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Locally Single, Globally Pathetic

23 Jun

June 23, 2014

Pity the local single guy. He tries, oh he tries. But not hard enough. His car is not up to speed, his clothes are not quite as clean as they could be, and his choice of music not the most romantic. Is it any wonder this man is still single? Here’s another batch of local single guy tweets.

lsg

A rose on The Bachelorette? He’d be lucky sit on a stool on Bar Rescue.

But like I said, he tries. It is even possible his pants won’t have any ketchup stains this week. After all, he thinks he might do the laundry.

Follow the tweets on this site in the sidebar or @ bmj2k on twitter.

 

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Imponderable#122: The Driveways of Harris County

18 May

May 18, 2014

This is a story of one man’s dedication. It is a testament to determination and the human spirit. It is also, as one woman is quoted in the article, a tale of a creep-crapper and revenge poop.

serial

Harris County has an interesting definition of “terrorizing.” If only Al-Qaeda had stuck to pooping on lawns, this world would be a very different place.

This should be a slam dunk for the police. This guy is leaving tons of DNA evidence at the scene of every crime.

Meanwhile, based on the description of an older, balding Mexican with a mustache, I think the police should haul the Frito Bandito in for questioning ASAP.

frito bandito

After all, if he’s eating all those Fritos, I’m not surprised he’s been pooping on driveways. Heck, he’s probably pooping all over town with all those salty corn chips in his system.

How could a human being do this? (Unless he’s drunk. Then I totally get it.)
The question is Imponderable.

 

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