Archive | June, 2014

Locally Single, Globally Pathetic

23 Jun

June 23, 2014

Pity the local single guy. He tries, oh he tries. But not hard enough. His car is not up to speed, his clothes are not quite as clean as they could be, and his choice of music not the most romantic. Is it any wonder this man is still single? Here’s another batch of local single guy tweets.

lsg

A rose on The Bachelorette? He’d be lucky sit on a stool on Bar Rescue.

But like I said, he tries. It is even possible his pants won’t have any ketchup stains this week. After all, he thinks he might do the laundry.

Follow the tweets on this site in the sidebar or @ bmj2k on twitter.

 

Local Single Guy Seeks Followers. Object: Pathos

13 Jun

June 13, 2014

I’ve been using my Twitter account lately to post some Onion-style headlines featuring the local single guy. Let me be clear on this- This is not me and is not based on me. I am happily involved with my fantasy dwarf RPG.

Here are the first few tweets.

lsg1

Sad, so sad. Poor guy has no idea how sad his life is. Poor guy also has no idea how I uncreatively used “sad” three times in the previous sentence. That’s pretty sad too.

lsg2

OK, well, I do admit that I’ve had cold pizza more than once in my life. But there’s nothing wrong with that! I like cold pizza!

lsg3

Local single guy also thinks Madea is pretty hot. I don’t have the heart to tell him that it is Tyler Perry in drag.

You can follow me and see more than just the same ol’ same ol’ @bmj2k, or just find the Twitter feed somewhere on the sidebar to the right.

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