December 20, 2012
I’ve been working on a movie lately and I am sure that it is going to be a hit. It’s family friendly and would make a great Pixar or Disney film. It has elements of The Rescuers, The Iron Giant, and even Lassie but it is totally unique and original. I’m going to relate my vision to you as a short story so that you can see the potential for box office mojo and then, I hope, you’ll join me in getting a studio to back this sure-to-be blockbuster.
HAMSTERUS!
Act One: Bobby
Little Bobby Simmons was only five years old, but for as long as he could remember he always wanted a pet hamster. His parents always thought he was too little for a pet.
“But when can I have a hamster?”
“You can have a hamster when you can reach the top of the desk without standing on your tip-toes,” his mother told him.
Bobby was a growing boy, and obedient. He always ate all of his vegetables and did everything his mother told him to do. Every day after breakfast he’d rush back to his room and measure himself and one day, finally, he could reach the top of the desk without standing on his tip-toes. He flew to his mother’s arms.
“I can do it Mother! I can do it!”
“What dear? What can you do?”
“I can reach the top of the desk without standing on my tip-toes! I can do it!”
“That’s wonderful!”
“But mother, why did I have to be able to reach the top of the desk?”
“Because that is where I am going to put the cage for your new hamster!”
That day Little Bobby Simmons came home from school and found a brand new hamster cage on his desk, and inside was a fuzzy little hamster.
Act Two: Bobby And Squeak
Squeak was just five weeks old when he came to live with Bobby. Although Squeak missed his mother terribly, and his father and all his brothers and sisters, he loved Bobby with al. his heart.
And Bobby loved him.
The two of them were inseparable. Bobby would sneak bits of his meal to Squeak during dinner. He hid the hamster under a napkin in his lap when his mother wasn’t looking. And his mother always knew to look away long enough to give Bobby time to feed Squeak, to make sure he didn’t get “caught.”
Bobby and Squeak, Squeak and Bobby. Two closer friends you can never find. They played together every day. Squeak made sure that Bobby did his homework, and Bobby made sure that Squeak had clean water and a fresh cage. He never, ever, neglected his best friend.
But one day he forgot something.
Act Three: Squeak Out And About
Bobby had a special assembly at school and he was excited. It was his job to carry the American flag during the assembly and he was so eager he could barely sleep the night before. Finally the morning came and he jumped out of bed, got washed and ready for school, fed Squeak, and was in practically ran all the way to school.
Now bobby loved Squeak, and he took as good care of him as any boy ever took care of his hamster, if not better, but this particular day he was in a hurry and when he fed Squeak he forgot to latch the cage door.
Squeak didn’t notice. He ate his breakfast and ran around in his wheel, as he always did, then he took a nap, as he always did, and then, on his way back to his wheel, he saw something strange: his door was ajar.
Squeak was curious and he slowly went out the door, and finding himself on the desk he always saw from his bed of shredded newspaper, began to feel a little more confident. He sniffed his way across the desk, and then, feeling a bit bold, jumped off the desk and onto the floor. This was totally new territory for him. He loved the feel of the carpet and the smoothness of the wood floors. He played on the steps of the stairs and ran among the legs of the furniture. He ran around corners and jumped over shoes and loved it when the smoothness of the floor gave way to the grass of the lawn and then the concrete of the sidewalk.
Yes, without paying attention poor little Squeak found himself outside and in unfamiliar surroundings. The poor little hamster only wanted to go home and be ready to play with Bobby when he came home.
But where was home? What did it even look like? A little afraid and already homesick, Squeak started to walk back toward his house.
But he was going in the wrong direction.
Act Four: Squeak’s Bad Day
He was cold and hungry. He was tired and alone. Squeak was lost. He had walked far, far from home. Bobby, back in the warm and comfortable house, missed Squeak with all his heart. All he wanted was for his friend to be home. And Squeak wanted the same thing too.
Tears in his eyes, Squeak no longer paid attention to where he was wandering. He never noticed when the grass turned to dirt and then to sand, never noticed the Keep Out signs, nor could he read them even he did, and Squeak never, ever, had any idea what was happening when the loud whistling began from the sky, when the sirens went off, when the ground shook, and the world was full of heat and pain.
Squeak had no idea that he had been caught in an atomic bomb blast.
Act Five: Hamsterus
Squeak’s fur vaporized. His blood boiled in his veins. The little hamster was irradiated, exploded, and every cell destroyed.
Yet he didn’t die.
His fur turned to thick, rough hide. His little claws grew longer and tougher. He grew bigger and bigger, stronger and stronger, and meaner and meaner. The atomic bomb test in the Arizona desert turned little Squeak into a giant monster, with eyes that shot laser beams of death and a mouth that breathed fire. His skin was tough as tank armor. And his mind was full of hate.
Hate for the world! Hate for his cruel transformation! But most of all, hate for Little Bobby Simmons. It was his fault, all is fault! All along Bobby had pretended to like Squeak, but he was the one that left the cage door open, he was the one who made it possible for Squeak to get out, all Bobby’s fault that Squeak was caught in an atomic bomb test.
Yes, all Bobby’s fault, and squeak would have his revenge.
No, not Squeak. Squeak was dead. In his place existed only a giant monster, 300 feet tall. Squeak was dead, Hamsterus lived!
Act Six: Squeak Comes Home.
“Bobby!” Hamsterus raged! “WHY DID YOU BETRAY ME?!?!?!?” Hamsterus reared back on his hind legs and with fast, determined strides, turned to the bright lights of the city, smoke steaming out of his snout, anger and destruction dripping from every pore.
Little Bobby Simmons had been inconsolable since Squeak ran away. He looked all over the house and with his little flashlight he looked in every hole and tree nook on his block. With his last bit of allowance money, Bobby made posters and put them up all over town. He missed his little friend Squeak and wished with all his heart that he would come home. Suddenly, as he was riding his bike down the block, he heard his mother’s frantic voice calling him home.
“What is it mom?”
“Bobby! Get home right away! We have to get out of here!”
Bobby pedaled home and his mother was frantically stuffing clothes into his knapsack. “We have to get out of here!”
Bobby had no idea what was going on, but he looked at the television playing in the living room and he saw something out of a monster movie. The army and air force was fighting a giant, fire-breathing hamster. The creature’s eyes shot lasers that destroyed tanks, and his fiery breath melted the planes in the sky. A twitch of his whiskers wiped out a whole battalion of soldiers.
“Squeak! Mommy, Squeak is coming home!”
And even as Bobby said it, he could feel the ground shaking as Hamsterus entered the town limits. The television showed his neighbors running in the streets, panicking, cars crashing into each other out of control. His mother grabbed him and dragged him outside. They started running but Bobby had no idea where they were going. He could hear screaming, and planes flying overheard. The air was filled with the shouts of soldiers trying to direct the people out of danger, and other soliders’ screams of pain as they died under the clawed feet of Hamsterus. Bobby smelled smoke in the air, he felt the vibrations as homes were crushed and even the school was knocked down by the awesome strength of Hamsterus.
His mother stumbled and fell, dragging Bobby down with her. She tried to get up, but her ankle was twisted and she could not move.
“Bobby, run! Save yourself!”
But it was too late. As Bobby looked at his other, tears in his eyes, he saw Hamsterus looming over his head above the trees.
Hamsterus looked down at the boy. “Bobby!”
Act Seven: Requiem For A Hamster.
Hamsterus saw Bobby and, with evil in his beady black eyes, reached down and lifted the boy into the air.
“Squeak! What happened to you?”
“It was you! All you! You did this to me! You left my cage open and now you must die!”
Tears welled up in the boy’s eyes. “I love you Squeak.”
Hamsterus leaned down, smoke billowing around his head. “Time to die Bobby!”
Suddenly, out of the crowd darted the famous Dr. Shigezawa, Professor of Radiation at Nanking University, clutching something to close to his chest. It was too far for Bobby to see what happened, but it seemed that just as Hamsterus was about to eat him in his savage maw, the device let out some sort of strange beam and a high pitched whine. Hamsterus began to shrink.
Bobby fell out of the beast’s clutches and from the street watched as the colossal creature grew smaller and shrank, and as he got smaller the evil seemed to leave his eyes. And once he was tiny again, Bobby knew that Squeak had come home. He rushed over and picked up his beloved pet.
“Squeak! Oh, Squeak, tell me you’ll be OK!”
Squeak looked up at him and, through glassy eyes, saw the boy he loved. And then he died.
Bobby’s mom, now back on her feet, walked unsteadily back to Bobby and out her arms around her son.
“Bobby, I hope this teaches you a lesson. You’re just not responsible enough to take care of a pet. Now go to your room.”
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Well guys, there you have the gist of it. I really think this can be a hit at the box office and I already have a sequel lined up, called Gerbilicus. Help me out, please. This is better than 95% of what I found on Kickstarter.
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Tags: bmj2k, cartoons, Disney, Godzilla, Hamsterus, Mr. Blog, Mr. Blog's Tepid Ride, Mr. BTR, pets, Pixar
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