Archive | May, 2014

From the Mr. BTaRchives

6 May

May 6, 2014

This blog has been on WordPress since 2009. It has been around a lot longer than that, but you had to be on MySpace to see it, and we all know what happened with that site. So when everyone upped and moved out of MySpace one day, leaving me all alone (“Hey, where’d everyone go? Huh? What’s a “Facebook”?) I moved most of my old posts over to WordPress and continued on.

But while the posts were the same, the look was not. Although I didn’t keep any screencaps, I found a lot of old images of the blog on the Internet Archives site. Here is a smattering of the old looks of Mr. Blog’s Tepid Ride.

1btrnov2009

Here we are, back in November of 2009, and I love the white text on a black background. However, I got a few complaints that it was hard to read so that didn’t last long. There are a few things worth mentioning here. First, the header. I took that picture myself in Coney Island. Since then, Astroland has been sold and the rocket has gone with it. If you go there today the burger boy is still there, but the rocket is long gone. The header also features one of my old taglines, “It is what it is.” We’ll see some more tags later on. That page also features my old bio, before the current one written by Mac of BIOnighT.

 2btrfeb2010

This is from February 2010. The black background is gone and you can see a little more of the Coney Island header. (There is much more to that image, still unseen.) I liked this theme because it leaves the header image clean. The sidebar has one of my favorite “raves,” from Jim at relicradio.com.

3btrapr2010

This is April 2010 and we’ve gone to a more modern header. In fact, I’m currently using a variation of that header right now. Do you see the grammatical error in this one? It isn’t really an error. At the time this was made, the software didn’t support apostrophes. I figured it looked good and no one would notice. The tag has also changed, to “some guy’s idea of fun,” which I still think sums this blog up.

4btrjune2010

June 2010 and we’re starting to look familiar. I changed to the current theme, but I’m using one of the generic WordPress color schemes. The tag has changed once more, to “Based on the novel “Mr. Blog” by Sapphire,” which is making me chuckle as I type but may be too dated to reuse.

5btraug2010

August of 2010 brought a new tag (“A shadowy flight into the dangerous world of a man who does not exist. Wait- that’s Knight Rider.”) as well as a new “rave,” from the multi-talented JRD Skinner of flashpulp.com. He picked right up on my Superman obsession. There is also a “contact me!” link, which today can be found at the bottom of the “About me” page. I have to warn you, though- now, as then, I never check that email. All I ever get is spam about people wanting me to run their ads.

6btrjan2011

January of 2011 and I’ve changed to the green color scheme, which won’t last long. The tag has also changed to something close to my current tag. The header image is the first of a few city scenes and highway signs I’ve used over the years. This version of the blog added a few new pages, including the Scrappers page which is mercifully long gone. I added the Invisible Man founder image, and it popped up once or twice more over the years. I also wasted a lot of space with more “raves,” none of which appear on the blog anymore due to, quite honestly, my embarrassment. This particular Conway Twitty post still gets a ton of hits and the occasional angry comment.

7btrapr2011

In April 2011 I added the custom background which looks a lot better now than it does here. It still isn’t quite finished yet, but this is close to the way the blog currently looks. The founder is gone, replaced by my teaser (and I still love that ad) for the return of Mr. Know-It-All.

8btraprlate2011

Here we are. I added the sidebars, and there’s my Conrad Bain plaque. (Why? Why not?) You can also see an early version of the long running city header, which ran for longer than any other image.

There have been some other changes along the way, including a ton of American Chopper headers, and the Tepid Zombie header, which I still dust off when appropriate.

zombie-header

By the way, here’s the full Coney Island rocket header:

16_astroland_rocketBMJ2K

The graffiti on the windows is my addition, but the rest of the building looks the same if you go there today, except for the rocket.

The blog hasn’t changed much in the last three years. The tag changed yet again, and there are some other small alterations. The site is due for another change, but no matter what, I promise not to go back to the white letters on black background.

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The Saturday Comics: Captain Kirk vs. Conan the Barbarian

2 May

May 2, 2014

cropped-sat-com-logo.jpg

 

Remember Power Records? Those old 45 rpm albums that came packaged with a read along comic? They were absolutely fantastic. Star Trek, superheroes, Planet of the Apes, they were a 70’s geeks dream. While doing thing on the web, I came across a great cover of a Star Trek story, The Time Stealer. This was an original story, never aired. From Memory Alpha:

“Captain’s log, stardate 6134.6. The mysterious… time slow-down we’re experiencing has affected… not only every crew member on board… but all the Enterprise‘s instruments and computer banks… it’s as if… time itself were winding down… and us with it…“

Spock reports that the time slowing phenomena began when the Enterprise came within three light years of the high-density energy field ahead. CaptainKirk orders Sulu to stop the engines and bring impulse power online. As they stop, Spock notes that the time slowing effect has ceased – “at least… things are getting no slower.“

Kirk orders the ship turned about to put at least ten light years between them and the strange distortion. Sulu notes that an alien vessel is approaching them from the starboard. Uhura tries to raise communications with them as the viewscreen shows the ship. It has an unfamiliar shape, but appears to be a warship. A hail arrives, and the voice introduces himself as Konrac and demands their surrender. The warship then fires on the Enterprise, causing some minimal damage.

After a quick scan of the other ship, Spock notes that despite its size, there are only two lifeforms aboard. Kirk contacts Scotty and has them beam over the two beings to the Enterprise. When Spock and Kirk arrive at the transport dock, they discover Scotty slumped in a corner and Konrac on the attack. The only reason that Konrac cannot overcome Kirk is due to Kirk’s advanced combat techniques, but they are fighting to a standstill. Spock sneaks up behind the other being, a man dressed in what appear to be wizard’s robes, and uses the Vulcan nerve pinch to quickly subdue him. With that action, Konrac’s strength vanishes, and Kirk is able to easily defeat him.

In sickbay, Dr.McCoy explains that the wizard, Klee, actually is a wizard, and was using magic. As they discuss this, Sulu reports from the bridge that the time-slowdown area has moved. Konrac explains that the distortion is called a Gola and has its own orbit. He further explains that its orbit brings it in range of his planet one a regular basis, causing great problems. His civilization is as old as the Humans, but their development is still at the barbarian stages due to the time slowdown effects.

“Captain’s log, supplemental. Konrac and Klee were sincere. Their entire race was counting on them to wipe out the menace that had held their culture locked in a standstill for centuries. And now they had the help of a starship!“

Kirk orders Chekov to fire phasers at the Gola, and even after three direct hits, no effect can be seen, just as with the photon torpedoes fired moments before. McCoy suggests that it is because the Gola is twisting time and avoiding the weapons of the Enterprise. At the same time, Spock notes that the Gola is now an enemy with intelligence, and it is approaching them directly. Klee and Spock huddle and discuss the situation. Between the two of them, they come up with a plan to attack its mind rather than its physical form.

Klee began conjuring up mental images of his ancestors and storing them in the Enterprise computer banks. While he was doing so, Konrac tells Kirk about the origins of his culture, and that their oldest ancestors came from a planet called Earth. Before Kirk can inquire further, the Gola approaches even closer. Fortunately, Klee is prepared and launches his attack, but it is not enough. Klee and Konrac’s culture is not old enough. Spock approaches the terminal and begins to glow with the same aura as Klee and added the history of the Vulcan people, millions of years all at once. The Gola is paralyzed with the shock. Spock tells Kirk that during the attack, he could feel the mind of the Gola. They put the sounds onto the speakers and it sounds like a crying baby. Spock notes that it is searching for its parent, the sun that spawned it.

“Captain’s log… stardate 6453.2. After using a long-range tractor beam to pull the Gola behind us for several days, we finally released it moments ago… as we orbited the star sun Spock’s calculations had pinpointed as the parent. All of us watched the screen in eager anticipation…“

The Gola is no longer a threat, and Konrac and Klee’s world safe, and the two returned. Kirk tells Spock that something about the two still bothers him, and that they came from Earth originally, but that he knows of no records describing a culture vanishing from Earth at that time. Spock retorts, noting that he saw mental images of a sinking continent, and evacuations taking place aboard spaceships. He mentions the legend of Atlantis to which Kirk notes that he may have just solved one of the mysteries of Earth.

At this time, Power Records also had the Conan the Barbarian license, so when it was time to mock-up a cover, what easier way than to swipe some Conan art to stand in for Konrac the Barbarian?

STARTREKtimestealer

There it is, the cover that must have launched a thousand bad fanfics.

 

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