Tag Archives: breakfast

Should Pigs Be More Or Less Literate?

26 Jan

January 26, 2014

Remember Wilbur from Charlotte’s Web? Seemed like a pretty smart guy. If I were a farmer I wouldn’t mind having him in my barn. After a long day plowing, I’d go into the barn, crack open a beer, spend some time just shooting the breeze with the pig, and one nice winter morning, bacon and eggs.

And those pigs from Animal Farm. Napoleon may be the villain of the book, and more of a pig of action, but he sure does get things done. I may not want him on my farm but I have to admit, some of his right hand pigs like Squealer sure can talk up a storm.

Miss Piggy may not yet have talked Kermit into matrimony (yet, give her time) but she sure does deliver the ham.

Which brings me to Maxwell the GEICO pig.

MaxwellPig

He seems like a nice guy, and he sure goes places. He flies around the country, he goes to football games and he zip lines, he has dates with attractive women, and he even somehow manages to drive a car, though how his hooves reach the pedals remains a mystery. He also uses the latest technology, which brings us to his latest GEICO ad and Maxwell’s trip to the DMV.

You know, I used to like Maxwell. He was friendly and smart (for a pig) but this commercial just makes me feel bad.

“Gots all my pertinents on it and such.”

WHAT? When did Maxwell start talking like a gibbon? (Gibbons are the idiots of the talking animal world.)

More to the point, why did GEICO write that line? What are they going for? Is it a commentary on the people at the DMV? Some particular demographic I am not quite seeing?

Honestly, I am not all that concerned with the presentation of pigs in media (though I am VERY concerned with cats. Check out my thoughts on LOLcats here.) I am more concerned with what GEICO is thinking about their target audience. Do we not speak proper English? Do we all speak in some sort of combination of slang and illiteracy? Hey, I don’t think every commercial character needs to speak the King’s English or use perfect grammar, but this just stood out like a sore thumb.

Of course, there is also the possibility that this is just a silly little commercial, and kind of funny too.

Miss%20Piggy%20and%20Kermit%20-749295

Other famous pigs:
Porky
Arnold
Kim Kardashian

 

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Cereal Killers: Frankenberry Vs. Cap’n Crunch

24 Oct

October 24, 2013

We had a team-building day at The Company I Am employed by. This was odd because:
 A- Our team has not changed.
 B- There are only 4 members of my team.
 and C- No one else had a team-building day.

We began by having one-on-one interviews with our superiors from Langley Wilmington. It seems to me that one-on-ones totally defeat the point of team-building but what do I know? I’m only college educated. Next, each member of the team gave updates on whatever projects we have going on. Sound like fun yet? This was followed by lunch. Counting our superiors and one extra person from a related area who sat in, there were seven people in the room. They brought in enough sandwiches for, easily, five times that number, and that assumes that each of us would eat three sandwiches each. Which none of us did. Oddly, all these sandwiches were accompanied by four personal bottles of water (for seven people) and a two liter bottle of Coke. (Trust me, I got both a bottle of water and a glass of Coke. I felt pretty privileged, believe you me.) there was also some salad and some pasta salad, in more or less appropriate amounts.

After lunch, it was game time. Sigh.

We were split into teams (one of us was the “host”) and played a game where we were asked questions at random and awarded a point for no readily discernible reason. When it was my turn I was asked “if you could be one cereal box character, who would it be? My response? Frankenberry. Why? Because he is big and strong, yet friendly, and with Halloween around the corner I am sure to clean up when it comes to trick-or-treating. (Yes, I am an adult.)

This caused an argument.

Why not Count Chocula?
He can only go out at night.

Why not Boo Berry?
He’s an intangible ghost.

Fruit Brute and Yummy Mummy have their own drawbacks as well.

Why not Captain Crunch?

Now it’s on!

battleberry

But Captain Crunch is a Captain!
He’s been a captain his whole career. If he was so hot he’d be an admiral or a commodore by now. (Commodore Crunch has a nice ring to it.)

He’s a decorated war hero!
Not only do I not buy that, but his ship is made of wood. Not exactly state of the art. Plus look at his uniform. I’m not totally convinced that he’s an American captain. War hero? For all I know, he could be a war criminal.

He has authority!
He has no authority over land.

And that won me the argument. My teammate totally lost it and cracked up and the other side had to admit that Cap’n Crunch’s jurisdiction did not extend to land-based trick-or-treating, especially over civilians.

So my side won, although there was no prize (except maybe whatever the point of team-building is, which eluded me and my team, who have been together for a year and a half.)

On the other hand, we all won because once the game was over, we were all allowed to leave work early.

Score!

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