Archive | June, 2011

Let’s Go Crazy. Let’s Get Nuts.

9 Jun

June 9, 2011

Say what you want about talk radio, the real lunatic fringe is on sports radio.


In NYC we have one of the biggest, if not the biggest, sports-talk radio stations in North America, WFAN. I almost never listen to it. First of all, the station is dominated by the pompous and sports-challenged Mike Francesa. A bigger sack of crap you’d be hard pressed to find outside of Congress. And secondly, WFAN is the home of the Mets, and as a Mets fan I can’t stand the Mets. You really need to be a Mets fan to understand, but lunatic alleged alien-contactee Riley Martin (google him, you’ll thank me later) once said “he is my good friend, though I cannot stand him” and that kind of comes close.

Sports is the great equalizer. A bricklayer can speak with equal authority to a billionaire on the subject, and because of that you get an amazing cross-section of humanity calling sports talk shows. And with that, I would like to introduce you to Jerome from Manhattan.

Steve Somers, BTW, is a legend in NY sports circles. I love the guy.

Jerome is an excitable sort. If the Yankees win ten in a row and then lose one, he’ll call up yelling and screaming for someone to be fired or traded. He is a total nut. To say he makes snap-judgments is an understatement. If Joe DiMaggio were playing today and his 56 game hitting streak ended tomorrow, Jerome would be on the phone right after game 57 demanding that the Yankees trade him.

From wikipedia, and if you wonder why I hate them bear in mind that I actually cleaned up some of the grammar in this poorly written post:

A die-hard Yankees and Knicks fan, Jerome is famous for his on-air take-no-prisoners blistering rants and raves, as well as his unique take on the English language. One of his favorite exclamatory phrases is “frickin’ frack!” He refers to the bullpen as the “ballpen”, and once shouted that the Yankees are “done! D-O-E-N DONE!” His relationship status is intriguing enough for Steve   Somers to once give Jerome $60 to take a lady out on a date, only for Jerome to keep the money and not go out on the date. Former host Sid Rosenberg once asked Jerome if he was upset that he was not taking his eagerly anticipated trip to Colorado, and Jerome replied, “No, to Denver.” He does not like jets. They make him “seasick.” Jerome, when he still called WFAN regularly, was known for being the only caller to have an audio intro, much like those played at the top of each show. Occasionally when he calls in to Steve Somers’ program, a special introduction is played to the tune of The Twilight Zone. Mr. Mittelman’s health problems had kept him from the WFAN airwaves on a regular basis from late 2004 until mid-2008; he has recently started to call in more frequently.

He calls the station five or six times a day and usually calls other stations in between. Jerome has been banned from WFAN for racist language. After his ban I heard him on the air say of a black Yankee player “I hate that nig- … I hate that guy.” He also has very little knowledge of sports outside of his very limited knowledge of current Yankee players. Frankly, he has very limited knowledge of most things.

In the clip below, the picture will remain black because there is no video, only audio.

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

American Chopper: Senior vs. Junior: Cadillac Build-Off Part 2

6 Jun

June 6, 2011

For those of you who missed part one, here is a quick recap:

Cadillac approached both OCC and PJD with the idea of building a bike for charity. It is being billed as a build-off because one of them will be chosen as the better bike. PJD seems to have the edge because they have a pair of brand new Cadillacs in the shop and are using them as a template and for parts. OCC has a fairly average Jason Pohl design. Senior spent the entire episode telling blatant lies about Paulie and outright insulting him, and then decided that he should meet him in person and make up. And oh yeah, get those shares of OCC Paulie owns. Response to last week’s show is pretty consistent. Emailer’s agree that Paulie has the better bike and that Senior is a jerk.

This episode, like so many before them, just served to show what a jerk he is. He went on and on about how “paranoid” Paulie is, to the point  that he became obsessed with it. He actually believed that Paulie hired spies to take pictures of OCC’s bike. So to prove… I don’t know what he wanted to prove, he and his partner-in-stupid Jason Pohl dressed up in cammo gear, covered themselves in leaves, and crawled commando-style through a vacant lot to Paulie’s fence and hung a sign to tease him.

Paulie never even mentioned it.

More and more, the main draw of this show is Senior’s idiocy. It stopped being about the bikes long ago, and it isn’t even about the lawsuit anymore since it only rated about three minutes of screen time. Here’s the update: They are close to a deal.

However, it wouldn’t be fair of me to not mention something nice. Some kids from the Duchenne’s charity visited. Duchenne is a type of muscular dystrophy and the bikes will be auctioned off to help that charity. Some of the kids visited OCC where they designed a bike with Sr. and Jason Pohl. The kids left with copies of the blueprints they designed. Those guys are jerks, but that was a nice moment.

The kids also visited PJD where they painted with Mikey. Mikey had the line of the night. A parent said to him “you’re an artist too?” Mikey replied “I call myself that.” Nice! No one else does.

The centerpiece of the show was not the disappointing unveil but a competition in which OCC and PJD each raced Cadillacs and compared times.

Senior: “I think we smoked it.”

In fact, Senior had the slowest time and Paulie, everyone else from PJD, and the rest of OCC all beat his time. And he’s the big car collector and “risk taker,” which he must have said about half a dozen times. The fastest time was from an OCC guy we never saw before, named Storm. I think they brought in a ringer. The winning team? PJD, and Senior was visibly upset.

At the unveil, Senior and Junior were together for the first time with each other’s bikes. Paulie’s was far better. They drove out simultaneously and stopped, facing each other. Paulie pulled a power mover. After a pause, he lowered his bike to the ground, no kickstand. The crowd roared. Senior had a surprise too. His had a hidden gas tank and what everyone thought was the tank actually hid a nitrous bottle.

Neither said much, though they did fist bump, and you could see that each crew liked and admired some parts or features of the other’s bike. PJD’s bike was mostly favored by Caddy designers, particularly one who said “I’m the rear engineer.” That’s an interesting title. There was also plenty of love for the OCC bike too.

Which bike was better? I say it was Paulie’s. It was low and long and had great sleek lines. The rear looked like a Caddy rear. Senior’s was nice, not great.

As Dandydan wrote here in response to last week’s blog, all the OCC technology (which Senior bragged about again) just makes their bikes less impressive. And Rick Petko said on the show this week “There’s tons of chrome and paint, more than we’ve had in a long time.” How long? Since Paulie left?

But you all want to know who won. I have to tell you…

… no one won. It was a bullshit ending. They gave a website so the fans could vote on the bikes. No winner was declared.

To see the bikes and bid or vote, go to www.discovery.com/auction I hope that link works for you because as of this writing the site is overloaded.

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

← Older Entries
Newer Entries →