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Imponderable #120: The Sewers of Lawton, Oklahoma

20 Mar

March 20, 2014

In these tough economic times, every penny counts. And if that penny happens to be a 20 dollar bill, then it counts 2000 times. So when a man in Lawton, Oklahoma, dropped $20, it was entirely logical that he would want to get it back, even if it meant that he had to climb down a storm drain to get it. That’s where the story starts to get good.

sewer

I’ve never been in a storm drain. In fact, ever since I saw Pennywise in It (when you’re dead you’ll float!) I make sure to stay far, far away from sewer drains. My other experience regarding sewers comes from the movie Them!

 

So if I dropped $20 into a storm drain, would I go after it? No way, Jose. The water in those drainage pipes? It isn’t exactly clean. There’s a reason that Lawton man came out of water-filled sewer system disoriented and dehydrated. If that was the NYC sewer system, he’d also be covered in boils and CHUD bites.

If you dropped $20 into a storm drain, what would you do?

 

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The Pantsless Peanut

12 Mar

March 12, 2014

Mr. Peanut has received a makeover and as usual he is not wearing pants. The gave him a snazzy, upper-class twit-style waistcoat, but his lower half is still au natural.

I realize that there is a rich history of pantsless anthropomorphic cartoon characters- Donald Duck, Porky Pig, Bill Clinton- but what makes Mr. Peanut stand out is that he is skirting the issue (so to speak) by wearing some sort of leg warmers. They look like pants legs but do not cover his crotch.

Mr_-Peanut1

Why must he walk around with his nut hanging out? He is still instantly recognizable with his lower shell discretely covered.

I say it is time to strike a blow for morals and decency. Join me in my crusade to put a pair of pants on Mr. Peanut.

 

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