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Tag Archives: patriotism

Pro Wrestling Smackaround! Grudge Match!

2 Jul

July 2, 2015

And here we go! World Wrestling Congress action is coming to you live tonight from the General Custer High School auditorium in Auxvasse, Missouri! We have a sold out crowd of 983! The whole town is here!

They haven’t had a crowd like this since the general store burned down.

That’s right! I’m Chuck McGonagall and with me as always is my partner, Luscious Lenny Brown.

And I love you all! Tonight’s show is brought to you by The Egg Hutch on Route 3. Come on in for some eggs!

I had one this morning, It was pretty good. Well fans, we have some awesome action tonight. In our main event, General Duke Rightwing is taking on The Conscientious Dissenter. Duke doesn’t take too kindly to The Dissenter’s new Canadian allegiance.

That’s right Chuck. There’s no love lost there. If General Rightwing wins, he’s going to make The Dissenter enlist in the army.

Wow! Also on the card is a Missouri Brawl Battle. 13 men enter the ring at the same time. The first one to stack the others in a human pyramid and climb to the top and grab the flag hanging above the center of the ring wins.

Oooh! I’ve never seen that before!

You get all the best action in the WWC! Some of our biggest stars are already entered. Big Little Smalls and Mr. Graceful are itching to go, and I heard a rumor that WWC Interstate Champion David Letterman Junior is in the arena.

Whoa!

We’ll also see tag team action with Bip and Bop taking on The Filipino Coal Miners, and Bucky “The Rich Man’s Mojo” Mathers will team with La Ardila against Robot 1 and Robot 4.

I can’t wait! Let’s go to the ring, our first match is about to begin. It’s a rematch from last week’s pay per view, Stairway to Amazing. Surfer Boy is taking on Mr. Surfing in a Catch the Wave match. I hope you have your towel ready Chuck! I don’t even know what that means!

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Pro Wrestling Smackaround! Round Two

3 Nov

November 3, 2014

Welcome back to the Crop Dust Arena in Tonganoxie Kansas! We have a sold out audience of almost 950 fans waiting for all the World Wrestling Congress action. I’m Lucky Larry Lindy and with me as always is my partner, Charlie “Big Tree” McGee.

About time you let me talk, little Larry.

Hey!

Listen, tonight’s show is one for the ages. We’ve got The Armenian Ace and Castro going up against Sargent America and Corporal USA. This match was ordered by the Commissioner of Wrestling after Corporal USA stole Castro’s green card and threatened to burn it in an All-American bonfire.

And don’t forget, that match has a stipulation that only union-member referees can call a three count.

Yeah, they’re running a check on referee Duke Blankeye backstage right now. We also have a pair of singles matches tonight. First, it is a battle between Jay-Z Elvis and The Porn Gif. These two guys have been brawling all across Southwestern Kansas!

Also in action will be Doctor New York, and he’ll be going up against Melvin the Nerd.

Ugh, I hope that little geek doesn’t split his pants again.

But the main event tonight is one we all been waiting to see since they first brawled in their Hell in a Pool match in last September’s pay per view, September to Not Forget. The Masked Surgeon will be putting his WWC Interstate Tri-City championship belt on the line against Colonel Mustard. Last week, Colonel Mustard hit The Masked Surgeon over the head in the conservatory with a lead pipe. He’s threatened to “candlestick” the Surgeon this week. I’m not sure what that means but it can’t be good for the masked one.

Later on we’ve got a WWC Dream Girl match with Penny Dreadlock taking on Butch Vera, but it’s time for our first match. It’s a rematch from their July loser buys dinner for life match. It’s Ghetto Rodney vs. Muttonchops McFly in a stop eating or I’m going bankrupt match! Muttonchops McFly won the match and he’s eating Ghetto Rodney out of house and home!

Ghetto Rodney had to take on a second job stocking shelves in a discount sock outlet to make ends meet. He’s hoping this match will, and I quote “stop that big fat slob McFly from eating me into debt or I’m going to be forced to sell my home.” Let’s go to the ring!

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