October 30, 2013
I was, once again, at the Chiller Theatre convention in lovely New Jersey. And it is true, some things never change. Like the last two times I went, it was a blast. tons of stars, former stars, never were stars, and loads of chicks showing off their maimed zombified boobs. (It appeals to a particular kind of fetishist, which I am not.)
So what else never changes? Hmm. Was Greg “The Hammer” Valentine, former pro-wrestler with a face that looks like the underside of a leather couch, drunk again? Hard to tell. The previous two times he was quite visibly hammered. This year he was eating a salad. But the expression on his face? Exactly the same. This man looks drunk just eating a salad.
So where do you stand on Omarosa? Personally, I’d like to stand on her neck. Can’t stand her. But is she a celebrity? I passed her twice in the crowded halls as she was going from room to room. Now, this year was the most crowded I ever saw the Con, and both times I passed her it was in some of the narrower hallways. Despite actually rubbing, literally, shoulders with her (or due to the height difference, shoulder to upper arm) she left no impression on me. In fact, I saw Howard Finkel (WWE’s The Fink) in the men’s room shaking hands (yes, he washed them) and signing autographs yet no one seemed to recognize or care about Omarosa. And despite all her protestations on The Celebrity Apprentice about how classy she is, she dressed down in a see-through mesh top and a skimpy tank top. Not an attractive look for her but let’s be fair, there is no attractive look for her.
I also got a look at some genuine props from Jaws. I have a pic of me in front of the barrels they shot into the shark. Take a look at the beach closed sign. Check out the bottom left corner to see who officially reopened the beach.
I saw Zacherle for the third con in a row, still looking good at his age of near-one hundred, and got Chuck McCann’s autograph at the next table. For all the amazing work he’s done over the years, I am most impressed that he was also the voice of The Thing in the 90’s on the Fantastic Four cartoon and he signed (and the other three stars did as well) a character sheet of the FF. and as a bonus, he bellowed “It’s clobberin’ time!”
Gilbert Gottfreid was there, first convention ever for him. He was charging $25 for a picture and had no takers. Kent McCord, a personal favorite, signed an autograph and talked with me about Adam-12. The picture was free.
Scott Wilson (Hershel) from The Walking Dead was totally swamped, as were Ralph Macchio and Corey Feldman, believe it or not.
Larry Storch was there, Corporal Agarn from F Troop and yes, he was wearing the hat.
There were plenty of costumes, mostly zombies, and not a single Batman.
I also scored the very last (literally, THE LAST) of the limited edition glasses Chiller sells. This year had Bela Lugosi from White Zombie on it. (Last convention- Lon Chaney from London After Midnight. Before that- Vampira.)
Sara Karloff was there, looking more like her father every year. Hacksaw Jim Duggan was there, and I pity the people working at the table next to him, since every two minutes or so his trademark “HOOOOO-OOOOO!” came bellowing out his mouth. Also there was Ace Frehley from KISS, and he was swamped.
I scored some movie posters and some great photos and autographs, plus an Perry Mason pocket book from the 1950’s. I had a blast and I leave you with a serious word of advice. BUY YOUR TICKETS ONLINE IN ADVANCE. People were waiting outside to buy tickets for SIX HOURS. True. That is not an exaggeration. My brother and I were harassed to sell our wristbands to a couple of guys after we left, and while we could have soaked the guys, they offered $10 bucks apiece but we passed.
Next year we hold out for $50.
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