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Space Jammed

17 Jul

July 17, 2013

Former New York Knicks player Baron Davis was abducted by aliens a few weeks ago. I’ll let him tell it in his own words.

“I was, um, on my way from Vegas here to L.A., I’m a little tired and s— and I see this light and I think it’s a big-a– truck. Then next thing you know, dude, like, I was in this f—— steel thing.”

It didn’t end there. In many abduction stories, there is a period of blackout and often the victim’s next memory would be heading home some hours later. Not so Davis. He recalls meeting “these f—— crazy-looking people” who were “half-human, half, like, f—–, ugly motherf——.”

In fact, Baron has some clear recollections of that evening. “Dude, they were poking me on my nose and s—. They were poking me on my nose and they were, like, looking me in my eyes. They had my hands like, tied up and the next thing you know, I was f—— in Montebello, dude, burning rubber on the way back to L.A. It was like four o’clock in the morning.”

Davis later recanted the story, claiming it was all a joke.

(http://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/baron-davis-abducted-aliens-article-1.1397660)

Judging from his outfit, I tend to believe it.

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Treasure Chest of Terrible Toys: The Pet Rock

13 Jul

July 13, 2013

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pet rock

The Pet Rock was either a terrible toy or the most genius idea ever made. What a great pet! You do not have to walk it, feed it, clean it, take it to the vet, pick up its poop, or even look at it. And in return? Paint it, dress it up, do what you will and it will never complain, let alone bark, meow, grunt, or make any noise related to any living organism, ever. It will never run away, make any noise, or in any way remind you that it exists. And what do you get in return? Pure, pure love.

It’s a rock!

What a great business that was. Rocks cost nothing to make and they are all over the place. Talk about your infinitely renewable resource.

This was a huge fad back in the 70’s, but then again, so was Richard Nixon and Viet Nam.

So what happened to all those rocks when the Pet Rock fad died? They were painted green and sold as Kryptonite.

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I have to guess that the only reason a kid would buy one of these was to lock it in a lead lined box so that Superman could never come in contact with it and lose all his powers.

What’s next for the Pet Rock? CELEBRITY ENDORSEMENT!

Coming Soon: Mr. Blog’s Tepid Rock! Just in time for Christmas!