Tag Archives: Mike Francesa

Top Ten Things Rex Ryan Can Do To Keep His Job

6 Nov

November 6, 2014


The New York Jets are a woeful 2 – 9. Head Coach Rex Ryan has been slowly losing his grip on his job over the past few seasons, but this looks like the end for Rex. Is there anything he can do to stay on Gang Green’s sidelines?

Top Ten Things Rex Ryan Can Do To Keep His Job


– Hope that General Manager John Idzik is as clueless as he seems.

– Put on a wig, switch places with twin brother Rob Ryan.

NFL: Tampa Bay Buccaneers at New Orleans Saints

– Hide under bed for the entire offseason, just show up next season.

– Pray for divine intervention from WFAN’s Mike Francesa.

– Find a way to travel back in time and bring back 1969 Super Bowl MVP Joe Namath to start next week.

– If they want to fire him, they have to go through Michael Vick first.

– Invoke the “If Roger Goodell can keep his job, so can I” defense.

– Promise that if he stays, he’ll try really hard to do better next time.

– Change name to Sex Ryan, do stuff.

– Nothing.




Let’s Go Crazy. Let’s Get Nuts.

9 Jun

June 9, 2011

Say what you want about talk radio, the real lunatic fringe is on sports radio.

In NYC we have one of the biggest, if not the biggest, sports-talk radio stations in North America, WFAN. I almost never listen to it. First of all, the station is dominated by the pompous and sports-challenged Mike Francesa. A bigger sack of crap you’d be hard pressed to find outside of Congress. And secondly, WFAN is the home of the Mets, and as a Mets fan I can’t stand the Mets. You really need to be a Mets fan to understand, but lunatic alleged alien-contactee Riley Martin (google him, you’ll thank me later) once said “he is my good friend, though I cannot stand him” and that kind of comes close.

Sports is the great equalizer. A bricklayer can speak with equal authority to a billionaire on the subject, and because of that you get an amazing cross-section of humanity calling sports talk shows. And with that, I would like to introduce you to Jerome from Manhattan.

Steve Somers, BTW, is a legend in NY sports circles. I love the guy.

Jerome is an excitable sort. If the Yankees win ten in a row and then lose one, he’ll call up yelling and screaming for someone to be fired or traded. He is a total nut. To say he makes snap-judgments is an understatement. If Joe DiMaggio were playing today and his 56 game hitting streak ended tomorrow, Jerome would be on the phone right after game 57 demanding that the Yankees trade him.

From wikipedia, and if you wonder why I hate them bear in mind that I actually cleaned up some of the grammar in this poorly written post:

A die-hard Yankees and Knicks fan, Jerome is famous for his on-air take-no-prisoners blistering rants and raves, as well as his unique take on the English language. One of his favorite exclamatory phrases is “frickin’ frack!” He refers to the bullpen as the “ballpen”, and once shouted that the Yankees are “done! D-O-E-N DONE!” His relationship status is intriguing enough for Steve   Somers to once give Jerome $60 to take a lady out on a date, only for Jerome to keep the money and not go out on the date. Former host Sid Rosenberg once asked Jerome if he was upset that he was not taking his eagerly anticipated trip to Colorado, and Jerome replied, “No, to Denver.” He does not like jets. They make him “seasick.” Jerome, when he still called WFAN regularly, was known for being the only caller to have an audio intro, much like those played at the top of each show. Occasionally when he calls in to Steve Somers’ program, a special introduction is played to the tune of The Twilight Zone. Mr. Mittelman’s health problems had kept him from the WFAN airwaves on a regular basis from late 2004 until mid-2008; he has recently started to call in more frequently.

He calls the station five or six times a day and usually calls other stations in between. Jerome has been banned from WFAN for racist language. After his ban I heard him on the air say of a black Yankee player “I hate that nig- … I hate that guy.” He also has very little knowledge of sports outside of his very limited knowledge of current Yankee players. Frankly, he has very limited knowledge of most things.

In the clip below, the picture will remain black because there is no video, only audio.

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