Archive | Television RSS feed for this section

Fun With Teh Internets: Quick Hits

28 Jan

January 28, 2013

keyes1.jpg

I’m contractually obligated to Mr. B for one page of stuff per week. This week, I couldn’t quite put all of the rage I feel into one coherent piece, so I’m taking the easy way out and going all stream of consciousness and stuff…..ok, I’m half-assing it really, but let’s all be honest here – my full-assed efforts probably aren’t much better!

This Commercial Annoys Me….

Let’s get this straight.  The flying waitresses are incredulous about…… a phone app. NOT a talking, intelligent pig. About an app that is actually so common, everyone has at least one.  Some commercials are so stupid as to insult the viewer. This is one such commercial. You can ask Mr. Blog, I often watch commercials so mind-numbingly stupid that I basically put a fatwah on everyone involved with it in any way.

 Speaking of Annoying….
Nobody ruins a baseball game like FOX.  ESPN is close, but FOX sets the bar lowest. And the main reason for that is loudmouth Tim McCarver. I’ve never listened to anyone as unknowledgeable about baseball as him, and that includes Joe Morgan and my 3 yr. old cousin. There’s a reason he was fired by BOTH the Mets and Yanks. I remember one inane thing he must’ve said about twenty times during the ’85 season – something he thought was the height of wit. “Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?” To which I always answered the television with “die.”  I plan on outliving this clown for spite.

mccarver

What I’m Watching….

They may not look like much, but these are REAL men. They gave up their lives and families and basically headed to Alaska to strike it rich mining for gold:

gold rush

Of course, these guys are also kind of screw-ups in a lot of ways. They don’t know what they’re doing so it’s always one problem or another with them. That said, it’s fascinating to watch the process, the machinery, and just to see how much effort goes into finding even one ounce of precious, precious gold. And “Dakota Fred” – a crusty old miner who doesn’t take any guff – makes this show. Highly recommended!

Most Hardcore Father Ever….

MR. BTR SAYS: Keyes better stop ripping off my Imponderable gimmick!

MR. BTR SAYS: Keyes better stop ripping off my Imponderable gimmick!

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2258877/Chinese-father-hires-virtual-hitman-kill-son-online-games–job.html

It’s not quite what you think. Basically, poor Mr. Feng’s son was a layabout no-account lazy bum who wouldn’t tear himself away from his video games long enough to get a job. So he did what any loving father would do: hired better players to constantly find his son’s presence online and kill him straightaway on the premise that if he kept getting pwn3d like a noob, he’d quit and find a job and become productive member of the ruling party.  Of course, the plan didn’t work out, but it was a worthy try. I’d have just smashed the computer myself, but Dif’rent Strokes (RIP Conrad Bain) and such.

What I’m Reading….

Books? What are those?????

Classic TV Crossover: Magnum P.I. and The A-Team

23 Jan

January 23, 2013

One of my favorite shows is Magnum P.I. I put it in the top tier of detective shows. There’s Columbo, Magnum, Kojak, then everyone else.

So I was watching it the other night and it occurred to me that, with only a slight twist to their backstory, the man characters of Magnum could easily have become The A-Team. They were in Viet Nam, they were a highly trained team. What if they were assigned to the classified job that fell to the A-Team? Magnum, Rick, and TC could be on the run.

This led me to thinking about what should have been a no-brainer: a Magnum P.I. and The A-Team crossover. It was amazingly obvious- the A-Team is spotted in Hawaii where they’ve taken a job and Thomas Magnum ends up working the same case. The army goes after the A-Team but mistakes Magnum and his crew for the criminals. Just look at the similarities. Think about it for just a second, it is screamingly obvious.

Magnum leader2

Magnum tough guy2

Magnum operator2

Magnum warrior2

Magnum van2

They could even have had Lance LeGault play a dual role.

Magnum nemesis2

While it seems so perfect in retrospect, it had nil chance of ever being made since they aired on different networks. (Magnum was CBS, A-Team was NBC.) Too bad, because it practically writes itself: Face pulling a scheme in the King Kamehameha Club, Magnum in the Aquamaniac suit, and I’d love to see Higgins tormented by Murdock. Just imagine them drugging BA to get him into the Island Hopper’s chopper. I am not much of a fan of fanfic so this is as far as I’ll go. I think this is one of the great unmade shows of television. Magnum crossed over with Simon and Simon (remember them?) and even with Jessica Fletcher on Murder, She Wrote. Neither of those crossovers screams “event.”  I can only imagine how excited I would have been had this actually happened back around 1985.