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One Day in Metropolis (JLA Blog 1)

9 Nov

November 9, 2017

With the impending release of the Justice League movie, which I fully expect to be mediocre at best, I re-present my better, and more realistic, take on Superman. 

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August 15, 2014

Tourist: Look!

Man: Wha?

Tourist: Look! Up in the sky!

Man: Get outta my way, I’m walkin’ here.

Tourist: Seriously, look in the sky!

Woman: I think it’s a bird or something, I dunno, like an owl.

Man: That guy’s nuts.

Tourist: Look! In the sky!

Woman: Now it kinda looks like a plane. It’s just a plane.

Man: Jeez, I’m supposed to get all excited over a bird? This is Metropolis, try to not see a bird or a plane.

Tourist: It’s Superman!

Woman: That’s all? I’m late for my appointment.

Tourist: But it’s Superman!

Man: Let me tell you something about this Superman, pal. Maybe you wazzn’t here back then, but when Brainiac got a mad on and wanted to kill Supes he didn’t go to no Pittsburgh. He showed up right here and stood right in Shuster Square, daring Supes to hit him right in the kisser. Traffic was tied up for miles. Think I got to work that day? No I did not. Lost my job over that. And unemployment don’t take “lost my job cuz of Brainiac” and pay off a jackpot.

Tourist: But what about Lex Luthor, huh? Superman kept him from destroying the Boring Building.

Man: Yeah, but not before Luthor ripped up half the block. Yeah, Superman saved the Boring Building, but what about the Good Chops Diner down the block? They’ve been closed for three weeks tryin’ ta fix it up. My wife used to work there. Let me tell you, there ain’t no work there now.

Tourist: Well, ok, I’m sorry, but wow, look at him. Don’t you wish you could fly like him?

Man: Yeah, I’d fly away to a place where I ain’t got no bills. MetroBank don’t let you pay off your credit cards with Daily Planet coupons.

Tourist: Oh, yeah, I see…

Man: Yeah, great, now you see. You think about that while I’m on line for food stamps. See ya around, I’m late already.

 

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Is That Ian McKellen?

1 Apr

April 1, 2017

Sir Ian McKellen, in addition to being one of the great actors of our time, is also one of the most recognizable. This is partly due to his roles in a pair of hugely popular franchises.

As Magneto in the X-Men franchise

As Gandalf in The Lord of The Rings

So it was a surprise when, after sitting through Disney’s new, live-action Beauty and the Beast movie that I discovered that Ian McKellen had a prominent role in the story. He played Cogsworth the clock and the vast majority of the part was just voice-over work. I didn’t recognize his voice- in fact, I was sure I did, but I didn’t think it was McKellen. I thought it was either Leo McKern (better known as Number Two in The Prisoner and as Rumpole of the Bailey) or the guy who played Mr. Tebbs on Are You Being Served, an old BBC sitcom from the 70’s. Problem is, both men died decades ago.

And when the clock turned back to a human at the end of the film (spoiler alert!- oops, too late) and Ian McKellen appeared in person, not only did I still not recognize him but I was more sure than ever that he was either McKern or James Hayter (Mr. Tebbs from Served.) Take a look at Magneto above and Cogsworth below and tell me if any of you would have recognized McKellen.

Separated at birth?

Now take a look at the other men. Is it any surprise that I thought that it was either of them? I have to hand it to Ian McKellen. He is such a good actor that I was prepared to believe that it was anyone but him in the movie. Even a couple of dead men.

 

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