Archive | 12:00 am

Imponderable #97: NYC Mayor Michael Bloomberg

14 Jun

June 14, 2013

From the “are we done with this guy yet?” department:

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Before we begin, let’s educate ourselves on how Nanny Bloomie became a billionaire, shall we?

Bloomberg attended Johns Hopkins University, where he joined Phi Kappa Psi. He graduated in 1964 with a Bachelor of Science in electrical engineering. In 1966 he received his Master of Business Administration from Harvard Business School. In 1973, Bloomberg became a general partner at Salomon Brothers, a bulge-bracket Wall Street investment bank, where he headed equity trading and, later, systems development. In 1981, Salomon Brothers was bought and Bloomberg was laid off from the investment bank and given a $10 million severance package. Using this money, Bloomberg went on to set up a company named Innovative Market Systems. His business plan was based on the realization that Wall Street (and the financial community generally) was willing to pay for high quality business information, delivered as quickly as possible and in as many usable forms possible, via technology (e.g., graphs of highly specific trends). In 1982, Merrill Lynch became the new company’s first customer, installing 22 of the company’s Market Master terminals and investing $30 million in the company. The company was renamed Bloomberg L.P. in 1987. By 1990, it had installed 8,000 terminals. Over the years, ancillary products including Bloomberg News, Bloomberg Message, and Bloomberg Tradebook were launched. As of 2012, the company had more than 310,000 terminals worldwide. His company also has a radio network which currently has its flagship station as 1130 WBBR AM in New York City.

Hey, that’s a path we can all follow! 

Bloomberg’s mangling of the English language is a legendary as his need to cuddle, coddle, and otherwise  treat all the people of New York as if we were little more than brainless tadpoles needing to be told where, when, and how to do anything. From banning big sodas to forcing bike lanes in busy roads to telling people to go see Broadway shows in the midst of a snowstorm, there is no one more out of touch with what it means to be an average person than this guy. So when he tells me to “speak grammar” I, as a former English teacher and current writer and editor for a major Company which rivals- no, far exceeds his- say “shut the Hell up, turd.”

In fact, the only thing he does worse than speak English is speak Spanish, as his bungling attempts to pander to Hispanic voters shows:

 

 

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