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January News Roundup

20 Jan

January 20, 2011

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STUPID NEWS PLAGUES COUNTRY

Mr. Blog to Mock Headlines Nationwide

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WORLD NEWS

Mr. BTR would like to announce that he has been granted funding by Arts Council of England for his performance of “Man who stays home a lot and sleeps late.” This in no way will interfere with his other performances of “Man without a job,” “Man who blogs,” and “Man who laughs all the way to the bank.”

The next in the series of Avex videos is “Buy me a drink,” followed by “Your place or mine,” “I have something to tell you,” and “Doctor’s report.” 

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LOCAL NEWS
   

On the one hand we have a woman robbed while on the toilet by a clown, and on the other hand a woman who broke into a house half naked and high. On the whole. which victim would you rather be?

 

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RELIGION

Wouldn’t that church logo make a good t-shirt?

Some fine young parishioners on their way to worship.

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SPORTS

I’m sure there are plenty of jokes I could make here, plenty of snotty remarks, a lot of nasty remarks, but I shall refrain. I am a Mets fan. I am in my own kind of sports Hell.

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Speaking of Glenn Close…

5 Jan

January 5, 2011

Before I begin, a massive thanks to Skinner, on whose site this all took place. (I hope he’s proud.)

Skinner does an occassional series where he answers the often absurd questions posted on CNN’s front page. Here is today’s:

Well, I couldn’t top that, but I was drawn to the next point, “Glenn Close upset over Navy video.”
And it went from there.

Clearly, there had been some sort of misunderstanding on my part. I attempted to correct it.

I’m not sure that cleared it up at all. In fact, I think it made things worse.

For those of you who tried in vain to click on the video above, here it is: (Click on this one, guys.)

I may not have quite gotten it right again.

And that’s the way we ended it, but not before Skinner and I found some common ground. Here I present, for the first time outside of Skinner.fm, Glenn Close’s audition for The Horror of Party Beach.

Skinner.fm: Where the fun is.

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