FOX News Must Have Flunked Math

8 May

May 8, 2013

There was a horrible story in the news today but it had a happy ending. Ten years ago three young girls were kidnapped right off the streets of Cleveland and today they were all rescued, alive.

An amazing story, and one that deserves better than to be turned into an SAT question. You know, the kind where one train leaves Detroit at 10 am traveling west at 65 mph and another train leaves Boston at 12:30 pm traveling east at 80 mph and you have to figure out if they would crash around 3 pm in New Jersey. Well, if it was left to FOX News they would never figure it out. I am sure they flunked the SAT exam back in their school days.

This is from the article appearing at

math is hard

“They didn’t provide the current ages for the other two women.”

Hmmm, let’s figure this out.

Berry disappeared 10 years ago nearly to the day. She was 16. 16 +10 = 26.

BREAKING NEWS! Berry is 26 years old!

Dejesus disappeared about a year later. She was 14.  14+9=23

FOX NEWS BREAKING NEWS ALERT! Dejesus is 23 years old.

So much for the “investigative journalism” of FOX News.


I’d love to have been at that press conference.

POLICE: Ms. Berry was 16 when she was kidnapped ten years ago.
FOX REPORTER: Officer! How old does that make her now?
POLICE: Stunned silence.
FOX REPORTER: I’ll put you down for “no comment.”

6 Responses to “FOX News Must Have Flunked Math”

  1. Mac of BIOnighT May 8, 2013 at 12:12 am #

    I’m trying to find a suitable comment, but this defies my imagination O___O


    • bmj2k May 8, 2013 at 12:15 am #

      You are too intelligent Mac, that’s the trouble.


  2. Daniel Appleton (@WillyAdama) May 8, 2013 at 12:19 am #

    Fox News – People that don’t WATCH CNN, MSNBC, HN, Fox, know more about current events than people who watch Fox.


  3. T E Stazyk May 8, 2013 at 3:31 am #

    Nice to see my hometown in the news (?).

    I think the media are so anxious to dish up lurid details that they ignore more prosaic facts like mathematical logic.

    And while we’re on that subject, forgive me and not to be pedantic, but if a train leaves Boston travelling east at 80 mph, it will crash into Boston Harbor before reaching New Jersey.,


    • bmj2k May 8, 2013 at 8:49 am #

      For that geographic genius I appoint you FOX News White House correspondent.


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