Happy Anniversary to Me!

6 Aug

August 6, 2012

I was actually starting to wonder if I should hang it up and quit my gig here. But then Mr. B reminded me of something wonderful – this is my 6th post anniversary here at Mr. BTR!  WHOA. Think about it – 6 posts, that’s 42 in dog posts! And according to Mr. B, the dog could do a better job than me. But since the dog can’t pay him as much as I can (yet) he’s not getting my spot. And he never will, or I’ll have him neutered. I’ve discovered I enjoy writing for the legions of Mr. BTR readers, and especially for the 3 of you who regularly dive into the gutter to read this crap for some reason.

Anyway, congratulatory messages have been pouring into the HQ this week, I’d like to share a few with you. It seems that people are just drawn to my down-to-earthiness (and that’s how you do the humblebrag!)

Thanks Vlad!!!!!!!!!! God, he’s one of my favorite people. Look at these pics – he leads the BEST life:


Well, the queen is kinda busy lately. Heck, she doesn’t even have time to pay attention to her own national Olympic team! Anyway, here’s a pic I took last time we were hanging out (she had just read a first draft of my upcoming novel, “Johnny Bananas”)


Oh Robert, you are such a jokesta!  (Not jokester, calling you that would be hateful) I’ll phone you to discuss this. TONIGHT.  One reason I like you so much is that after all these years, you’re still one handsome devil:

Yes, a little scruffy perhaps (you need to use that razor I left in for you in your medicine cabinet) but overall really not bad. Certainly you’ve aged better than some of your contemporaries:

Mr Blog Says: The word you are looking for is “matronly.”

WTF! Pacino has really let himself go. Scarface! Now he’s kind of an old leather-skinned matron. And this is one of his better pics recently.  And while I’m at it…..dude, Righetous Kill  sucked. We wait our whole lives for a movie where the two of you team up (5 minutes in Heat notwithstanding) and two of the greatest actors of our generation give us this pile of turd? I’ll be over later and we can discuss it. I have 2 binders full of notes for your review.That said, the two of you are doing MUCH better than this guy, he’s aged terribly! One of the best looking guys, and he’s reduced to this. It gives me hope, and more importantly, a great excuse to print two of my favorite pictures of all time:


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA……………………oh Jack. Good lord man.


I ran this through Google Translate and the text is as follows:

“I am very happy and give thanks to our Great Leader for giving you the talent to write your articles  I believe Kim Jong Il gave you the record and all your achievements It is all because of him”

He enclosed this pic of himself on a horse:

Does anything strike you about this picture (aside from the fact that they can’t even get Supreme Leader a better looking horse?) Look at the horse’s face. It’s the same expression as the horse from Animal House!

I mean yeah, that was right before Flounder killed him, but still. I imagine the horse on top would prefer to kill himself rather than trot Fat Leader around.



Oooof.  Maybe I should reconsider hanging it up…..


22 Responses to “Happy Anniversary to Me!”

  1. zathra August 6, 2012 at 12:43 am #

    I somehow had a flash of ESP that Kim Jung – un would be involved in this. How fortuitous that your anniversary coincides with the landing of Curiosity, the Mars roving laboratory ( watching it on NASA TV’s website as I type ) !! Congrats.


    • bmj2k August 6, 2012 at 12:52 am #

      DAMMIT! That was tonight? Missed it. I’ve been following that too. I’m a big science guy. Stuff like this gets me more excited than CERN or the “God particle.”


      • zathra August 6, 2012 at 1:00 am #

        Yep ! It’s getting ready to enter the Martian atmosphere. The ” Sky – Crane ” descent system they’re using quite frankly does NOT inspire a whole heap o’ confidence. I’ll bet there are Vegas oddsmakers taking bets on the landing. 😉


        • bmj2k August 6, 2012 at 1:03 am #

          I just followed your lead and found the NASA feed. Very cool.
          I feel like Jimbo should be in on this comversation after his guest post!


          • zathra August 6, 2012 at 1:07 am #

            Is this beyond cool or WHAT ???? 😉 😀


      • zathra August 6, 2012 at 1:05 am #

        & CNN just broke away to cover it so I’m watching it in stereo. Brown – trousers time, Mr. B.! The Black – Eyed Peas’ was even interviewed. He’s a space / science geek….. Go figure.


        • bmj2k August 6, 2012 at 1:10 am #

          This will be a good night to listen to Coast to Coast, even if I do thing Richard Hoagland is 1/2 nuts.


          • zathra August 6, 2012 at 1:14 am #

            Hoagland ?? Oh, Pllleeeaase !!! He’s delusional. Pyramids on Mars. He got the idea from Doctor Who. 😉


            • bmj2k August 6, 2012 at 1:32 am #

              What I hate is how he can freely mix hard science and utter fantasy.


              • zathra August 6, 2012 at 1:37 am #

                He looks at a yardang ( wind sculpted rock ) & thinks it looks like a pyramid, so that MAKES IT a freakin’ pyramid.
                & Curiosity made it down in 1 piece. They have 1 blurry, small pic from 1 camera on the craft. I was actually sweating !!


                • bmj2k August 6, 2012 at 1:41 am #

                  I am AWED at Curiosity.
                  And I think they stopped calling Hoagland their Scientific Advisor. Only guy worse than him is Ed Dames, in my opinion.


                  • zathra August 6, 2012 at 1:46 am #

                    This is the LAST major mission to another planet by an unmanned automated probe for awhile, save for a couple of orbital missions, & such, & I was actually nervous as to whether that ” sky crane ” would work as advertised, or go FUBAR & leave a multi million pile of scrap on Mars.


                    • bmj2k August 6, 2012 at 1:48 am #

                      I always think that people who don’t believe in UFOs should at least consider that what we’ve been doing to Mars is a lot like what aliens have allegedly been doing to Earth.


                    • zathra August 6, 2012 at 1:50 am #

                      Except we don’t have lasers. Wait, yes we do. Just not death ray lasers !!


              • zathra August 6, 2012 at 1:40 am #

                & Curiosity actually has a Twitter feed, I checked. That way Wil Wheaton & can keep track of it. 😉


                • bmj2k August 6, 2012 at 1:41 am #

                  I’ve been subscribed for a while now.


  2. ssrijana August 6, 2012 at 1:45 am #

    6 YRS long ..congrats .. 😀


  3. Thomas Stazyk August 6, 2012 at 1:52 am #

    Hilarious post–love the letters from dignitaries. All I can think of when I see those Jack Nicholson moobs is “You want the truth?” “You can’t handle the truth”


  4. bmj2k August 6, 2012 at 2:03 am #

    I need to reiterate, because these Allan Keyes posts are awesome, that my brother really does do it all himself. My only input is to put it on the site and sometimes add a caption. He better not stop because I do not want to go back to having to write 7 days a week. (The only dark cloud on the horizon? The return of The American Chopper Rundown soon.)


    • pennycoho August 6, 2012 at 9:59 pm #

      Laughing here, I had to come here and get my bmj2k fix (addiction). Your brother is great! Obviously related! I really enjoyed the comments as well. And I’m sure the aliens that watch from afar (or not so far) find this all as hilarious as I.


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