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The Treasure Chest of Terrible Toys: The Justice Jogger

16 Feb

February 16, 2013

jogger

superman-logo-012LOOK! Up in the sky! It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s… it’s… probably just a bird or a plane. So where’s Superman? Lex Luthor has just stolen the Fregosi Emerald (get it?) and he’s making his getaway down Bates Avenue! Someone has to stop him!

Oh, wait a minute, here comes Superman, reclining in an easy chair and drinking a nice warm cup of tea. He’s wearing a cardigan and slippers. Huh? How does he ever expect to catch Luthor now?

Oh, catch him he shall. For superman is taking it easy today, sitting back and catching up on some reading while persuing evil in his JUSTICE JOGGER!

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Yes, for those days when leaping tall buildings in a single bound just sounds like too much effort, and flying at supersonic speed is a lot of work, Superman whips out his JUSTICE JOGGER and chases the bad guys at a nice and sedate, moderate rate of speed.

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And hey- power stepping action! No longer will medium-sized rocks stand between Superman and rounding up the Royal Flush Gang. It even has a sun roof!

This looks like so much fun! Doesn't it? DOESN'T IT???

This looks like so much fun! Doesn’t it? DOESN’T IT???

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Wow- that sun roof is windup powered! And can you believe that the package says that Superman could catch Darkseid in that? Whoa, is there anything the Justice Jogger can’t do? Probably catch Darkseid, for one thing.

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This one broke down when Cyborg took it to Detroit and it was stripped for parts by a gang.

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15 Responses to “The Treasure Chest of Terrible Toys: The Justice Jogger”

  1. T E Stazyk February 16, 2013 at 12:13 am #

    A new level of lame!

    Like

    • bmj2k February 16, 2013 at 9:16 am #

      How did Mattel think this was a good idea?

      Like

  2. Mac of BIOnighT February 16, 2013 at 12:13 am #

    Why Superman, of all characters? It’d be horribly silly anyway, but at least choose a character without superpowers… Truly amazing o__O

    Like

    • bmj2k February 16, 2013 at 9:15 am #

      The only worse one would be The Flash.

      Like

      • zathra February 16, 2013 at 10:17 am #

        I can imagine Batman’s rumpus room in the Batcave, & Spider – Man’s Web o’ Leisure. 😉

        Like

        • bmj2k February 16, 2013 at 1:17 pm #

          A toy company once forced Marvel to give Spider-Man a car for a few issues. It was a dune buggy of all things!

          Like

          • zathra February 16, 2013 at 7:02 pm #

            That’d really be useful to a guy whose primary means of travel is by swinging on webs & crawling on walls. I read that Reed Richards designed it or something.

            Like

            • bmj2k February 16, 2013 at 7:19 pm #

              The writers were so mad at being forced to use it that they eventually had Spidey total it in an accident.

              Like

              • zathra February 16, 2013 at 7:35 pm #

                Did they ever design & market a toy version of it ? I can just see Spider – man calling Triple A after an accident w / it……

                Like

                • Mac of BIOnighT February 16, 2013 at 9:15 pm #

                  For the records and not because I’m proud of it (I’m not), I do have the Spider car – I had a friend who worked for a kindergarten, so she stole the toys she thought I would be happy to have… Yes, she stole toys from the children – what the heck, they have to learn what life is like anyway, so why not learn that early in life so they can concentrate on something else later on.
                  Anyhow, I must say the spidercar not so bad to look at…

                  Like

                  • bmj2k February 16, 2013 at 11:21 pm #

                    Although in terms of story it is pretty silly, the actual vehicle looked pretty good.

                    Like

      • zathra February 16, 2013 at 10:20 am #

        ” The Justice Jogger ” only needs a DVD player & some sort of mini – bar.

        Like

  3. zathra February 16, 2013 at 12:43 am #

    Superman develops a Super – pot belly after spending so much time being sedentary. Next : Superman’s Super Diet regimen ( He goes vegetarian )! Little plastic Super carrots & cucumber sandwiches. Super – Jared from Subway keeps him on a healthy Super – Subway diet.

    Like

    • bmj2k February 16, 2013 at 9:15 am #

      Lois will have to let out his supersuit.

      Like

      • zathra February 16, 2013 at 10:15 am #

        I just got an unsettling image of Superman belching & scratching himself while watching Spike TV….. Oy. This ain’t what Jor – El had planned for his kid !

        Like

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