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Cereal Killers: Frankenberry Vs. Cap’n Crunch

24 Oct

October 24, 2013

We had a team-building day at The Company I Am employed by. This was odd because:
 A- Our team has not changed.
 B- There are only 4 members of my team.
 and C- No one else had a team-building day.

We began by having one-on-one interviews with our superiors from Langley Wilmington. It seems to me that one-on-ones totally defeat the point of team-building but what do I know? I’m only college educated. Next, each member of the team gave updates on whatever projects we have going on. Sound like fun yet? This was followed by lunch. Counting our superiors and one extra person from a related area who sat in, there were seven people in the room. They brought in enough sandwiches for, easily, five times that number, and that assumes that each of us would eat three sandwiches each. Which none of us did. Oddly, all these sandwiches were accompanied by four personal bottles of water (for seven people) and a two liter bottle of Coke. (Trust me, I got both a bottle of water and a glass of Coke. I felt pretty privileged, believe you me.) there was also some salad and some pasta salad, in more or less appropriate amounts.

After lunch, it was game time. Sigh.

We were split into teams (one of us was the “host”) and played a game where we were asked questions at random and awarded a point for no readily discernible reason. When it was my turn I was asked “if you could be one cereal box character, who would it be? My response? Frankenberry. Why? Because he is big and strong, yet friendly, and with Halloween around the corner I am sure to clean up when it comes to trick-or-treating. (Yes, I am an adult.)

This caused an argument.

Why not Count Chocula?
He can only go out at night.

Why not Boo Berry?
He’s an intangible ghost.

Fruit Brute and Yummy Mummy have their own drawbacks as well.

Why not Captain Crunch?

Now it’s on!

battleberry

But Captain Crunch is a Captain!
He’s been a captain his whole career. If he was so hot he’d be an admiral or a commodore by now. (Commodore Crunch has a nice ring to it.)

He’s a decorated war hero!
Not only do I not buy that, but his ship is made of wood. Not exactly state of the art. Plus look at his uniform. I’m not totally convinced that he’s an American captain. War hero? For all I know, he could be a war criminal.

He has authority!
He has no authority over land.

And that won me the argument. My teammate totally lost it and cracked up and the other side had to admit that Cap’n Crunch’s jurisdiction did not extend to land-based trick-or-treating, especially over civilians.

So my side won, although there was no prize (except maybe whatever the point of team-building is, which eluded me and my team, who have been together for a year and a half.)

On the other hand, we all won because once the game was over, we were all allowed to leave work early.

Score!

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The Treasure Chest of Terrible Toys: Smoking Popeye

19 Oct

October 20, 2013

treasure chest logo

There’s one toy I’ve always wanted to induct into the Treasure Chest of Terrible Toys. On the face of it, it sounds great: it combines one of my favorite comic strip characters (you know, the guy with the spinach and the anger management problem) with classic tin toys. But somehow it got all screwed up along the way and what should have been awesome became awful. Problem is, it turns out that my ne’er-do-well brother Allan Keyes already beat me to it. So without further ado, Smoking Popeye.

from November 12, 2012

SMOKIN!

Mr. B has been on his on-again, off-again bad toy kick. Which got me thinking about the BEST toy.  No, not Lincoln Logs. Not an Erector Set. Play D’Oh? NO! The best toy evah is…….

SMOKING POPEYE:                       

Yes, it’s as cool as it sounds! A Popeye that…..smokes. Fun for the family! But it really was a gentler time, when kids could actually have a toy like this. You could NEVER get this toy to market today. And it signals a sea change in the country, because there was a time when 9 out of 10 doctors endorsed smoking, and it was considered very glamorous thing to do: 

Mr. BTR has no clue who this actress is.

Hubba hubba!

But while us humans are slowly moving beyond smoking, there’s still one segment of the planet that is embracing smoking with a passion:

FUN WITH TEH INTERNETS! TODAY’S SEARCH: SMOKING ANIMALS

1)

More fun that a barrel full of smoking monkeys! Monkeys are the most intelligent animal in the kingdom aside from us, so it figures that they’ve been smoking for quite a while now. There’s also unconfirmed reports that rhesus monkeys have started playing Barry White music before they…..uh, get busy with their monkey significant others.  Smart indeed.

2) 

Now this is a very civilized goat. You can’t see it behind the fence, but he’s wearing a natty jacket with patches on the sleeves. Unfortunately, he’s smoking rum and maple blend (UGH)

3) 

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! Isn’t that just the kewtest widdle thing! If that little one needed a light from me, I’d flick my bic! We all know how much Mr. B WUVS kittehs!!!!

Speaking  of cute cats: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9kYNId_Kvbo (The White Shadow one is my favorite!)

4)

This is NOT Pierre D. Duck, the World’s Greatest Duck, who is very anti-smoking and will quack at you if you smoke. You can find the link to his Facebook page in the sidebar.

The AFLAC duck celebrates after closing on the Glengarry leads…..

5)

Now that’s one bitch that knows how to party! (See what I did there?)

6)

Um…..what? This one doesn’t make any sense, but it’s so wonderful that I don’t care! This gives me hope that I can fulfill my dream of one day seeing a dolphin take a bong hit. For now, the closest I can come to that magical day is this:

 

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