Tag Archives: food

I found Brooklyn in the Caribbean (Part 2): “On Watch”

19 Jun

June 19, 2015

So there I was, eating breakfast in the cruise ship buffet dining room. What did I have for breakfast? What didn’t I have for breakfast! Cruise ship + buffet = passengers too fat to get into a lifeboat in case of an emergency. Seriously, if the boat did go down, there would be a significant number of people clinging to the omelet station in rough seas.

So the four of us were sitting at a table next to the floor-to ceiling windows. We were in the back of the ship and I had an amazing view of the sea.

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I had to take this without the flash. My first attempt with the flash blinded half the dining room when it reflected off all that glass. The Captain thought we were torpedoed.

Somehow the conversation came around to watches. There was a watch sale onboard, and the prices really were good- 75% off Invictus watches, for example, and no tax. My brother was showing off the expensive watch he was wearing (NOTE TO WOULD-BE THIEVES: He keeps the watch locked in a safe, so back off!) and I showed off the classy watch I picked up a couple of days before at the $10 sale. OK, it was no Invictus, but the painted-on day and date dials saved the trouble of actually having to set the day and date. And I think Cruise Club is a pretty swanky name because hey, it tells people “I bought this $10 piece of junk on a cruise!”

There was a lull in the conversation as we all took in the majesty of the sea, Neptune’s Kingdom, Poseidon’s Paradise, the place my Uncle Lou peed, when from the next table came an unfamiliar voice in a very familiar Brooklyn accent saying “so you like watches, huh?”

This was directed at my brother, not me. Or maybe it was directed at me, I don’t know. My plan (and I implemented it beautifully) was to ignore people I didn’t want to talk to, which was anyone who was not handing me a dry towel as I got out of the pool.

It turned out the Brooklyn accent came from a woman sitting at the next table, another very senior senior citizen. She was there with her companion, who turned out to also have a very thick Brooklyn accent. Their names were Lorena and Robyn, and I know this because Lorena went around the table third-grade style and made us introduce ourselves, herself and Robyn included. And guess what? She was a former third-grade teacher. (Ever “see” a word in your mind’s eye? Even though Robyn never spelled out her name, I saw it spelled with a “y” as soon as she said it, hanging there in midair in front of her.)

The conversation was actually kind of not unpleasant. We talked for a few minutes and of course the talk turned to where everyone came from. And not only did Lorena and Robyn come from Brooklyn, and not only the same part of Brooklyn (Bensonhurst), but from 2 damn blocks away from me. Two blocks! We talked about stores in the neighborhood, schools, all kinds of stuff that I talk about at home, not a thousand miles away from home.

I traveled to the Caribbean to talk to a pair of people who live 2 blocks away from me.

I haven’t seen them since I’ve been home. I’ve been spending a lot of time in my apartment just in case they walk past my door.

 

TO BE CONTINUED IN PART 3: My Review of Saturday Night Fever: The Musical, at Sea.

You can find Part 1 right here! Click! You know you want to.

 

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Workplace Logic

24 Apr

April 24, 2015

They fixed the vending machine in my office yesterday.

This is a big deal.

Last Friday morning, we all arrived at the Company I Am employed by, (subject to change), and found the glass on the vending machine was smashed. Most of the bottom half was in shards on the floor, and the rest was still hanging there, shattered but still clinging together by whatever little cohesion the glass particles still had. I assumed someone tried to rock the machine to get out a stuck candy and it dropped too fast, but the consensus was the someone put their fist through it, and it did sort of look like that since a lot of the cracks seemed to radiate out from a point that was now laying on the floor.

The interesting thing is that it looked like no one had taken a single thing from the pretty much open machine.

Fast forward to Monday morning and the machine was still broken and wide open, but it had been looted over the weekend. About half the rows were empty, and most of the rest were missing most of their goods.

Untouched: Mandarin orange slices.

Fast forward to Tuesday and the machine was still broken and wide open. It was even emptier, but the orange slices were still untouched.8860e954e9ea8480e8c23238e054b395

And then yesterday, the machine was still broken but the Company had installed  a camera pointed directly at the vending machine and a memo went out that some people had been fired for stealing from the open machine.

People were fired for taking trail mix out of a broken vending machine that had been left neglected for days. OK, I admit that it was wrong to take anything from the machine, but to be fired over it?

In the five days since the glass was broken, here is what did NOT happen:

-No one put cardboard, plastic, or anything over the shattered glass. (Shattered glass is, of course, a big safety hazard.)
-No one turned the vending machine to the wall to prevent theft.

And especially bad:

-No one called the vending machine company to fix it. And believe me, the guy who showed up to restock it yesterday was major league pissed about that.

So rather than call the company to fix the machine, my Company installed a camera to catch candy thieves. There is a logic there, no doubt, but it is the kind of logic that usually only makes sense to the federal government.

 

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