Archive | Writing RSS feed for this section

My Review of Mr. Sunshine.

15 Feb

February 15, 2011

Before I begin, I have to note that this is a “blind” review. That means that I am reviewing the show without having seen it. It does not mean that I am sightless. If I were then I wouldn’t be bothering with this review. Why am I doing this blind? I don’t want to watch this show. It puts me among the ranks of professional critics, who often send interns or assistants to movie screenings or have them watch a new show. The critics then write their review based on what they are told. (Some of you older folks out there may remember a time when there was a little thing called “journalistic integrity.” Today we have bloggers like me.)

Mr. Sunshine is the long awaited- no, no, I can’t finish that. No matter what the network execs claim, no one was waiting for Matthew Perry to come back to TV. He’s only doing television because his movie career, not too bright to begin with, has fizzled out. But for the sake of “journalistic integrity” (What’s that?) I have to admit that I liked the one where he knocked up Salma Hayek, but I should probably attribute that to Salma Hayek.

Perry is the final Friends actor to come back to TV. Even the guy who played Gunther did an episode of Scrubs back in 2005. He’s also probably the least successful, unless you count David Schwimmer. OK, Matt LeBlanc’s spin-off tanked, but to be fair, he was the worst actor of the bunch.

Part of his appeal on Friends was that you could watch him shrivel away as his drug habit got worse and worse, then after he kicked the habit you could watch him get bigger and bigger as he couldn’t stop eating.

Mr. Sunshine stars Matthew Perry and probably some other people. I don’t expect it to do well. Take any classic sitcom. To be successful you have to start with characters you care about. Largely, wacky guests and “funny situations of the week” are secondary. I’ll show you what I mean.

The Honeymooners. Everyone knows and loves Ralph, Alice, Norton, and Trixie. Once you have likeable characters that you can relate to you’re almost finished. They didn’t need a lot of sets. Nearly every show was set almost entirely in the Kramden’s living room.

I Love Lucy: Two main sets- The Ricardo’s apartment and the Club Babaloo or whatever it was called.

All in The Family: The living room.

Seinfeld: Jerry’s apartment and the coffee shop. Sure, they went places, but 90% of the time they were in one of those two sets.

Everybody Loves Raymond: Ray’s house, his parent’s house.

Friends: The prototypical show where a bunch of people sit around and talk. The coffee shop and the apartments were really interchangeable.

On the surface, Mr. Sunshine seems to fit right in because it is set in one place, an arena. Don’t be deceived. In a sense, this show is a reverse Doctor Who. The Doctor travels through time and space, always landing in one strange situation after another. You never know where he’ll land next. Mr. Sunshine is the opposite because while he never moves, the wacky situations come to him. He works in an arena and one week the circus is in town! Clowns! Elephants! Next week, the Smurfs are putting on a show! Everyone loves the Smurfs! After that, wrestling! Let’s get Matthew Perry in the ring with a wrestler! A concert episode! We can have a wacky mix up with a celebrity cameo!

Re-read the second half of the last paragraph- that was probably the network pitch right there.

See the problem? This show was conceived backwards. Instead of coming up with interesting characters they came up with they think is a funny set up and began from there. No commercial I’ve seen focuses on the characters. They focus on the Smurfs, the elephant, the clowns, the guy in a mascot suit, the hockey team. Matthew Perry could be a cardboard cutout because all the commercials show is him grinning. Oh, there is the one commercial that shows a semi-funny gag, where Perry is on the phone talking to Springsteen’s rep. But guess what? That fits into the celebrity cameo cliché I mentioned above. What happens when they run out of funny events for the arena? Ask that question in six weeks. Then you’ll see what happens to a comedy where you don’t like the characters. (The same thing is happening to the has-to-be-cancelled-soon-because-it-sucked-from-Day-One Better With You. Man, that show is a chore to watch.)

Have you noticed the motto for the USA Network? “Characters welcome.” They get it.

Could the show have been funny? Sure, there is a chance. I didn’t see it. Of course the reviews say it was mediocre but as you may be thinking by now, what do the critics know? I simply don’t think the show has any staying power.

Now I’m as bad as you are.

10 Feb

February 10, 2011

Some time back, 2009 maybe, I signed up for a Twitter account. Until yesterday that was the end of the story. I never used it. Twitter was becoming big so I decided to get an account. (See how behind the times I am? Twitter blew up in 2008 and I first noticed that it was “becoming big” a year later.)  Oh, not so that I could start using it and sending random useless posts like the rest of the world (that’s what this blog is for) but so I could lock in my name in case I ever want to use it in the future. This way no one else could use my name and post ridiculous and stupid things on the internet. (Again, that’s what this blog is for.)

Oh, I don’t mean to imply that twitter is a waste of time. I mean to explicitly state that Twitter is a waste of time. There are some exceptions. For example, Jim, the excellent Radio Master at Relic Radio uses it to inform his followers when a new show is posted, and in between he may tweet some news about a cool movie on TV or something else interesting or funny. JRD Skinner, whom you should all follow, is the CEO of Skinner FM and like Jim he uses it to keep people abreast of his projects, the latest Flash Pulp, FlashCast, and general Flash news and other hijinks.

The other 99.9% of you tweet crap like “OMG I so totally love Justin Bieber!’ or “eating dinner now.”

Longtime readers of my blog may have noticed a couple of things.

1- Justin Bieber has replaced David Schwimmer and Paris Hilton as my whipping boy. Schwimmer has become irrelevant and Hilton is too easy. Yes, that’s a pun. But never fear, I still have room for some random Tom Cruise/Scientology bashing.

2- I am comfortably using terms like “tweet” and “twitter” without making fun of them. “But Mr. Blog,” you whine, “you used to make fun of that stupid babble all the time.” To that I say, shut up.

But I digress. I believe I was talking about Scientology.
NO, no, I was talking about Twitter. I’ll leave it to Tom Cruise to talk about Scientology. He needs the practice with big words. (See? See point 1 above.)

Anyway, the future is now because I logged onto my Twitter account for the first time in a year or so just to see if it was still active. Sadly, it was.

So what did I see?
Somehow I have ten followers. Now bear this in mind- I never posted a single tweet, never searched for anyone, never went beyond the creation of an account. I can give two of my followers a pass. They are people I once knew who must have put their address books into Twitter and found any contacts who had an account. (Does it work that way? I hope so, it suits the story.) The other eight needed a bit of research. By “research” I mean “I looked at their profiles.”

I assumed that they were spammers who trolled Twitter and just followed everybody. A couple of them seem to be but most of them are just regular, albeit nearly empty,  profiles. Here are the eight. I’ve changed their names to protect the innocent. (Ever see Ed Wood? Remember when Criswell said “Let us punish the guilty. Let us reward the innocent.” I get the punishing the guilty part, but what exactly are we rewarding the innocent for? Not getting involved? And how does he propose to reward them anyway? Gift cards?)

Here they are, with statistics.

TWIT ONE
1 Tweet     921 Following     2 Followers.

TWIT TWO
1 Tweet      841 Following     6 Followers

TWIT THREE
1 Tweet      813 Following    16 Followers

TWIT FOUR
1 Tweet     713 Following     8 Followers

TWIT FIVE
1 Tweet     881 Following     18 Followers

TWIT SIX
1 Tweet     620 Following     11 Followers

TWIT SEVEN
1 Tweet     708 Following     25 Followers

TWIT EIGHT
2 Tweets    1,414 Following   43 Followers

Let’s total this out, shall we?
9 Tweets    6,911 Following   129 Followers

All following me with my zero tweets. That’s a big network of nothing.

Frankly, following me is like owning a pet rock. I require no attention and give back nothing. You can forget about me for months or years and be sure that nothing has changed. I’m sure the two people I used to know who are following me forgot long ago that they are following me. Never tweeting a single thing will have that effect.

Anyway, I didn’t title this post “Now I’m as bad as you are” because I think it is snappy and an attention getter. (Is it? I hope it is.) I named it because odds are you are on Twitter and post regular updates. (Seriously, I hope you do. The world can’t wait to hear when you arrive at the office or how much you love the CW.) Well, I can’t say I will ever post regular updates but I now have posted a tweet. Yep, my one and only tweet. So what was it? A plug for this site. Yep, And I even put up a profile picture. And while I was there I started following the aforementioned Jim and JRD.

So log on to your Twitter account, find BMJ2K, follow me, and forget me. You’ll probably never hear from me (you’ll be just like people I actually know!) but maybe once a year I’ll send a tweet. So far, 2009- no tweets. 2010- no tweets. 2011- one tweet. Make a game out of it, take bets- “When will BMJ2K tweet again? I take June 24th!” “Fifty bucks on February 5th, 2012.” “Next leap year, whenever that is, February 29th. I’m all in.”

Or you can be like everyone else and follow Justin Bieber, who today tweeted “still buggin out.” What a poet.