Tag Archives: Allan Keyes

Fun With Teh Internets #3

25 Jun

June 25, 2012

You ever have a dream that’s just unreachable? No matter how hard you try, you just can’t make happen? I feel your pain. For years I’ve been dreaming about getting the perfect tattoo. But no matter how hard I look, I can never find an artist who can handle my requirements. And really, what’s so hard about it anyway? Why is it so impossible to find a tattoo parlor that can handle something simple like a full-face picture of Jerry Orbach as he looked in Dirty Dancing, with the words “Nobody Puts Baby in a Corner” underneath in gothic script?? It’s not like I asked for anything hard like “mother” or the classic battleship.  Oh well. My dream tattoo is awesome but below are some

 BAD TATTOOS

Unless this is Mrs. Danza’s arm THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR THIS ONE.  Who the eff loves Tony Danza so much they’d get him permanently on their body?? (Click here for more Tony Danza lunacy.) And the expression looks like the last simile a boy scout would see before being thrown into a victim pit. This person would’ve been better served by getting Danny Pintauro on his arm instead. (Wonder what Danny Pintauro is up to? He is selling Tupperware. For real. click and see.)

This woman needs to be beaten with a Plinko stick.

I believe this pair of YouTube clips sums up my feelings.


I understand that she plans on hiding this with an awkwardly placed bandana for the rest of her life.

 

This is the Jar Jar Binks of Star Wars tattoos. I can’t decide if this was done by a trained monkey or talented five-year old. PS- Don’t ask to see his Death Star!

And the #1 is…………………………… 

 HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…………………on second review, this one is AWESOME!

 Looking at these has given me an idea for an even better dream tattoo…..what do you all think?

Oh no he didn’t!

So what’s your dream tatoo?

FUN WITH TEH INTERNETS

11 Jun

June 11, 2012

(That’s not a typo.)

Allan Keyes begins a regular gig (with a snazzy logo) today.

——————————————————————–

Sometimes I just like to google weird things to see what images come up.  I almost always get……interesting results. Some of these I felt were worth sharing with you good people.

TODAY’S SEARCH:
FAT+ GUY+ COSPLAY

Top Five Images Found:

5:

Lemul S. Jackson

This guy isn’t bad per se, and I’m sure he’s a big hit with all the chicks at Shaft Nite at the local Fuddruckers, but come on man! Nick Fury? DUDE……this guy is more like Lemuel S. Jackson than Samuel L. Jackson. FATVENGERS, ASSEMBLE……AT THE BUFFET!

 4:

Autobots! Transform into something to hide my shame!

 If this guy is Prime, I really don’t want to see what Megatron looks like.

3:

 It’s Sailor Moo! But I gotta give him his (her?) props. Not everyone can carry off a phallic pink penile sword with that much panache

2:

For the love of God, do not look below the waist. That’s just wrong.

 I apologize for subjecting you to this guy’s gut of fury.  But you can thank me for not showing you this guy from the back!

 And the absolute runaway #1 image for searching FAT+GUY+COSPLAY:

 

MO VAUGHN HAS REALLY LET HIMSELF GO…..remember this pic taken in happier days, when Big Mo would go on to become of the biggest busts in Mets history (and yes, pun VERY intended)
 

 Got a search suggestion? Send it in!