What did Arsenio think of Paul? “He may not have been able to move, but he was able to lead us.” Everyone loves Paul Senior!

THE WINNER: Team Lisa. This should be an easy boardroom. Teresa is gone for her bad performance. Paul is on the block for being the project manager, but Arsenio was singled out for being a great puppeteer and Aubrey was singled out for her hosting so there is no on else left.

Arsenio, who should be fired? Teresa.
Teresa, who should be fired? Paul. “He didn’t do anything. We pretty much ran the whole show.”
Paul, who should be fired? Teresa.
Aubrey: “Paul was injured, this was not his field. He did not contribute much.”
Aubrey, who is the more valuable team member going forward? She sort of picked Teresa but also ran her down at the same time.
Arsenio, same question. Paul. “He’s a bright guy.”
Is Paul a leader or a follower in respect to this task? “He was nothing but a leader on this task.”

Paul, who is safe tonight? “Arsenio. Moving forward he brings a lot of versatility to the team.”

GOING TO THE BOARDROOM: Paul, Aubrey, and Teresa.

Lisa thinks it is a bad move because if he brought Arsenio he would back Paul, now no one will back Paul.

Ivanka: “Paul seems a bit lackluster, he seems a little tired.”

Aubrey is backing Teresa in the boardroom (with ridiculous backhanded compliments)and it is easy to see why. Going forward Teresa is no competition while Paul would be tough competition. She is trying to get rid of her biggest threat, Paul Senior.

But in the end, not bringing back Arsenio whom the judges disliked was a big problem, so Paul Senior, you’re fired.

I do not know how I feel about that. Tune in tomorrow for the American Chopper Weekly Rundown for my take on it.

Trump: “He will be missed.”

Paul: “It is weird getting fired because I am usually on the other end of the shoot.”

NEXT WEEK: Launching Donald Trump’s new cologne. And George Ross is back!

Sneak Peek of the Week of April 15th, 2012

15 Apr

April 15, 2012

I’ll be honest with you, that image has zero to do with the Sneak Peek but that has never stopped me before.

Tomorrow is Trump and the Apprentice, Tuesday is the soap opera that is American Chopper, Friday is the always imponderable Imponderable, and Saturday Comics will be all-new with a comic book series I will bet you do not have in your collection. (I of course do.)

See ya!

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