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Tag Archives: WFAN

Top Ten Things Rex Ryan Can Do To Keep His Job

6 Nov

November 6, 2014

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The New York Jets are a woeful 2 – 9. Head Coach Rex Ryan has been slowly losing his grip on his job over the past few seasons, but this looks like the end for Rex. Is there anything he can do to stay on Gang Green’s sidelines?

Top Ten Things Rex Ryan Can Do To Keep His Job

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– Hope that General Manager John Idzik is as clueless as he seems.

– Put on a wig, switch places with twin brother Rob Ryan.

NFL: Tampa Bay Buccaneers at New Orleans Saints

– Hide under bed for the entire offseason, just show up next season.

– Pray for divine intervention from WFAN’s Mike Francesa.

– Find a way to travel back in time and bring back 1969 Super Bowl MVP Joe Namath to start next week.

– If they want to fire him, they have to go through Michael Vick first.

– Invoke the “If Roger Goodell can keep his job, so can I” defense.

– Promise that if he stays, he’ll try really hard to do better next time.

– Change name to Sex Ryan, do stuff.

– Nothing.

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Punctuation Can Be Insulting!

8 Sep

September 8, 2011

As a former English guy (teacher, not Briton) I tend to be sensitive about grammar and punctuation, which is why I play fast and loose with it in my posts. You see, you have to know grammar in order to get away with screwing around with it. That is the difference between being an intellectual and being an idiot, but no one seems to agree which side of that divide I fall on.

At any rate, I get bugged when I see bad or ignorant use of the English language. So the other day I was looking up something online and I came across the website of radio station WFAN, New York’s pretentious sports talk station. They had a sidebar of reporter bios, and this one caught my eye.

My first thought was “why would the Yankees beat up a reporter?”  My second thought was that some punctuation can really change the intent of that blurb.

Quotation marks are totally mis-used. How many times do you see signs that say We will be “closed” on Sunday? Did you wonder if maybe they will really be open on Sunday? You never use quotation marks for emphasis, you use it for direct quotes or, as is more fun, to cast doubt. Does Sweeny Murti really have insights? Or is it just some silly rambling nonsense? The quotation marks make me think the later.

Now I don’t even believe he is a reporter. Who is this Murti guy, some clown off the street?

But it isn’t just quotation marks that can be used to insult and cast aspersions. Take the question mark, for example. Start with this:And just add punctuation!

A smarter take? Doubtful!

But if you insist on using quotation marks you can accomplish the same thing.

And here’s another one:

Let’s use punctuation to screw with Neil.

Yeah, “fan” my sweet Aunt Fanny. This guy isn’t a fan.

Go ahead, try it yourself! Now that you know how to use proper punctuation to insult, there is a whole new world of nasty out there for you. Enjoy!

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