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The Cojoined (And Possibly Transgender) Mermaids of Wildwood NJ

22 Jul

July 22, 2015

Sideshows, carnivals, and traveling circuses used to feature all sorts of “amazing” oddities and displays. Bearded ladies, wolf-men, snake-people, and even mermaids could be seen and gawked at for just a few cents. But nowadays, not only has the price gone up, but the public demands more and more. Nope, plain old run-of-the-mill mermaids aren’t enough to satisfy audiences today. This amazing piece of sideshow art was on display in Wildwood New Jersey.

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These are not your average mermaids, nope. These are conjoined mermaids. And ironically, they are painted behind a pair of seats it would be impossible for them to sit in.

This being the modern era, and not knowing thing one about how mermaids would reproduce- like a fish? Like a human? -the painting is very unhelpful in that regard, the possibility came up that maybe, somehow, those conjoined mermaids are also transgender. The one on the right does look a little more masculine than the other. (Unbelievably, alcohol played no part in that conversation.)

I will wisely leave that topic alone.

However, although I am sure that isn’t vintage, it is still a great example of old sideshow art.

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Pro Wrestling Smackaround! Grudge Match!

2 Jul

July 2, 2015

And here we go! World Wrestling Congress action is coming to you live tonight from the General Custer High School auditorium in Auxvasse, Missouri! We have a sold out crowd of 983! The whole town is here!

They haven’t had a crowd like this since the general store burned down.

That’s right! I’m Chuck McGonagall and with me as always is my partner, Luscious Lenny Brown.

And I love you all! Tonight’s show is brought to you by The Egg Hutch on Route 3. Come on in for some eggs!

I had one this morning, It was pretty good. Well fans, we have some awesome action tonight. In our main event, General Duke Rightwing is taking on The Conscientious Dissenter. Duke doesn’t take too kindly to The Dissenter’s new Canadian allegiance.

That’s right Chuck. There’s no love lost there. If General Rightwing wins, he’s going to make The Dissenter enlist in the army.

Wow! Also on the card is a Missouri Brawl Battle. 13 men enter the ring at the same time. The first one to stack the others in a human pyramid and climb to the top and grab the flag hanging above the center of the ring wins.

Oooh! I’ve never seen that before!

You get all the best action in the WWC! Some of our biggest stars are already entered. Big Little Smalls and Mr. Graceful are itching to go, and I heard a rumor that WWC Interstate Champion David Letterman Junior is in the arena.

Whoa!

We’ll also see tag team action with Bip and Bop taking on The Filipino Coal Miners, and Bucky “The Rich Man’s Mojo” Mathers will team with La Ardila against Robot 1 and Robot 4.

I can’t wait! Let’s go to the ring, our first match is about to begin. It’s a rematch from last week’s pay per view, Stairway to Amazing. Surfer Boy is taking on Mr. Surfing in a Catch the Wave match. I hope you have your towel ready Chuck! I don’t even know what that means!

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