Tag Archives: Lex Luthor

One Day in Metropolis

15 Aug

August 15, 2014

Tourist: Look!

Man: Wha?

Tourist: Look! Up in the sky!

Man: Get outta my way, I’m walkin’ here.

Tourist: Seriously, look in the sky!

Woman: I think it’s a bird or something, I dunno, like an owl.

Man: That guy’s nuts.

Tourist: Look! In the sky!

Woman: Now it kinda looks like a plane. It’s just a plane.

Man: Jeez, I’m supposed to get all excited over a bird? This is Metropolis, try to not see a bird or a plane.

Tourist: It’s Superman!

Woman: That’s all? I’m late for my appointment.

Tourist: But it’s Superman!

Man: Let me tell you something about this Superman, pal. Maybe you wazzn’t here back then, but when Brainiac got a mad on and wanted to kill Supes he didn’t go to no Pittsburgh. He showed up right here and stood right in Shuster Square, daring Supes to hit him right in the kisser. Traffic was tied up for miles. Think I got to work that day? No I did not. Lost my job over that. And unemployment don’t take “lost my job cuz of Brainiac” and pay off a jackpot.

Tourist: But what about Lex Luthor, huh? Superman kept him from destroying the Boring Building.

Man: Yeah, but not before Luthor ripped up half the block. Yeah, Superman saved the Boring Building, but what about the Good Chops Diner down the block? They’ve been closed for three weeks tryin’ ta fix it up. My wife used to work there. Let me tell you, there ain’t no work there now.

Tourist: Well, ok, I’m sorry, but wow, look at him. Don’t you wish you could fly like him?

Man: Yeah, I’d fly away to a place where I ain’t got no bills. MetroBank don’t let you pay off your credit cards with Daily Planet coupons.

Tourist: Oh, yeah, I see…

Man: Yeah, great, now you see. You think about that while I’m on line for food stamps. See ya around, I’m late already.

 

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The Saturday Comics: Thanksgiving Covers

30 Nov

November 30, 2013

from November 24, 2012

thanksgiving header

Comics are just like reality. They celebrate the same holidays we do. Wether it be Christmas, Thanksgiving, or the anniversary of the day Superman rocketed to Earth, you can find a cover to commemorate the event. And sometimes, like your uncle Moe at the dinner table, they tell strange stories. Let’s see what comics have to say about Thanksgiving.

Donald Duck. Patriot. Member of the NRA. And fearsome turkey hunter. will he catch the turkey? Will his nephews outsmart him? Will that ancient gun explode the moment he pulls the trigger?

Things are getting desperate for that poor turkey. He’s really buttering up, or perhaps hitting on, Donald. Hey , if you were going to be served for dinner you’d go to extreme lengths to survive too.

I guess the turkey won. And it looks like Donald has found some appropriate replacements. I am not sure under what circumstances ducks will turn to cannibalism, but Huey, Dewey, and Louie? Them’s good eating.

Let’s see if Bugs Bunny can do any better.

This is one proactive turkey. If I were Bugs I’d be thinking about letting Elmer Fudd go after this one.

Yup, this turkey is not taking things lying down. I think the odds are pretty good that Bugs will end up on the bird’s dinner table.

Nope, Bugs Bunny won, but judging from the crazed look in his eyes he may never be the same again. Poor guy has been traumatized for life.

So far the turkeys are taking pretty good care of themselves, but can they beat the Justice Society?

Yes they can. This turkey is managing to elude Flash, Wonder Woman, and Green Lantern. He’s the Lex Luthor of turkeys, and just as bald. What is next for the foul fiend, world domination?

Next up is a bird who ended up roasted but still seems to have gotten some sort of revenge.

It seems that Solomon Grundy is immune to salmonella poisoning. I would never accept dinner at Grundy’s house. Would you expect an undead swamp monster to wash his hands after restroom? I don’t think so.

This is just weird. Aside from Lana having a crush on her own brother for all those years, why would Superboy wear his costume around the house and to serve dinner?

And lastly, I had to end with something that, while not a comic book, is what the season is all about.