Tag Archives: dating

Imponderable #4: Tokyo Japan

7 Jul

July 7, 2011

Japan strikes again

I’ve covered the cyberhug before. And while not everyone agrees with me, I still say Japan is nuts. If there is a wacky computer product or bizarre sex video the odds are it comes from Japan. Whether it is a game based on urinating, an elderly porn star, or an electronic French kiss, it is clear that the Japanese have some issues to work through.

I don’t see the attraction of tongue kissing my computer. Of course I also get out of my house and interact with real people from time to time so I may not be in the target audience for this thing.

I also worry about the possibility of electrocution.

The researchers are working to replicate an individual’s taste, breathing, and tongue moisture, but since they want to create “celebrity” kissing apps, will they have to replicate each star’s specific bad breath and body odor? Could we one day have the ability to experience Robert De Niro’s tobacco breath in our mouth? Lindsey Lohan’s stink after a drunken binge? And popular and funny she may be, but would you want to tongue-kiss Betty White? Through a computer or not, there’s a limit.

And this being Japan, the potential for fetish is endless. I won’t get into it but in Japan you can buy used panties from a vending machine. ‘Nuff said.

I can only wonder about who comes up with this, but I wonder more about the volunteer who tests this.

Who is the person who is waiting for the day they can stick a straw in his mouth, kiss his computer, and pretend it is Ed Asner?

The question is Imponderable.

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Beans, Beans The Musical Fruit, The More You Eat, The More You Play Disco Music

12 Jan

January 12, 2011

Of the many things I never expected to read, this was not one of them.

You’ve heard of eine kleine nachtmusik? Here’s eine kleine stomachmusik
 

Meet Fredrik Hjelmqvist.

There’s little I can add to the jokes you must already have come up with.    

 
 

And now for a little stomache music...

 This man gives a new meaning to term “illegal downloads.”

Just imagine a romantic evening. A wonderful dinner, a carriage ride around Central Park, and music emanating from a man’s abdomen. What woman could resist? Sorry. I meant to say, what woman would go near him again?

Beans have long been known as the musical fruit, but swallowing this bean brings it to an entirely new level. Sure, most men have been known to toot a little from time to time, but how many of us have played three-part harmony? Alone, that is.
 
Just think. You find yourself pursued by the police- pop in a capsule of high-speed chase music. In a dark alley? Swallow a pill of ominous bass music. Having sex? Pop a capsule of 70’s porno music. And a Viagra. You can be your own soundtrack!
 
Record someone else’s voice and fool any voice recognition software. Just be sure to have an answer as to why you are holding the phone to your stomach.
 
Of course, an invention like this must have many serious practical applications, one would expect, though they escape me at the moment. Perhaps you can rent him out for parties…?
  

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